What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Managers grumble about the state of their employees from time to time (shocking, I know).  And while there might be lots to complain about, consider for a moment that the road you’re on is a two-way street.  The grumbling is traveling up and down both sides of the highway.  What are your employees saying about you? Some grumbling going on?

Well, of course, if that’s happening, then those employees are idiots.  Clearly.  I mean, you slave over work, you show up early, stay late, do jobs that no one notices…you’re a good man/woman.  Don’t these ungrateful leeches see that?

And therein, is the rub.  Maybe they don’t see it anymore, if ever.  Maybe it’s what you used to do, but you’ve become as complacent as you accuse your team of being.  It’s often subtle.  You don’t wake up one morning and decide to be less dedicated.  Rather, you might have allowed the tiredness of the path traveled to dictate your next moves.  And while it was only to be for a day, it’s now three months or three years later and the effects are being felt by your team.  They are now responding to what they’re experiencing.

My long time love, Molly Ringwald, in Pretty in Pink sits on her bed with Duckie (Jon Cryer).  She shares with him her hope that she’s not the only one who knows how incredible he is.  Duckie’s sad response is “Well, at this point in time, I’m afraid you are, honey.”   

It’s easy to blame you, right?  I mean, you’re the manager and everything stops with you.  Your boss barges into your office and demands results and explanations.  Your staff has been barging in demanding resources and complaining about you, the team, the work, etc.  You have it tough.  But you know what?  That comes with the territory.  You’re a manager.  Manage it.

Strong words, but necessary. 

Advancement is desired.  The mainstream talent management conversation is about succession planning and doing it quickly.  26-year old employees are looking to be CEO next year, if you believe every article written about it, and you can’t let that time get away from you to make it happen.  Removing the tongue from the cheek, an active, vibrant talent culture is one of collaboration, constant improvement and competency assessment and utilization.  Bringing less than our “A” game opens a door for staff to look outside of the department, at the very least, if not outside of the company. 

And while, this perspective is one for a three-day conference, a realistic first step is to sit down and ask yourself what you’ve done for your team lately.  Don’t allow rose-colored glasses of past sacrifices and engagements to color what you’re doing (or not doing) today.  I know you were the hero for the team in 2014, but it’s two years later.  That’s plenty of time to be forgotten, or at least, to be less impactful.

Every day is a day to crush it.  That’s not a pithy slogan.  That’s a business imperative.  The list is long and depressing of those companies that have closed or are a shell of what they used to be due to poor management and leadership.  And for almost all of them, what occurred was not a one-day issue.  The choices (or lack thereof) made did not align with the business mandate and were not delivered in a context for staff to understand.

Manage messaging as much as process and output.  Think about what you’re doing and act upon it.  While thinking is very important, it isn’t always a visible example to the team.  You sitting at your desk may not equate to an employee observing to self, “Oh, look at my awesome manager.  She is sitting at her desk looking at her computer.  I bet she’s considering staff morale and process improvement.  She’s so awesome.  I’m lucky to have her.”  Truth be told, it’s possible that’s what the manager might be doing at that moment, but it’s hard to know it as an observer.  Balance obnoxious bragging with informed considerate disclosure in conversation with your team.  Fill them in and deliver on what you’ve been contemplating.

The success of the past is just that.  It’s in the past.  Today, deliver something else.  The responsiveness from your staff will become what you desire it to be.  You’ll be setting a new tone or recovering a tone that once was.  The highway of complaining is replaced by one of vibrant complimenting.  Talent will know what can be done, who can do it and how it helps the whole.

Get up, hit the video below, shake your groove thing and think through a plan for yourself.  Today is that day.  As Janet says, “Soap opera says you’ve got one life to live.”

Don't Dream It's Over

When summer wraps up, there is something tangibly ending in our lives.  So much effort and energy are spent prepping for this season.  Not all of us live in the eternal sunshine states of Florida, California and the like, so summer is a big deal!  As an east coast resident, the three months of summer are gold.  Lots of effort goes into how to best spend those 3 months (really, it’s 2.5, but I’m rounding up!).  Day trips, evening patio dinners, weekend excursions, 7-day vacations, etc. are scheduled.  We don’t want it to end.

Danny and Sandy spent their summer swimming (Sandy almost drowned!), holding hands, staying out late and making out (Sandy tells it differently than Danny on this point).  Their weeks of summer were the best ever, but alas, summer ended and school was upon them.  Sandy had to go back to her faraway home and Danny back to his T-Birds.

In the business community, it’s easy to romanticize our off-site meetings or team getaways.  We build them up like the summer days that Danny and Sandy had. We set that time as the goal.  And just as those crazy love bird teens found out, the destination isn’t the goal.  For our organizations, the destination can be the annual sales celebration meeting in the Bahamas or the executive leadership team getaway to the Cayman Islands.  Those are amazing destinations and they are certainly more appealing than a frozen tundra (unless you prefer freezing your tookus off). 

Listen, get me on that plane! But the trip doesn’t last.  For some of us, we know better.  We get that the location is valuable, but it’s not the end.  We, instead, focus on what we’ll do once we’re there.  We redo mission statements; we plan incredible team building exercises; we bring in fabulous speakers to encourage and motivate our teams.  Those are great things!  So much planning goes into them and the hope for a return is desired.

