Colour My World

Know your audience.  I can’t tell you how many times that advice has come out of my mouth.  Very often, people get too comfortable too fast.  Quick rapport development is an appealing quality, to be sure, but not at the sacrifice of the demeanor of the formation.

Lots of locker room talk consideration over the past couple of weeks in light of the Donald Trump hot mic bus recordings being released.  He and Billy Bush quickly established a “buddy” relationship.  And while, the majority of response has been to condemn the words along with sentiment and systemic treatment of women, it would be unwise to consider it in such a small context.  Trump’s words have been repeated in locker rooms since I was old enough to change for gym class right up through board rooms since I was experienced enough to have an executive role. 

Period movies and television shows from the 50’s and early 60’s show the dichotomy of family life and business life.  The male character is a member of the 1^st Baptist or Presbyterian church in town with his wife and kids; they raise their kids to be good Americans, respectful students and to be seen and not heard.  At work, that same male may participate in an affair with his secretary, in shady business dealings to undercut another within the company, and in drinks at 3PM to discuss work and women with his boss.  Very stereotypical, I know, but much of the content and context in those period dramas.

Our audience is no longer known by look alone.  White boys chatting it up about a woman’s anatomy and ability to score isn’t an inclusive strategy for corporate culture.  You cannot make a decision just based upon look as our workplace is no longer a homogeneous pool.  And further, those who do look the same as you aren’t necessarily coming from the same background as you.  It’s a whole new world.  And whether it’s Donald Trump on a bus or Bill Clinton on a golf course, any commentary based upon those assumptions is more than unwise; it’s deadly to our culture.

In the small kingdoms we manage in our workplaces, we may not be able to change the world, but we can influence one sphere.  Of course, the liability around harassment is evident.  It’s not okay to allow language that demeans and cheapens another, whether based on sex, race, religion, medical history, orientation or age, to permeate a workplace.  It’s illegal, if not federally, then likely on a state level.  You have a responsibility to protect the company you represent.  Work for change to minimize such liability.

And yet, as people we may have a deeper responsibility than merely the law.  What are we telling the future about us?  Our ability to engage at this level is just what a role in management and in human resources should be focused upon.  Process improvement, sales objectives and growth planning are necessary and the core duty for some of you.  Don’t disregard those needs.  Yet, those strategies and duties can be offered in a better context. 

The drum beating for employee engagement is loud.  To what are we asking them to engage?  Our company?  OK.  So, what is our company like?  Do you really want them to be engaged in and to it?  Think of it as you might a romantic relationship.  As things progress, your love interest gets to see your quirks about washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.  This person, also, experiences you more fully, warts and all.  That relationship will likely require you to change some things – maybe you need to make the bed, to put your dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, to throw out your porn.  Whatever you need to do, you may do to make the environment for your relationship bloom and grow more. 

Those same considerations at the workplace should occur (If you have porn at the workplace…yikes.  Let’s talk offline).  What is the willingness of the executive team to sacrifice to allow the relationship of the company and its employees to bloom and grow?  If it’s locker room talk that needs to be addressed, then let it go.  Don’t make excuses for it.  Uncover biases and systemic limiters, and then remove them.  Inclusivity is a popular term, and a respectable one, but to what are we including people?  Once they see it, they may not want to be included.  What a sad possibility.  But it’s correctable.

It’s important to remember that this is not about politics.  That may have been the most recent context we’re seeing, but it’s not the only environment where such a lack of care about people is evident.  Our workplaces may be run by locker room talking, “real housewives” attitude-mongering, bulldozing leaders.  Confront it.  Categorizing people or a person in an unhealthy or demeaning manner is unacceptable.  Act upon it and work for change.

My life is full of strong women, Christians, disabled individuals, gay men, multi-cultural heritages and races.  I like them each individually.  And though I may look like you, please don’t come to me to share in a negative view or a demeaning approach regarding any of them or what they “represent.”  It’s not funny.  

More Than Words

Rating people is tough when you've got to put it on paper.  It's one thing to talk about someone, especially when behind his/her back.  So-and-so stinks at such-and-such a task.  But if you're in charge of reviewing someone, those words matter as they translate onto a page.  Ask yourself about context as much as content.

When Lucy and Ethel go to work in that classic chocolate-making production episode, their rating was pretty poor.  They over-exaggerated their abilities, they could not keep up with the line, they ate product while working and they tried to cover up their errors.  They were fired on their first day.  

From a television rating perspective, this episode started Season 2 with a bang.  It capitalized off of the ground-breaking work of the first season and set the tone for television sitcoms for decades to come, to this day.  The ratings for their work was at the highest levels.

So how do you give thought around context in order to frame the content?  A relevant evaluative process is more likely to give credibility to the results in the eyes of the employee, even when those results are less than excellent. 

