When Ross and Rachel “took a break,” the reality that the
relationship might not last started to sink in.
For all of the ways in which Ross had shown his love for Rachel since
she was in high school (and caused the world to love him back) and for the progress
that Rachel made in understanding her feelings for him, a major setback was
occurring. Could the relationship really
be the fairy tale again?
Uncertainty has its place in
relational advancement. Whether it’s a
marriage, a career, a church or a team, doubt about your fit for the future is
real. This might be unnerving for some,
but it’s true. Haven’t you sat back and
thought, “Is this the job for me?”
Asking the question is healthy. Consideration in areas of usefulness, connection and advancement make
sense. Is this company able to utilize
me in the ways I would like to, or do I want to give more of myself (time, talents,
and treasure) to this company’s mission?
The giftedness of the individual and the purpose of the organization
should be reviewed for alignment regularly.
However, it does not mean that
it’s a negative position. We have gotten
too used to this type of consideration ending in break-up. As such, we’ve believed that even asking the question
means it’s over. Ross and Rachel aren’t
real, but their relationship (at least as we know) ended in a commitment to
each other. Is it only on television
that it’s possible? I hope not.
In our companies, there are daily
issues that arise – conflict over management style, turnover, gossip, etc. Professionals should sit back and consider
what’s going on. The issues that rise to
the top after investigation are addressable.
True that one of the ways to address this situation might be
termination, but it is not the only option.
Sometimes a person has a bad day.
Sometimes expectations were not clearly shared. Sometimes there are outside elements to the
formula for success that we cannot control.
A machete to the relationship is not usually the right answer.
It is awful to worry when walking
into work that Ross or Rachel might ask you for a break. No one seeks this. And yet, it might just be the consideration
of future relationship that helps aright a ship’s course. Neither Rachel as a spoiled brat nor Ross as
an awkward, self-centered goof was the exclusive reason for the
consideration. It added to it, but the
deeper questions were ones of support and commitment. These are the same questions employees and
employers have for one another.
As an employee:
- Am I valued?
- How does the company really know what I do or who I am?
- Am I being taken advantage of? Is that the company’s fault or mine?
As an employer:
- Do my employees get why we have the mission we have?
- Is compensation the only way my employees receive affirmation? Have we allowed this to be true, if so?
- Am I holding back on resources because I fear my employees will leave?
Of course, there are more
questions to ask on either side of the table, but these catch some of the
initial consideration that should happen.
Relationships, whether between two people or between a person and
his/her company, take thought. Think
through why you might not be connecting as you once had. Termination, as divorce or resignation, is
the swifter option, but may be the less than ideal long term response. Step back and question.
The uncertainty ought to lead to
clarity. Results from the clarity might vary,
but the confidence to follow through will be stronger. Having been through the questioning process
will give you peace knowing that you really thought through this, which is
confidence-producing. Uncertainty has a
particular nuance of excitement to it as it offers the opportunity to relent to
“not knowing” what to do. If your response
were to be perfect each time, where are the opportunities to learn? By having the uncertainty, we get to step
back and research our companies, our relationships, and ourselves.
Ross and Rachel didn’t corner the
market on relational uncertainty. It’s
been appealing to us as viewers of movies and television, as readers of novels,
as writers of stories. Plot lines revolve
around relationships and have for centuries.
Turn off the “Friends” reruns and pick up a Shakespeare play…any will
do. Wherefore art thou, Ross?