And yet, therein may be the rub.  When we get back to work, what happens?  Is the pattern of normal living returned to?  When Danny went back to Rydell High School, he donned his leather jacket, put the cigarette in his mouth and entertained the ladies.  The “time of his life” that he experienced over the summer was a memory.

Perhaps much of the effort should be put into what the outcomes will be.  Yes, make the time memorable, but the post-trip time should be just as memorable. 

This applies to on-site excursions, too.  Those fantastic programs you put together.  The speakers you’ve brought in.  The launch event that marketing spent weeks on.  All of that is valuable, but it's not the end.  The leadership for the company, or at least for the division, should be involved in planning for post-trip.  More than one person will need to hold people accountable to the application or implementation from the event.  The team should be decided ahead of time upon the objectives as well as how to measure them.  This is effort, yes, but it's effort that justifies the ROI of such programs.  

Think about marriage.  So much time is spent planning for the wedding day.  Dress, flowers, photographer, venue, etc.  It’s all so important.  Months of planning are done.  What if that were it?  What if at the end of the reception or honeymoon, the newly married couple says, “That was fun.  We should plan another one of these again.  Take care and hope to see you soon.”  Each of them returns to his/her walk of life prior to being married.  As observers, we would likely think that they’re crazy.  They just got married…it’s more than a wedding.

That same logic holds true to the programs, events and conferences we help organize.  Think long-term for your team.  Don’t be enthralled with the “wedding” alone.  Think of the “marriage.”   The event won’t have to end; it will live on in its application.

Are We Ourselves?

Assertive versus Aggressive.  Confidence versus Conceit.  As a leader, we might display one over the other.  There was a guy I knew in high school who parlayed confidence into conceit on a regular basis.  He annoyed the crap out of me, but I found myself swimming in his lane to fight back.  I had become that rude jerk.  I was merely trying to be an assertive alpha male (my skinny frame didn't make it so easy to do....stupid track team), but it didn't translate that way to others.

While an assertive person channels and promotes good communication, the slide into aggression parlays that into interruption and talking over people.  It's a subtle slide.  There are characteristics that start healthy enough but then become twisted and contorted by a shifting foundation.

Is there something more lurking just a little deeper?  A lack of self-esteem may be at play.  It's not to say you don't have any self-esteem, but rather it's development might be askew.  Dr. Michael Miller, former editor in chief of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, says, “It’s more likely that self-esteem will come as a result of accurate self-understanding, appreciation of one’s genuine skills, and the satisfaction of helping others.”  As managers, is this our stance?

Observations for years show me how much management often find their identity in the work they do.  This becomes the basis for self-worth and self-esteem.  And this is a simple recipe for disaster.  When we base our esteem upon shifting sand, such as a particular organization, the work being done or even the people we work with, the foundation is based upon change.  People leave, we leave, the work changes and organizations are sold, merged, restructured or altered.  If we live for the company, we will be disappointed.

Our audience, however, might be receiving management poorly based upon the dilemma of assertive/aggressive or confidence/conceit.  Again, if it's a matter of self-esteem, your staff can easily identify the difference.  When a manager is over-the-top or a micro-manager, the talk among employees will start rather quickly.  It sets a tone for response that's based upon someone's individual needs (in this case, the manager) rather than the good of the whole.  Staff begin to look for ways to avoid the wrath of a manager or even seeing the manager at all.  These goals supersede the goals of the department in the work to be done.

Such a backwards setup.  We short-circuit the efforts towards our department's goals by the way in which we struggle to handle ourselves and the workload, for instance.  Help is an okay option.  It's not a sign of weakness, despite the possibility that your employer may think so.  And while I know your job is important to you (your finances, for example!), it cannot be that you should become less of the person you are or are meant to be.  Simple to say, right?  But what does it profit you to be aggressive, struggling with self-esteem or self-worth and not meet the goals you've set for work?  Right the ship.  Take the time necessary to unravel what's been going on.

Typically, managing the esteem of a manager is not on a job description, yet we see it happen.  Don't be the manager putting employees in this situation.  Get grounded outside of the work.  Then, when work needs to be done, it is a matter of how to best do it, apart from it fulfilling some esteem needs.  And while I am far from a self-help guru, I do know enough that there is truth that a person must discover for himself/herself that is separate from work, from a person or from status.  Take the time to examine yourself and find out what's true about you.

In human resources, we can find ourselves giving so much to others, which is a part of our job, that we tax our own foundation.  We must be sure to connect inwardly.

Pushing the envelope is worth it.  Don't fear being assertive.  It does matter in driving the goals of your department.  However, it is meant to be done with a specific goal in mind for the organization, not for your esteem.  If work defines you, take a small step back and look at the bigger picture.  Your role needs you to be as with it as possible.  You are the one in the role for a reason.  Get back to you.

Piece By Piece

Recognition has become a discipline within HR.  It is the art of providing or delivering attention to someone for a particular accomplishment.  It could be about the achievement of a specific goal or to mark a milestone within the organization.  It is valuable and provides proof that the company sees what its employees are doing and, sometimes, for the way in which those actions benefit the organization.