Tactical - What is the hands on level of engagement into the organization's health?  Look at how the employee puts his/her time and talents into the company.  And, then be able to point to the result of such tactics.  Is there an organizational influence?  And while business bottom-line is the easiest metric to use, it limits our view.  For example, a survey might reveal that most employees feel comfortable in the workplace.  Find out why.  It may be because the front desk receptionist greets everyone warmly and genuinely.  It might be that he/she acknowledges others specifically for achievements, birthdays, tough times, etc. That person contributes to organizational health, despite the lack of a straight line to net profits.  That person has a line.  Look harder.

Experiential - How has the employee involved himself/herself in the company?  What have they experienced, either voluntarily or involuntarily?  Consider both causes.  Just because someone volunteers to do something, doesn't mean it was good for anyone involved (and yes, you can fire someone from a volunteer role...).  Maybe there are new processes initiated by an employee's willingness to try.  As such, they've been added to a workflow or perhaps replaced a previous workflow.  But just as important, maybe an employee rallied his/her department to participate in a walk for a particular disease-fighting organization.  Those experiences should not be lost if they don't fit into a clean bucket for the company's review pattern.  Go back to considering what those experiences have done for the organization.

Emotional - Odd, right?  We have so many emotionally-stunted people working in our industries that it's important to think through this.  Listen, hugs and kisses aren't what's really meant by emotional (although, I have been a good receiver of that type of love for years...don't stop!).  Emotion is tied to communication, critical thinking and behavior.  Do they not matter in a consideration of performance?  There is a great deal of teasing regarding millennials and their lack of consistent approach. "There's a stop sign ahead, but if you don't feel that the stop sign applies to you, then do what you think you should do.  Don't stop if you don't feel you should.  It's okay."  That perspective is not exclusive to one generation.  I still talk to some 60 year-old business executives who haven't figured out emotional health and they struggle to connect well with staff.  That's not good for business.

Social - How has community been fostered by this employee?  So many companies talk about how they're a family.  That invokes an employee's context about family.  What if my family is a bunch of narcissistic, inconsiderate, selfish jerks? (This is just an example, it's not a reflection on anyone in my family so please, Mom, don't text me and send me angry-faced emojis).  The consideration should be about fostering supportive, interpersonal relationships for the movement of the organization and for the building up of others.  Look at how an employee engages with his/her teammates.  Speak to dynamism, collaboration and group ingenuity.  That takes risk for each employee willing to be engaged at that level and we should be mindful of that healthy impact.

Of course, I know, that you have a performance review form that has many more areas to consider. But maybe, those other areas should be considered in this expanded context.  Haven't you heard, "But you don't know" from employees defending themselves from a manager's perspective?  Sure you have.  So, why is it that we don't know?  Looking holistically as well as specifically takes time, I get it, but it's the best way to consider talent.

Quite frankly, we don't have an never-ending supply of ready-to-wear talent. This type of consideration will enhance how we can better setup our staff for success through skill development, knowledge management and attitude improvement while reducing our turnover.  

If your manager sat with you to review your performance and began to share a limited view of your impact, you would want to say, "But you don't know."  Think about your staff saying that to you and be ready to offer the fuller context in light of the above areas.  Let them know that you do know.

Creep

The challenge of negativity isn’t new.  We fight it everyday.  When we are faced with it, what is our normal response?  Walk away?  Join in?  Yikes.

Kit, the pitcher in A League of Their Own, is negative throughout most of the movie.  Manufacturing sympathy for her is tough.  She is a whiner.  She brings down those around her.  She is frustrated with the sister who seems to have everything.  She is obnoxious to her teammates.  She is negative about her life and wants to bring others down around her.

Think about how critical the pitcher is to the team.  What does it do to the team to have someone like this at the mound?  How many of these people work with or for us?  And while you might want to fight this person, just as happens in one scene of the movie, work policy is likely to prohibit you from doing so. 

Confrontation is appropriate.  You do not need to allow this person to monopolize your time or to jeopardize the flow of the rest of the team due to such negativity.  It is not okay.

Make the business case first.  Log the hours given in support of this negative person, to try to move him/her beyond the perceived issues.  Log the hours given in support of correction of the frustrated team communication.  Log the hours given in conversation with other team members who struggle to work with that negative person.  Those hours have a cost, with very little ROI. 

Often the pattern for a manager is to have all of these conversations, but the functional team dynamic remains the same.  The cycle of engagement is not impacted and the status quo returns a day after addressing the issue.  Management does little usually to course-correct the department.  The symptom gets address – frustration, lack of communication, hurt feelings – but the cause – the negativity of a person – is left because we don’t know what to do.

Sit with Mr./Ms. Negative and share the logged hours.  Show him/her how much time has been spent because of him/her.  Let the time be a factual example that the behavior has caused.  You’re not saying the classic, “I spend so much time dealing with your stuff.”  That’s too general and will likely cause the negative employee to be remorseful for a moment but with no lasting repercussion.  When management is specific to the time, a line can be drawn in the sand to say enough.

A manager should further make the business case regarding lack of productivity.  In all of the hours spent by the manager in dealing with the situations caused by the negativity, rest assured it’s about the same for the team members involved.  They are not on task because of having to address the related issues of the negativity.  And every member of the team is valuable.  It should be very easy to show the negative employee that the team is not here to deal with these issues; it’s not part of their job description.  The cost of lost productivity is real and can be shared as an amount based upon time, hourly rate, cost of goods, and other operational & production costs.  