Of course, if someone works on a project for six months and it turns out great, it's very nice to be recognized for having finished the work well.  There is a benefit to those who see how the achievement of their work matters.  Connectivity is very important and it allows the performer to see how action produces real results, per person, piece by piece.  All of the cogs on the wheel are fantastically connected.  It's a great picture and the recognition factor drives it home.

Is that it?  

Long are the conversations regarding felt needs and reward.  Do we merely offer a plaque, a gift card, a weekend away and check off the box of recognition?  When dealing with real people with real baggage and real emotion living real lives, providing inauthentic trinkets may not pack the punch hoped for by the organization.  And what can often happen is that companies become bitter towards recognition because they sense an ungrateful response by employees.  What was meant to be a motivator becomes an open sore of tension pushing division.

As practical as we ought to be in HR (don't get me started on the value of business acumen and metrics, people!), we cannot swing the pendulum so far that we forget the people we are trying to serve.  Consider the concept of restorative recognition.  This is the kind of recognition that knows where people are, what makes them tick, what their circumstances are and then rewards them in the context of a real situation.  The deficiencies in their lives may not all be met, but we're providing appropriate levels of engaged recognition that we know will touch upon it.

The Make a Wish Foundation is magical because for years it has provided terminally ill children with the opportunity to have their greatest wish granted.  From going to a prom to meeting the President to being Batman for a day, the stories have touched the hearts of those precious children, of their parents and families and of the millions who watch the stories unfold.  It affects the heart.  

An employee who is struggling to pay for a child's college education is a real need.  We can know that.  Handing that employee a gift card for Macy's as a reward for an achieved goal or milestone is not going to solve the need of paying for college.  Nor is the point to give them $5000 as the reward in order to meet that need.  Think.  Be creative.  What would it mean to that employee to be recognized for the work he/she did that met the criteria for reward by handing him/her proof of monies being deposited into his/her child's college campus account for textbook purchases or towards the meal plan?  It's thoughtful.  It's given in light of knowing your employees.  It's an absolute way of endearing employees to the organization even more.

Think I'm crazy?  Get in line.  The point is that we can know these things about our staff and make a choice to recognize in restorative ways.  People carry around burdens and dreams.  Practically, we can't grant wishes all day, nor do we have the budget to do so.  Yet, we can use our imaginations and creativity to do something more than rummaging through a drawer in our office to find an Amazon gift card for a giveaway.

How many of your staff didn't get to go on a honeymoon?  How many haven't been able to take their spouse out due to a lack of affordable child care?  How many dreamed to be a professional baseball player?  How many trained as a dancer all throughout their childhood and have no opportunity to fit it into life now?  Now, be creative.  Work with a vendor partner to secure a weekend or an overnight to a bed and breakfast.  Work with a local certified and approved child care service provider for one night of child care (and throw an Uber and dinner in).  Get tickets to a baseball game and work with the event staff to throw some confetti on the employee to celebrate the Home Run Hitter he/she is at work.  Provide a six-week dance class to the employee that can happen after work in an open space right in the building.

These aren't all of the solutions.  They may be none in your particular case, but the point is that restorative recognition goes a long way to show that our involvement is thoughtful and done as a result of knowing our people.  As said earlier, connectivity is very important and it allows the performer to see how action produces real results, per person, piece by piece.  By doing this in a tailored manner, we cut to the soul of our people as well as of ourselves.  As a blubberer myself, I can tell you that when we're this thoughtful, people are moved and the tears flow.  

Get those creative juices flowing and know that people need more than a crystal pyramid with their name engraved.  That isn't likely to hit them deeply, but tickets to a concert of the one performer they've never had the chance to see before will.  Because you took the time to know them.  Because the company is invested in its employees.  Because we're building community.

Closer to Fine

When Ross and Rachel “took a break,” the reality that the relationship might not last started to sink in.  For all of the ways in which Ross had shown his love for Rachel since she was in high school (and caused the world to love him back) and for the progress that Rachel made in understanding her feelings for him, a major setback was occurring.  Could the relationship really be the fairy tale again?

Uncertainty has its place in relational advancement.  Whether it’s a marriage, a career, a church or a team, doubt about your fit for the future is real.  This might be unnerving for some, but it’s true.  Haven’t you sat back and thought, “Is this the job for me?”  Asking the question is healthy. Consideration in areas of usefulness, connection and advancement make sense.  Is this company able to utilize me in the ways I would like to, or do I want to give more of myself (time, talents, and treasure) to this company’s mission?   The giftedness of the individual and the purpose of the organization should be reviewed for alignment regularly.

However, it does not mean that it’s a negative position.  We have gotten too used to this type of consideration ending in break-up.  As such, we’ve believed that even asking the question means it’s over.  Ross and Rachel aren’t real, but their relationship (at least as we know) ended in a commitment to each other.  Is it only on television that it’s possible?  I hope not. 

In our companies, there are daily issues that arise – conflict over management style, turnover, gossip, etc.  Professionals should sit back and consider what’s going on.  The issues that rise to the top after investigation are addressable.  True that one of the ways to address this situation might be termination, but it is not the only option.  Sometimes a person has a bad day.  Sometimes expectations were not clearly shared.  Sometimes there are outside elements to the formula for success that we cannot control.  A machete to the relationship is not usually the right answer.