Giving the negative person truth and fact is the most respectful way to engage.  It will allow the conversation to move away from feeling, which is the default position, and rest purely on fact.  Management must engage on a level that moves the negative person out of his/her own perspective and into one that includes the company’s purpose.  Often, the negative individual sees his/her role as unappreciated at the company.  By sharing factual information, the negative person is offered a different (and more correct) view of how the company sees him/her.  When confronted with such information, management can be deliberate about the path of engagement moving forward.

Management will need to follow through on this.  If we’re serious that the waste of time is enough, then we must act upon that.  No more resources of time, team members and operational productivity will be wasted on such negativity.  Everything isn’t terrible, everything isn’t against you and everything isn’t about you.  Clearly act on this.

And while management may feel that the negative person is too tough to handle, a better view is to think about the team members that aren’t receiving such attention despite the great work being done.  The squeaky wheel getting the grease isn’t a long-term strategy for success.  Affirm the right behaviors more than the wrong; look at the time you’re spending on the wrong and make corrections.

Keep in mind, too, that this negative person can follow the path that Kit did.  She got traded.  Don’t wait too long to trade your Kit.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

There are almost 92,000 books being sold on Amazon.com right now that contain the word "happy" in the title.  This does not necessarily include all of the books that are actually about happiness.  Nor the ones that are about satisfaction, contentment or peace.  

#WorkHuman was a conference recently held by +Globoforce in Orlando. And while it was a conference founded upon recognition thoughts and strategies, there was a push towards happiness that I found refreshingly interesting.

From a scientific approach, the concept of happiness was explored by Shawn Achor.  What benefit is there to happiness in the workplace?  Of course, we would rather people be happy than sad at work.  It's not likely that any of us looks to see a line of sad people outside of our door that we need to convert to happy ones.  However, there is something to be said about our ability to promote a happier culture.  +JetBlue VP of People Michael Elliott shared how it's the job of HR, for example, to sell the success stories of the company.  Preach the ways we shine.  We have an opportunity to support the core values and encourage the mission of our organizations through a pursuit of happiness.

Consider, however, the concept of joy.  Happiness tends to be an emotional consideration, and while there are fuller perspectives, joy is more of a state of being.  What can we do to foster this level of consideration?  How can pursuing the right perspective of such a state of being impact workplace culture?

• Where does the joy come from? - Look for ways to push those around us to consider self-awareness.  Not necessarily in the metaphysical sense, but think of it in light of the wellness and mindfulness initiatives available to us.  Grounding people is a gift.  Very often, we get ensnared by the busyness of our roles.  We need to motivate ourselves to do our work because it's an expression of who we are.  Look to align the joy being cultivated in you around the functional roles of existence.  If it's out of line, you'll sense it clearly.  Adjust this in a timely manner and, then, recalibrate.
• What can the joy do for others? - In addition to the ways joy brings a stability to self, the joy one has can serve as a beacon to those looking to secure their own.  Reflecting the active nature of joy will inspire others, but will be done as a genuine by-product.  Manufacturing a trite or programmatic approach to this will be apparent to others observing, and the initiative will fail.  The honesty that joy gives is infectious and truthful.  There is something so attractive about someone who is naturally full of joy.  If you have known someone like this, think about how he/she made you feel.  Don't hide the joy at work; live it fully and others will observe it.
• What will work be like in light of joy? - A study in Britain showed that providing happiness outlets, even in small doses, could increase productivity by as much as 12%.  12%?!  Think about that.  That could be tens of thousands to hundreds of millions for our companies.  Amazing to think that encouraging happiness could lead to such results.  And the feeling of happiness leads to an openness to joy, contentment and satisfaction.  When workplaces cultivate this type of depth, talent does not look to leave as willingly, especially those who've worked in other environments.  There will be a great appeal to remain connected and committed to who and what the company is.

None of this is meant to cover up the difficulties that come along with living.  Sickness, financial strain, divorce, death...all of this and more vie for our attention and steal our joy.  We should not look to be smiling idiots or attempt to gloss over the pain that others might have.  We're still people, People!  

The thoughts here are reflective of the measurable affect that happiness can bring to the workplace.  While at this conference, +The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research founder was on-hand to share his perspective on life.  To hear someone who could have become rather bitter and jaded at the unfairness of life, share that he loves his life, is humbling.  The gripes about work - the amount to do, the managers that annoy and the lack of variety of coffee flavors - find a better context and become minimized in light of such a perspective.  Michael J. Fox shared his heart and his joy.  The lesson for all of us is to do the same.

You Don't Own Me

It's not likely to be news that words have power.  They have power to alter behavior, influence change, lead a revolution and cause the deepest kinds of pain possible.  As professionals, we might forget that people still are impacted by words.  Perhaps we've taken to bending the truth in our conversations to either soften the blow or paint a better picture of things so that employees don't lose heart.  While there are a couple of studies that try to prove the value of lying, there are more that point to honest transparency as the beneficial route.  Whatever the reasons might be, our words matter.  