It is awful to worry when walking into work that Ross or Rachel might ask you for a break.  No one seeks this.  And yet, it might just be the consideration of future relationship that helps aright a ship’s course.  Neither Rachel as a spoiled brat nor Ross as an awkward, self-centered goof was the exclusive reason for the consideration.  It added to it, but the deeper questions were ones of support and commitment.  These are the same questions employees and employers have for one another.

As an employee:

• Am I valued?
• How does the company really know what I do or who I am?
• Am I being taken advantage of? Is that the company’s fault or mine?

As an employer:

• Do my employees get why we have the mission we have?
• Is compensation the only way my employees receive affirmation? Have we allowed this to be true, if so?
• Am I holding back on resources because I fear my employees will leave?

Of course, there are more questions to ask on either side of the table, but these catch some of the initial consideration that should happen.  Relationships, whether between two people or between a person and his/her company, take thought.  Think through why you might not be connecting as you once had.  Termination, as divorce or resignation, is the swifter option, but may be the less than ideal long term response.  Step back and question.

The uncertainty ought to lead to clarity.  Results from the clarity might vary, but the confidence to follow through will be stronger.  Having been through the questioning process will give you peace knowing that you really thought through this, which is confidence-producing.  Uncertainty has a particular nuance of excitement to it as it offers the opportunity to relent to “not knowing” what to do.  If your response were to be perfect each time, where are the opportunities to learn?  By having the uncertainty, we get to step back and research our companies, our relationships, and ourselves.

Ross and Rachel didn’t corner the market on relational uncertainty.  It’s been appealing to us as viewers of movies and television, as readers of novels, as writers of stories.  Plot lines revolve around relationships and have for centuries.  Turn off the “Friends” reruns and pick up a Shakespeare play…any will do.  Wherefore art thou, Ross?

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Disappointment is a tough emotion.  There isn’t a way to avoid it.  If you’re going to work for a living, attend school or have any kind of relationship, then disappointment will come. 

I recently saw a story about a boy, Walker, who broke his arm and was in the hospital to address the situation.  When Walker awoke, he saw that he broke a bone.  Instead of dread and disappointment, Walker couldn’t get over his excitement in having a cast.  He began to ask everyone in the room if they’d seen his cast.  He was elated in the difficulty (okay,, the drugs helped, but...).  How much is Walker teaching us about approaching annoyance, inconvenience, frustration?

In human resources, we’re asked to deal with many annoyances.  We are to point others to a better (not bitter) way of handling emotion and its impact on work.  This isn’t to belittle the true feelings that someone may have, but rather to enable a healthy perspective.  The disappointment felt can be crippling to some.  We can draw on our own experiences to help guide others.

When a new problem enters my life, do I ask others in pure joy if they see this opportunity given to me, as Walker did with his arm?  Do I present it as a privilege?  This isn’t about positive self-help crappola (that’s Italian for “crap”).  It’s about dealing with two realities – people and opportunities to grow.

Growth is easier.  Think about the disappointments that you’ve experienced in life – lost jobs, bad relationships, financial struggle, even death.  What did you learn from each of those experiences?  While I don’t wish any of those situations on anyone, I am sure that there was an opportunity to grow in action, consideration and relationship. 

A proactive approach to an unwelcome reality takes discipline and effort.  I can choose not to learn anything from the situation in front of me.  I can choose to sit in a corner and weep.  I can choose to remain in that corner for days, weeks, even if not literally.  My spirit sits crushed inside of me and I accept the victimization.  Well-intentioned people get hit with life and all that it has to offer.  I have watched some rise to the occasion and some fall to the wayside. 

In business, I have sat with executives who’ve lost everything.  I have cried with staff that I had to reduce.  I have packed boxes for companies that had to close.  I have been to the funerals of co-workers who died suddenly, leaving young families behind. 

Expectation setting is one of the hardest mechanisms against disappointment.  This is where the people component comes into play.  I know that I have disappointed others and I know I am not done disappointing.  It’s not that I intend to do so, but the expectations of others are not ones that I can control.  Some have expected me to fail, and I didn’t.  Some have expected me to soar, and I didn’t.  In both situations, disappointment was there.

Am I adding to that disappointment by fueling such expectations that others have for me?  Is it okay for me to address what I think others expect?  If you want to mitigate disappointment, then absolutely yes.  Walk into a team meeting and let others know what you’re sensing for expectations around a particular situation.  If they always think you’re to be the hero, is that fair?  Is that pressure yours to hold?  Aren’t you exhausted by all of the balls in the air?

Understand that the personal nature of some of this is very relevant in business.  We project personal feelings of disappointment on others.  When I work with a company that’s being sued by its own employees, it hurts.  There is no denying that, but does that business want to stay in business?  If so, then it cannot wallow in pity and despair.  Get up, understand that the expectations you had for that handful of employees was off, and work to make the company better today.  Direct your energies towards things that will give a return; don't settle for pure emotion. 

Listen, I am a crier (shocking to some, I know, but true).  I am a sucker for an emotionally charged commercial…where are the tissues?  My sensitive heart busts through my chest sometimes.  But that emotion may not be just about sappy sentiment, but also real disappointment and anger based on what I am seeing.  Previous experiences get brought to the surface based upon that movie, show or commercial.  I make connections in my mind.

These emotions and responses are mine to control.  Similarly, in work, I cannot expect a positive outcome if I project my disappointment on others. “Oh, if only so-and-so wasn’t here. It would so much easier to deal with work.”  Really?  Why give this person so much power in your life?  Why did you think you could expect a certain behavior from “so-and-so”?  Whose fault is that?

You should not desire to be a stumbling block to anyone, but know that it is likely to happen, as it has previously.  Intention is fine, but the reality as to how others respond cannot be overlooked.  Disappointment is going to happen.  It’s about how you will deal with it and what it does to your life.  Existing is no way to live.

Manage your expectations of others and know that there are certain things in life which are going to happen.  Death, taxes…and disappointment.  Rise above and use it to fuel health in all facets of your life.

Trouble

Tuesday nights at 8:30, you would find me on the living room floor, eating a bowl of cereal, watching “Laverne & Shirley.”  That was my routine for years as a kid.  That show would crack me up.  These two women would find themselves in all sorts of situations, that were often caused by them.  The remainder of the show would be about how they would unravel the trouble.  The classic misunderstandings, assumptions, over-promising and poorly defined expectations filled most of the plotlines. 

Sound a bit like work?  Think of the trouble caused by misunderstanding, to start.  Often, I hear the following:

• I didn’t know that was what he was asking me to do
• Wait, you meant for me to do that this week?
• I think my boss is trying to make me look bad on purpose
• How can I be expected to do anything more? No one knows all of what I do

Lack of clarity around process, personnel and results often find themselves into our daily  “issue board.”  You know, that growing list of concerns or problems brought up by misunderstanding.  Think of the extra meetings you’ve had to bridge the gaps towards understanding.  Lots, right?

I recall one particular time where I calculated 15 hours of my 40-hour work week spent on meetings I had not planned on having in order to mediate the trouble that was brewing surrounding misunderstanding, unrealized expectations and a general lack of grace towards each other.  That was 37.5% of my work week.  Productive?  Maybe.  Could it have been avoided to begin with?  Much of it could have been.

I know that there is much to learn through situations like this.  The “a-ha” moments usually come when someone, who has worked himself/herself into a tizzy, finds out that the “facts” he/she thought were off and it causes a reconsideration of how information is gathered and processed.  It’s a beautiful thing to watch.  And yet, if you find yourself in multiple situations like that, doesn’t that show more of a systemic issue?

Trouble is a difficult culture to break through.  There are some companies that love it.  They thrive on unhealthy relationships, difficult processes and a sloppy organizational design.  That’s not a dramatic statement.  Considering the amount of books, articles and workshops on dealing with toxic co-workers, difficult bosses and a separatist board of directors, it’s very reasonable to see that many companies must swim in this description and many of us deal with this on a regular basis.

As leaders, we ought to be proactive to thwart trouble before it begins.  We can offer direction on process, wisdom in relational dealings and passion behind seeking resolution directly.  It’s not meant to be emotionless, but it’s often the case that a culture allowed to be too emotional can end up being crippled by those emotions and fall short of the mission.  We can encourage folks to move beyond such short-sightedness.  The feeling is not where the prize is found; it’s in reaching the goal.

Consider marriage.  The wedding itself is a fun day.  It’s a party!  There is much to love and feel good about; however, the marriage itself is the goal.  Emotions won’t be in the same sphere each day as compared to the wedding.  If the marriage is based on the desire to feel the way they did on the wedding day, the marriage is doomed.  And so it is with business.  Not every day is the first day of work; not every day is the first sale made; not every day is the holiday party.  In between are days where a lack of clarity, issues around process and general trouble can occur.  Taking a proactive stance to thwart such problems and to add value to the communicative process so that others can perform it without you is our job.

Open the dialogue, call others to a higher standard and bring issues out into the open with the purpose of educating, diffusing and moving on.  Trouble festers if left unattended.  Don’t let it happen.  You can make such an impact.  I mean, if Laverne and Shirley were able to do it in a 30-minute time slot, I have faith that you can get it done in a timely manner.  Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated to all!

How Can I Be Sure?

by +Victorio Milian 

I get approached regularly with requests for career advice. I get asked all sorts of questions but they tend to be variations on the following:

• How do I break into Human Resources?
• How do I use social media to build my brand?
• What help can you give me to find a job?
• Victorio, why are you so cool?

I admit that the last one, while my favorite, is false! The others aren't.

I can sympathize; I've been in that position, one where I felt clueless about an important question I needed answers to, or a choice that I needed to make. As a result, I do my best to help people out. Usually I start with an email exchange and then if they're comfortable we'll move on to a phone conversation. If they live or plan to be in New York City then we can meet in person. Through this process of communication I've helped people figure out next steps in their professional lives, as well as developed some great relationships.

As I mentioned, I've felt clueless. I still feel that way sometimes. I don't have all of the answers, nor do I want to. Having challenging questions to answer is part of the learning process as a professional. For me, it drives me to better understand and articulate my passion for Human Resources, along with how I can support my clients in the best possible fashion.

I also recognize that, while I consider myself smart, capable, and creative, I'm not the smartest, most capable, or creative Human Resources professional in the world. As Bill Joy, computer scientist and co-founder of Sun Microsystems, once said:

“No matter how many smart people there are within your firm, remember that there are far more smart people outside your firm.”