Have you seen the little girl telling her dad a lie about what happened to Barbie (and why?).  You must!  Amazing insight into our DNA.  We're not taught how to lie; it's a natural phenomenon for us.  We just do it in order to avoid trouble, deflect attention or save our skin.  Truth is easily replaced by a lie.  Consider the countless times people get pulled over.  Think everyone tells the cop the truth?  Or even playing the "I was speeding? I had no idea. Oh my gosh," when you know full well that you were flooring it.  Some of us give Oscar-worthy performances!

Fear is a huge motivator of our words.  What would it mean if an HR Manager said that he/she didn't know something that's HR related?  It shouldn't be a shock, but fear might stand in the way of that HR Manager being honest.  He/She might be afraid of looking weak or not-as-experienced as a supervisor would expect.  And so, if we are backed into a corner with our fear, we might lie.  We might say we know something.  We might say we have done a certain task.  We might offer perspective as if we've been there-done that.  All of it is dishonest.  And now those lies have to be built upon as time goes on.  Those lies own you.

Organizational health functions best in honesty.  When staff know that the words of the leaders are real, the response is genuine.  In late 2008, when the economy in the US fell due to the housing crisis, company leaders sat with their employees to let them know what was going on.  In some of those conversations, layoffs were presented as a viable option to save money.  The response from many employees was to keep everyone and just reduce every employee's hours.  They understood what was happening, why it was happening, and based upon the honest dialogue from leadership, volunteered a plan of action.  While the stress of the economics was real and cannot be denied, there was health in the approach to all get into the same boat and hold on.

It is important to note that no one is alone in this.  In some ways, we've helped create a culture of untruth.  Our fantasies are affirmed more than our realities.  We have allowed our leadership to be untrustworthy for a long while.  Just looking at our political landscape reflects such a position. Our role as management, as leaders, is to break the cycle.  I am not naive to think that this will mean open doors for everything with full disclosure.  Quite frankly, there are details that are not for the world to know.  This is not dishonest if it's shared just that way...."Here's what I can tell you and understand there are some parts that I cannot offer much detail due to (confidentiality, a matter of law, unsettled circumstances, etc.)"

We have one another to stand with in our doubt, in our lack of knowledge and in our fear. It's okay to not know something.  That's the beauty of asking our community, of attending seminars and workshops, of developing friendships with managers from other companies.  We can't know it all, and we have to be okay to say so.  Honestly, I know for myself and some others who've shared with superiors where our difficulties were, we were not fired.

Perhaps, you find this whole topic puzzling or amateur.  Fine, but the reality is that there is enough fear pushing a lack of truth in our workplaces.  If it's not you, it may be someone working for you.  Do our staff feel that they can say what they don't know without fear of reprisal?  Are they apt to lie?  How can we cultivate a different environment?

In HR, we see people lie often.  It's sad, but true.  We read resumes containing experiences that never occurred.  We hear from employees in a disciplinary situation covering their butts.  We hear executives tell us that everyone will keep their jobs as a result of a merger.  It is all around us.  We can push for a more honest culture by being an example first.

Caught Up

You know when you walk into your place and you see your significant other in a compromising position with your roommate.  And then you stop in your tracks with your jaw dropped until you see that one of them has gotten a bracelet caught in the sweater of the other.  And then you understand the context of the situation.  And it's not so bad.  That hasn't happened to you?  Well, you could just as easily find Three's Company on demand and watch any episode.

The specifics of the situation may change but the overall issue remains the same.  On Three's Company, the plotline was the same - some misunderstanding (usually of a sexual or relational nature), followed by a poor response, an awkward reveal of the truth, and then, reconciliation.  The core issue was mistrust, but the situations that revealed it changed.  

In our organizations, we might find ourselves facing the same circumstances.  There is a core issue at hand that seems to reveal itself in what appear to be unconnected situations.  In actuality, they are absolutely connected.  I recently was with some HR pros who were addressing an issue that had come up a few times previously.  The situation was presented newly, but the core issue remained the same.  And what we do in HR often does not push the envelope towards addressing the core issue.  HR tends to seek peace as its goal.  We'll just hurry up and find a quick solution to the situation, rather than the issue, and hope that it doesn't come up again or that the person who continues to pick at the issue leaves the organization.  This is not managing the situation effectively.

What we can do is take the posture of dialogue to reveal the core issue.  Allow the conversation to move beyond the buzz of cliched approaches with which we get caught up - we need to manage this change better, we need to assess our strengths so we know if we've got the right people on the bus, we need to have an outing so that we can unify our team.  Listen, those things can be great, but if the core issue is lack of trust, then none of those recommendations, along with a thousand others like it, won't work.  It will serve as confirmation, in some cases, as to why the mistrust is there.  Cliques, suspicion and faux-enthusiasm become obstacles heaped upon an already tough set of circumstances.