It's important to remember this. Even if you yourself are an expert in your respective field, there are others out there just as capable, if not more so. And in this era where top talent and resources can be accessed from almost anywhere, it pays to recognize when to reach beyond your known environment for advice and expertise.

This is part of what leaders do--gather intelligence, as well as assess its quality and relevance to the issue at hand, in order to make informed decisions. Without the ability to ask, as well as the willingness to reach out to those within and outside a person's comfort zone, people may not have the relevant insight, perspective, or information necessary to make good decisions.

Competitive advantage can come from timely access to information and expertise, not necessarily being the source of it. Approaching people for help isn't a sign of weakness, neither is asking questions. When done correctly, it demonstrates an ability to seek out and make quality decisions based on the best information available.

How do you ask for help?

(Why You Gotta Be So) Rude?

Positivity is so…positive. When I am referred to as the warm, huggy HR guy (stop laughing, it still happens once in a while), I smile.  I mean, it’s certainly better than being seen as the obnoxious, pencil-pushing, rule-following, do-gooder HR guy.  And while I don’t think that my career has hinged on my positivity, it certainly hasn’t hurt it!

Yes, I’ve done the birthday parties, the collection of funds for the family of a recently deceased employee, the bridal shower, the retirement dinners and countless company holiday parties.  And you know what?  It’s okay.  I’m not Martha Stewart.  I’m not David Tutera.  I’m not on the panel of The Chew.  But, I am willing.

Approaching the fullness of the HR role with a willing, positive spirit invites others in.  It can opens doors for conversation and perspective-sharing that may not have otherwise occurred.  I have learned much from employees when we’re working on a project together.  Years ago, I worked on a “prom” being held during the summer for a group of temporary workers, as a thank you for their efforts.  It was hilarious.  Everyone went to a thrift shop and got awful tuxedos and bad bridesmaid dresses.  We laughed and laughed as pictures were taken under the balloon arch that we made.  And yet, one of the best parts of the whole thing was how much I got to know other staff who helped me get this craziness together.  We spent time decorating, making picture frame gifts for each employee, etc., which all allowed for conversation.  I learned so much about facets of the company, of process, of the good others were doing that I would not have had reason to know otherwise.

I know, I know.  Many of you are saying, “OK, Baldino, you’re always telling me not to just be the party-planner.  What gives here?”  My answer is that you’re right.  I don’t want you to be JUST the party-planner.  But that does not mean you shouldn't be a part of it.  An organization’s cultural improvement and enhancement is going to need leadership…that’s us, HR.  Don’t be afraid.  Love the chance to foster team through these opportunities.

And be authentically positive.  There’s so much in our world that is tough, draining, annoyingly compliant (if ACA, FMLA and the like don’t make you want to pull your hair out, you have issues).  Leverage opportunities for proactive organizational investment through positive approach with defined plans.  Too many of us walk into these opportunities with the look of “I have to” on our faces.  You won’t get the type of return possible with that kind of attitude.  Find the genuine reasons to be encouraged which will allow you to display the positivity needed.

Sometimes, the crankiest person in the department becomes your best friend after a shared experience.  There’s nothing like sharing hot dogs, beers and fries at a baseball game to bond people (at least for me).  Create memories, encourage camaraderie and set the mood for laughter.

Take stock of your demeanor.  I know how entitled you are to be pissed.  I get that most of the people you see each day suck the life out of you.  I am aware that you’ve had to cover the butts of people in the office for years.  Keep it in check.  Ever think what others are thinking of you?  Do you think you’re alone in categorizing and judging others?  Someone has to stop the carousel of negativity.  We are the cultural ambassadors of our organizations.

Take hold of that role and don’t apologize for the smile on your face.  No one should steal your joy.  I’m positive that you can do this (see what I did there?).

Nothing Compares to You

There is likely no more appropriate focus for business today than to deal with the idea of entitlement.  Our workforce is pushed to consider self.  And while it is necessary to consider self in the grand scheme of life, it does not equate to all policy and business direction being dictated as it relates to self.

In our schools, for example, we have acclimated to testing utilizing a variety of methodologies and techniques.  If someone is a poor traditional test-taker, then we have allowed them to verbally take the test with the teacher or demonstrate a mastery of the subject matter is other ways.  Now move that same student ahead 10 years into the workforce.  How many different ways are there for the worker to demonstrate his/her mastery of the subject (work)?  Most times, there’s just one.  We assess in specific, often singular, ways.  A product has to look and function in a certain way; even the service industry has parameters to stay within.

The point is not necessarily that we assess in various ways (though I would lean towards such a thought), but rather our workers are left outside of the process.  They then slip into a fight or flight mentality.  Turnover comes easier when I realize I can’t do the work the way you want.  I will leave, no problem.  If I am 24, I will find another entry level role.  I’m young.  No big deal.  If I am 44, I will find another role.  I’m still young enough (please don’t tell me that this is not still young…I might just breakdown).  No big deal.  Plus there is always unemployment insurance to assist me in the transition.

But, if I choose to fight, I will retreat to entitlement.  I will call upon the god of entitlement and its minions - accommodation, leave and disparate treatment.  How can I take care of me?  How has this work environment been unhealthy?  It cannot be that I am unable to do what’s required of me, but rather it must be how terrible it is here at work.

Sound familiar.  Let me hit that nerve even more.  How many businesses are living in fear of their employees?  What if they sue?  Complain?  Gulp…call the Department of Labor?  The organizations established to protect the American worker are viewed as the enemy of American business.  How did this happen?  Entitlement.  (There are real situations where a breaking of the law is happening in some companies; it has to be addressed.  Of course it does.  I am not swinging the pendulum too far the other way.)

So, what to do?

• Address it – don’t be scared!  Call it out.  Say, “We all come from a position of entitlement.”  Work through simple examples.  Don’t accuse.  Share general observations.  Let people laugh at you.  Let them laugh at themselves.
• Be transparent – as best as you can, share financials.  Let people know that the pot is only so big.  Yeah, I want to live at Google offices, too, but we can’t.  Who’s going to pay for it?  Once some more liquidity is in our hands, how should we spend it?  Which of these three options makes better sense in light of our financials and our mission?  Let employees engage!
• Coach – devise a plan to battle “me first.”  How do we call it out in each other without irritating the stew out of each other?  There is nothing wrong with asking a question about self, but is that the default position?  Demonstrate business acumen and meet your employee where he/she is.  Guide them through components of business decisions.  Long term, this will pay off in huge dividends…and I don’t mean just money.

I believe we are better than entitlement.  We have to be.  Our business cultures, our family units, society as a whole needs us to move beyond this perspective.  When we see it, we have to take action.  Healthy, lasting business development comes out of a functional belief in the work to be done and the integrity it takes to do it.  Encourage pride, speak to the struggles and affirm correct competencies.  We are more than one.

You Make Me Wanna

I had the opportunity to attend a RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Association) summer program during high school.  It was hosted on a college campus where about 75 local students were exposed to leadership development skill building, team dynamics and effective organizational tools; it was not exactly Meatballs with Bill Murray, but it was a good time.  The chaperones were non-existent and a bunch of juniors in high school were left to run the “social” programs for the week.  Ah, youth.

What stands out to me is that I was not invited by my high school to be considered for RYLA.  For whatever reasons, the Guidance Department did not initially invite me to interview with local Rotary members for the opportunity to attend.  There were to be only four students selected for consideration – two guys and two ladies.  When I saw my friends get invites to miss a class in order to interview, I walked out of class and went to the guidance office.  A couple of my friends ran out after me and told me not to worry about it.  They asked me what the big deal was.  The rejection, the lack of ask, made me want to do something to change the perception that was obviously there.

As you might imagine, I was mad.  So, I shared with the Director of Guidance my feelings about the circumstances.  She apologized and said they had decided to exclude me because they thought I wouldn’t be interested.  What?  A free vacation without my parents and you thought I wouldn’t be interested?  What about me says “not interested”?  That conversation took longer, but needless to say, I secured an interview slot and kicked butt in the interview.

Assumption is an interesting reality for management.  I have heard on many occasions, “Oh, Joe (insert your own name of choice) would never agree to that.  He won’t do that work.  He isn’t interested in projects.  He doesn’t like the company so he wouldn’t do it.”  The reasons might be one or many, but managers use their observations to determine a response from a staff member without ever asking the employee.  Not only was the Guidance Department sure I wouldn’t be interested, but they about fell over when the Selection Committee chose me as one of the finalists.

Those with authority in your organization might only see glimmers of a person’s responsiveness or work output.  From a distance, it might seem to say something to them.  Those who are on the ground more might have a different perspective.  To be sure, there is something quite rich about opening a door for consideration with the individual employee directly.

Simply asking the employee whether he/she is interested in working on this extra project or handling a particular situation has great merit.  The response from the employee might surprise you.  The employee himself/herself might be surprised that you would think to ask.  As a result, work performance could increase or mature.  Understanding that the “company” is watching him/her should motivate, or at least, shock him/her back into right work habits.  The value comes in the results of asking.

If I had not been selected for the RYLA opportunity, I would have been disappointed; however, my disappointment in my high school leadership was greater.  Winning allowed me to shove it in their faces, but it did not remove the fact that they didn’t think it was for me.  What was I showing them?  What about me categorized me as a “just get by” kind of kid?  I had excelled in so much, well, at least in my mind.  The lack of the “ask” opened my eyes to see that my perspective on others’ view of me was flawed.   

Ask your team to step up.  Ask them to engage in special projects.  Ask them to lead a team to accomplish a certain production goal.  Ask them to train others.  Do it clearly and consistently.  Avoid assumptions.  When someone turns you down, then your view is based on fact rather than an assumption.  Allow an employee to own his/her future.  Declining opportunities to lead, to grow, to engage by an employee allows you to determine long-term involvement by that employee.  You can then move on to cultivate those that really want to immerse themselves in service to the organization. 

The “ask” has great value.  Be willing to ask people to engage.  There is nothing wrong with doing so.  Just do not assume the answer first.  Let the adult employee answer for himself/herself.  Actions taken as a result of the answer then have context.