Consider sitting in a room and simply asking, "Who wants to be here?"  What if we start with that?  What if we push the conversation around why people don't want to be there?  In some cases, there's so much damage in the history book that someone might not be motivated to meet in the middle.  If that's the case, then an organization can just keep pouring good resources towards resolution that will never come.  If someone wants out, then sometimes that's the best answer.  There is not going to be a pretty bow around it and that person may not speak well of you or the organization upon departure.  Honestly, oh, well.  

Learn the lesson from that situation and understand that the core issue still needs to be addressed with those remaining.  Call it out.  Put it on the table.  Have an honest dialogue about it and understand that all parties might not see the same circumstance through the same lens.  Embrace it, as frustrating as it might be, and ask good questions as to how to handle the core issue.  It's not about dying on the hill of circumstances, but rather fighting to get back to giving others the benefit of the doubt.  As a team, we have to encourage that, but we have to do it from the core, not the surface.

Some of us need to wake up and take stock of the issues in our organizations.  Stop pretending they aren't there, that they'll go away or that it's someone else's problem.  Our job is to address and provide the forum for dialogue, healing and growth moving forward.  We lay out expectations on both sides for moving this forward.  We don't accept everyone's stubbornness; we don't bow to fear.  We don't allow one thing to be said in our meetings and then another to be said at the cubicles.  We push for honesty, grace and truth.  

Listen, I recognize how hard this can be in some of our companies.  I know that there is entrenched organizational un-health and the unwilling spirits of employees.  But, I also know that there will only be repeat episodes of Three's Company as long as nothing is done to get to the core issue.  And those episodes will play without a laugh track. 

Are You Gonna Go My Way?

Labeling is an easy skill for most of us.  Our minds have been trained to categorize and label people, things and places.  There are schemata filling the schema in our brains.  In other words, files filling file cabinets in our minds with connections and definitions.  It's why you might smell something, good or bad, and connect it to a memory, a place, a person or a time.  We label.

For those of you re-watching episodes on MeTV of "Happy Days" (or maybe watching them for the first time), you know that the coolest guy on the earth in the 1970's was Arthur Fonzarelli, aka Fonzie.  Initially labeled a juvenile delinquent, Fonzie rose to show a deeper character and a true coolness.  When an organization that worked with kids with who suffered serious abuse and were emotional stifled came to the attention of director Garry Marshall, he wanted Fonzie to alter the label of super-cool a bit.  When Fonzie cried in one episode, and those kids watched it, the result was an open door for that agency to help those kids.  They were ready to emote since Fonzie did.

The labeling takes over rather quickly, however.  We decide who is a jerk, who is nice, who is conceited, who is fake, who is a wimp.  We connect people into categories and then treat the group in that category in the same manner.  We respond singularly, for example, to someone who is mean.  For some of us, we retreat from such a person.  For others, we look to engage and rip apart that person.  It's a sport - the art of the run and the art of the fight.  We all travel the scale and, for some of us, we have to manage people on the same scale.

Our involvement in the label movement is an everyday contribution.  When we treat our employees in a responsive manner rather than at the level we want them to operate, we display our commitment to the label rather than the person.  To be sure, there are jerks.  Of course, those jerks might not be long for their employment.  Yet, even if they are  to be with you for a short time, let's engage them in a way that calls them to greatness rather than meets them in their jerkiness.

As you think about how you're reacting, consider these thoughts:

• Check your tone - are you sharper with a particular person than others?  Is your label of that person the reason for the difficulty in communication?
• Re-read emails before you send them - when tone is hard to know, as it is in emails, it means that a bit more time should be spent re-reading prior to send.  You may be giving shade, even unintentionally, by doors you've left open for interpretation of words (and, yes, I said "shade").
• Examine distribution of work  - are you sharing types of work as well as the amount of work equally, based upon skill sets alone?  Or are you giving the crappy work only to the employee you've labeled negatively?
• Rotate opportunities to lead - Allow staff to take turns leading various meetings, training sessions or projects.  By rotating the team leader, you are sure that you're negative slant towards someone isn't getting in the way of job expectations and opportunities.

If you're thinking, "I would never let So-And-So lead a meeting or be in charge of a specific type of work", that's fine.  I would just ask back, "Well, then, why is he/she still working at the company?"  If the basis work of work isn't being met that you've uniformly given, then the employment of that person should end.  The work is the reason a person is hired.  

Bear in mind, too, that people might just sometimes surprise you.  The jerk could let his/her guard down and show you how wonderful he/she is.  The wimp might find his/her courage due to the way you're running the department.  The fake might become the most authentic person on your team as he/she learns that skill sets and work product matter more than the facade portrayed.  If Fonzie can cry, then any of these changes could happen. Heyyyyy...

Piece By Piece

Recognition has become a discipline within HR.  It is the art of providing or delivering attention to someone for a particular accomplishment.  It could be about the achievement of a specific goal or to mark a milestone within the organization.  It is valuable and provides proof that the company sees what its employees are doing and, sometimes, for the way in which those actions benefit the organization.

Of course, if someone works on a project for six months and it turns out great, it's very nice to be recognized for having finished the work well.  There is a benefit to those who see how the achievement of their work matters.  Connectivity is very important and it allows the performer to see how action produces real results, per person, piece by piece.  All of the cogs on the wheel are fantastically connected.  It's a great picture and the recognition factor drives it home.

Is that it?  

Long are the conversations regarding felt needs and reward.  Do we merely offer a plaque, a gift card, a weekend away and check off the box of recognition?  When dealing with real people with real baggage and real emotion living real lives, providing inauthentic trinkets may not pack the punch hoped for by the organization.  And what can often happen is that companies become bitter towards recognition because they sense an ungrateful response by employees.  What was meant to be a motivator becomes an open sore of tension pushing division.

As practical as we ought to be in HR (don't get me started on the value of business acumen and metrics, people!), we cannot swing the pendulum so far that we forget the people we are trying to serve.  Consider the concept of restorative recognition.  This is the kind of recognition that knows where people are, what makes them tick, what their circumstances are and then rewards them in the context of a real situation.  The deficiencies in their lives may not all be met, but we're providing appropriate levels of engaged recognition that we know will touch upon it.

The Make a Wish Foundation is magical because for years it has provided terminally ill children with the opportunity to have their greatest wish granted.  From going to a prom to meeting the President to being Batman for a day, the stories have touched the hearts of those precious children, of their parents and families and of the millions who watch the stories unfold.  It affects the heart.  

An employee who is struggling to pay for a child's college education is a real need.  We can know that.  Handing that employee a gift card for Macy's as a reward for an achieved goal or milestone is not going to solve the need of paying for college.  Nor is the point to give them $5000 as the reward in order to meet that need.  Think.  Be creative.  What would it mean to that employee to be recognized for the work he/she did that met the criteria for reward by handing him/her proof of monies being deposited into his/her child's college campus account for textbook purchases or towards the meal plan?  It's thoughtful.  It's given in light of knowing your employees.  It's an absolute way of endearing employees to the organization even more.

Think I'm crazy?  Get in line.  The point is that we can know these things about our staff and make a choice to recognize in restorative ways.  People carry around burdens and dreams.  Practically, we can't grant wishes all day, nor do we have the budget to do so.  Yet, we can use our imaginations and creativity to do something more than rummaging through a drawer in our office to find an Amazon gift card for a giveaway.

How many of your staff didn't get to go on a honeymoon?  How many haven't been able to take their spouse out due to a lack of affordable child care?  How many dreamed to be a professional baseball player?  How many trained as a dancer all throughout their childhood and have no opportunity to fit it into life now?  Now, be creative.  Work with a vendor partner to secure a weekend or an overnight to a bed and breakfast.  Work with a local certified and approved child care service provider for one night of child care (and throw an Uber and dinner in).  Get tickets to a baseball game and work with the event staff to throw some confetti on the employee to celebrate the Home Run Hitter he/she is at work.  Provide a six-week dance class to the employee that can happen after work in an open space right in the building.

These aren't all of the solutions.  They may be none in your particular case, but the point is that restorative recognition goes a long way to show that our involvement is thoughtful and done as a result of knowing our people.  As said earlier, connectivity is very important and it allows the performer to see how action produces real results, per person, piece by piece.  By doing this in a tailored manner, we cut to the soul of our people as well as of ourselves.  As a blubberer myself, I can tell you that when we're this thoughtful, people are moved and the tears flow.  

Get those creative juices flowing and know that people need more than a crystal pyramid with their name engraved.  That isn't likely to hit them deeply, but tickets to a concert of the one performer they've never had the chance to see before will.  Because you took the time to know them.  Because the company is invested in its employees.  Because we're building community.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Is it really?  I heard a woman severely curse off a Walmart Customer Service representative, while the woman’s 2 year-old child was in tow listening to every word.  I have had quite a few people tell me this is the worst time of year.  I have seen more than the usual amount of birds being flipped out of car windows on the highway.  And I have observed a toddler lose their mind on the streets of NYC because his mother wouldn’t buy him the toy he needed.  Ah, the holidays.

And when I walk through the halls of companies, I see employees devoid of emotion going through the task-management of the holiday season with no connection to one another or to the joy of the season.  I see managers with scowls, associates with the faintest hint of a fake smile and HR people stressed out of their minds due to W2’s, ACA 1095’s, compliance reporting, labor law updates, minimum wage changes and the list goes on.

Know what I say?  Enjoy the time.  Embrace the thrill of the season.  Go to a department store or mall and watch the little kids excitedly get on Santa’s lap.  Find those who have not yet been jaded by life and have learned to hate this time.  Change the vantage point you’re working from.

True followers of behavioral modification will tell you that change happens now.  Just make the change, that’s the easy part.  Stop with the frown and get on with the smile.  And yet, the trick in behavioral modification is sustainability.  What can be done to keep behavior changed?  How does the decision I’ve made today last longer than just today?

For all people, it comes down to the same decision being made every day.  Today may be the first day, but there are more days to consider and decide on.  I know for me that today has enough troubles of its own, so I don’t need to travel too far down the road of what might be in days to come.  Focus on today first.  What am I doing and why?