Time After Time

For a brief stint, I worked as a middle school teacher.  Teaching is a wonderful gift and I was delighted to do so.  I found that the most time spent, however, was directed towards items and issues that were not germane to the work I was asked to do.  Over and over again, forms had to be completed, state requirements proven and validated, interviewing with academia, etc.  Please understand that I believe in compliance and in accountability…definitely.  What I struggled with was the amount of time it took and how much time it took away from the students.

In human resources, I have experienced and witnessed a similar phenomenon.  While the distractions may differ, the results are the same.  For example, think about how much time you spend at your desk.  Can’t do it?  How about for the next 7 days, you keep a log (seriously!) as to how much time you are sitting at your desk.  Now, while sitting at your desk is not the enemy, per se, it may show you how much less you’re actually amongst the people you serve. 

And it isn’t just about paperwork either.  I bet it would be amazing for you to log how long you actually spend with a particular person or two each week.  Perhaps it’s all good stuff, but likely, you may have your time taxed by someone that should not have as much time as he/she has been allowed to have.  Think about that employee who “just needs 5 minutes” each day.  We know that 5 becomes 20 in seconds.  If it’s every day, what could you do with an extra hour and 40 minutes each week? 

There are still those time-suckers who want to review something again, complain about something again, have software explained to them again…it’s the same stuff time after time.  Am I insane?  Do I expect a different outcome?  Why do I allow this distraction to take me away from serving the larger population?  Stop the madness…you cannot get that time back.  Make decisions about the wasting of time.  If someone cannot handle the work they’ve been given, then get them out of that role.  If the same process isn’t getting the results needed, then put the effort in to change the process so you can be free from the hamster wheel.  Make the change.

I am not making light of responsibilities.  I know that form completion matters.  I know that one-on-one chats have to happen.  I know that your CEO will walk into your office and eat an hour of time.  I know.  Is that every day?  Is it keeping you from the objectives you’ve set?

Time will keep moving on.  Those goals you have for 2014 have a smaller window for completion.  We’re about 9.5 months into the year.  Can you accomplish those goals you set for the people of your organization in these last couple of months?  If so, maybe those goals weren’t so stretching after all?

Are you allowing busyness and distraction to keep you from what you’re to do?  My words are easy to type.  The action of leaving your office for a time and closing the door behind you might be a discipline that you have to employ.  Be with the people.  Learn processes.  Watch cultural interaction.  Those components will make you a better HR person, a better business partner, a better worker.  You will be energized, enlightened…more alive!  Take back your time.

Everyday I Write the Book

Executives are pressured to be budget-minded while increasing sales and productivity.  “Do more with less” is the banner many are forced to hold high while walking across the customer service area or the down the manufacturing line.  The pressure of expanding territory, managing the brand(s), and keeping talent in the building require complicated maneuvering.  While begging, pleading and groveling tend to be our default posture, we can really choose differently and with a better chance for lasting effect.

A detailed, passionate plan is necessary for a Human Resources professional to be engaged in the business process.  We have to sit down and create an action plan with both pre- and post-process details.  This may very well be a daily process.  There are moving parts and market fluctuations that cannot be depended on to remain static.  The dynamic nature of our commerce requires us to be nimble and adaptable.  Write and review processes everyday.  Grab your coffee (or latte or Oprah Chai Tea or whatever it is you like today).

Pre-Process:

• Where are the pain points of the company?
• How did it get this way?  What has to change?
• What are the expectations for the company as described by the Executive team?
• Who should be handling certain components of the process?  When can I sit with them to review?

Post-Process:

• What elements were accomplished?  What’s working well?
• Where are there still missing pieces? Who is addressing those needs?  How?
• Who is/was unable to handle the responsibilities given?  Time for change?

These questions can be drilled down more, but the general idea is to challenge yourself to answer them.  Sit down ahead of time with the pre-process list of questions and write down answers.  When we answer them in our heads only, it’s often the case that’s where they’ll stay.  Write the answers; from these answers, an action plan is created.  This is not an exercise in accountability only, but also in planning with purpose. 

Our companies are in need of dynamic resources to handle the mandate of “more with less.”  I don’t see this trend changing anytime soon.  The fear of finances around tax increases, ACA compliance and global military activity is real and impacts markets.

Listen, for those of you still holding onto hope that you’ll be allowed to fill that job requisition for additional help in your department…let it go.  Don’t depend on it.  It’s been two years.  The company is not bringing on another HR Generalist for you.  Be creative, be industrious, but don’t be stupid.  If the answer is that next quarter might look better and we’ll see then, give it up.  Work with what you have; just work it stronger and with real expectations.  I have had the opportunity to sit with HR departments who regale me with the plans they have for an additional person they’ll eventually be allowed to have.  In the meantime, though, that list of work and plans sits dormant waiting for that person.  Why?

Meet with the executive team to determine the fiscal expectations of the company for the next 6 months.  Then take that understanding and create the process list for pre-, during and post-.  Assign roles, speak to the cultural leadership needed and provide timelines.  Yes, hold people accountable, including yourself, but do it based upon a clearer understanding of the expectations of the company’s financial strategy. 

Oh yea, for those of you reading this who are saying, “no one on the executive team shares this with HR,” then figure out how to make them.  Give them the business case for HR’s involvement.  Show them what you know how to do.  Let them see the resources you have ready to go once you know where you’re going.  Of all people, HR seems to know how to do more with less.  We’ve done it for decades.