For those with real pain that seems to pierce the veil during the holiday season, I hear you.  Take courage because there are many in the same boat.  Find each other and decide to be a reason for joy for him/her.  Look for ways to serve others and watch how much the burden lifts from you.  It’s not idealistic; it’s psychological. 

My friend +Steve Browne often speaks of being positive in HR.  One of the best ways to do it is to foster deliberate and simple steps to think differently.  We don’t have to have our Master’s degrees or 300 letters after our names to be able to affect change in thought and dynamic.  We have to inspire others to make healthy decisions for themselves and, in turn, for the organization.  Our culture is impacted greatly by such an attitude in staff.

When I watch “Elf” each season, I am always struck by the forced conformity placed upon Buddy by his father and the world around him.  His overly enthusiastic self is asked to be buttoned down into a suit and tie.  He rebels, puts back on the elf suit and reconnects with Santa.  The rebellion is based upon a decision.  He decides to return to the positivity of what he knows.  We, too, have the choice to return to the positivity of what we know.  You're always going to have a new law to adhere to; we always do so don't stress.  Get the elf suit on and enjoy this time of year!

I Fought the Law

Try to watch “Law and Order” as if you’ve never seen an episode before.  Pretend like those two Bum-Bumps are the first time you’ve heard them.  It’s fascinating to watch the entire hour and see how the two detectives process the investigation which typically leads to the court case.  I used to watch the original “Law and Order” religiously.  Yes, I know that there are SVU, CI, SUV and hybrid versions, but I was a fan of the original.  The course of action taken by the detectives is methodical, a bit stale and thorough, but it works.

For the employee who comes to the HR department with a complaint, inquiry or charge, there is an expectation for answers and investigation.  HR loves the answers, but perhaps to a fault.  Our ability to provide solution to the complaint may not really handle the issue at hand.  The employee can feel his/her issue has been minimized as he/she leaves your office (or cubicle area or working table or Segway mobile office).  Are we satisfied with just an “answer” or do we need to spend time trying to understand where this issue comes from?

Honestly, there are times that a simple answer is all that is needed.  Let’s not make a mountain out of molehill.  If someone comes to complain about not being off for Arbor Day, that may be a very quick conversation.  Something like, “I’m sorry that you’d like the company to be closed for Arbor Day, but if you have PTO available to you, perhaps you could plan on using some in order to spend time planting trees to honor the day.”  Smile sincerely and usher them out.  Close the door and reflect on why you’ve chosen the career you have.  After a few minutes, you’ll be back at it!

But what about the ones that take a bit more?  If an employee asks about hours not paid on a paycheck, then perhaps a quick look at the time system, finding where the data was corrupt or not transferred into payroll will prevent the occurrence in the future.  Perhaps there is a bit of management training needed.  Perhaps the employee needs a reminder on the time clock.  Perhaps it’s a one-time Gremlin in the system.  All it would take is a little bit of research mixed with a little bit of conversation and/or training.

And then, there are the ultimate investigations, such as harassment, discrimination or theft.  A process for this investigation should be in place.  What will it take for the company to handle the claims presented?  Is there a path to follow?  No? 

There are components of good investigation that are universal.  Try to work within a flow of process in those components in order to gather the information needed.  An investigation is serious and it does require professionalism in approach.  If you are the HR person who would lead or conduct the investigation, have you established yourself in the company as someone capable of such work?  If you’ve been relegated or allowed yourself to be relegated to the party-planning HR person or the gossip-laden HR person, then it’s not likely that you’ll gather all of the data necessary in your investigation.

Staff may not be able to draw a line between the “Buddy HR” person and the “Detective HR” person you’re trying to be.  That is a tall order.  As such, determine whether outside help might be needed.  Does your process allow for this possibility?  Between the HR role played, the characters in the investigation and the subject matter involved, an outside expert might be the most beneficial for the organization.  Be okay with letting someone in.  It’s not about dirty laundry but about ascertaining the truth and finding solution, however difficult that may be.

Be clear, too, in the fact that you will need to speak with others.  When an employee starts his/her complaint to you with “Please don’t say anything, but…”, you can be sure that you’re likely going to need to say something to someone else.  A true investigation will need facts and accounts from all parties named and involved.  Keeping this between us is not possible, let alone the matter of law that may be in play.  Disclosure may be required.  Consult your counsel if you have questions in any of these areas.  Likely an attorney will tell you that you cannot promise to keep what’s shared only between you two.

There are great resources available to you to help with investigation.  Take the time to research and develop a plan prior to needing a plan.  You will be able to approach plan development with less stress and with more clarity of thought.  Talk to your senior team, your counsel, your HR colleagues in other companies, your SHRM group…anyone who has been through developing a process.  Learn from their victories and hiccups.

And while it may not be the wisest to wear a badge around the office as if you’re the cop on duty, you should establish yourself as being an integral part of the investigative process at your company.  Just pin the badge on the inside of your suit coat or sweater.  You can know it’s there.  Bum-Bump.

Apologize

Simple: When you do something wrong, say you’re sorry.  Whether that action was purposeful or accidental, a sincere apology should be offered to those affected by the action(s).  It’s very simple.  Yet, the truth is that it’s hard to do. 

We love to watch others mess up, though, don’t we?  We are outraged at public figures who make mistakes – small and large – and then have to apologize in public ways.  Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Michael Phelps, Ariana Grande, Charlie Sheen, Kanye West, Hope Solo, Mel Gibson, Michael Vick, etc. have all had to do it.  We hunker down to watch TMZ show us all of the dirt that lead to the apology and then listen to interviews of “professionals” who diagnose the apologies offered.  We are sick people.

On an individual basis, we don’t like being wrong.  Usually, it’s because we really don’t think we’re wrong.  We choose to put our efforts into defending our position, outlining the course of events that lead to the repercussions and to bringing up the twelve previous wrongs of the “offended” party.  We’d rather keep the truth of our wrongdoing to ourselves.

Consider this: How many people do you think do wrong things daily?  Even if 75% of those doing wrong do so on purpose, there are still 25% of those who’ve done wrong without intention.  Why should it be hard for 25% of the population to apologize when a mistake is made?  FYI – that would be about 1.75 billion people.  There would be media coverage and interviews due to the buzz of apology.

In our businesses, why is the act of apology disproportionate?  Specifically, why is it difficult to have senior leadership own their shortcomings?  News flash: There are qualified individuals in senior leadership roles who make mistakes.  Think about the first time you held a new position.  Not just with a new company, but the position itself was new to you.  You’d never been a manager before.  A director, a VP, or a CEO before.  It had to be the first time at some point.  Why would anyone think that someone in a new role would get it all right all of the time?  Apologies should be expected to come.

And pride?  Please.  You’re going to make mistakes.  Own them.  Your pride can handle it, and if you think it can’t, you shouldn’t be working where you work, or in the role you have…or with people.  Own it and say you’re sorry.  You cannot really think that you are the first to make an error, do you?  You think because you’re a CEO, you will damage your reputation or status as a leader by owning mistakes?  Think about what you’re doing to your reputation by not owning the mistakes you’ve made.  Everyone knows already; your screw-ups aren’t a secret.

The other side of the coin is not right either.  Don’t you know someone who often begins sentences with, “I’m sorry”?  Stop apologizing for so much.  When you say you’re sorry all of the time, it’s like crying wolf.  It loses its punch and sincerity.  What about when you really need to apologize?  Won’t it seem like every other sentence?

Offering the apology is appropriate when something was done wrong.  Offering the apology is appropriate when something was received wrongly.  Of course your intention is important, but it may not overshadow the way others took what you said/did.  The apology, too, does not negate the consequence that may come from your actions.  It does, however, set the tone for the consequence and it just might allow others to support you more willingly as you travel that road.

You may have noticed that the apology is one-sided.  Offering it does not mean the response you’d like will come.  You may apologize and that offended party may not forgive you.  That is not something you can fix.  The other party may need time, may need to work things out, may never come around.  That’s not your responsibility.  Yours is to genuinely say you’re sorry. 

Our staff and leadership need to know they can make mistakes, offer an apology, correct the errors and choose differently moving forward.  If the same errors keep happening, even though apologies are offered, it might not be the best role for the person.  Repetition is a great teacher both for the individual and the community.  Giving people room to learn means mistakes.  Giving people room to consistently repeat the same mistakes is foolishness. 

Again, saying your sorry is tough.  It’s uncomfortable and awkward.  It’s dynamically opposed to our natural inclination.  It’s a reminder to us that we’re not perfect.  Just remember that we’re all in the same boat.  That will help us to offer the apology from a right frame of reference…and maybe to receive it rightly, too. 

Seasons Change

At one point in my life, I was set to get married.  I guess I should back up to explain better.  I am married and I have three kids – Amazing, Amazing 2 and Amazing 3 (and all are that way due to Queen Amazing).  What I mean to say is that at one point in my life, I was set on marrying someone else.  I started looking at rings.  I thought through how I would ask her.  I dropped hints in conversation with her father.  I had dated this young lady for two years.

And yet, it didn’t happen.  We talked.  We realized that we weren’t where we thought we were.  It was awful.  I felt a bit like Lloyd Dobler – “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.”  Moving on was the right call, however.  Last I heard she was married.  Me, too.  Good for her.

Moving on is a difficult decision.  As business professionals, how do we determine if it’s time to move on?  I don’t mean just for ourselves, but for those on our teams, too.  For some employees it is easy to see.  Obnoxious behavior mixed with poor work performance.  SEE YA!  It is a simple conversation.  For others, it might be a matter of observation of their buy-in, their spirit, their passion.  Has all of that waned?  Is it being forced?  Are the conversations less fun, only business?  The work might be getting done, but the heart is no longer connected?  Tough call, right?

Surely, the first measure is to have an honest conversation with that person.  Ask good questions about satisfaction, purpose, connection, environment.  Draw out perspective and emotion.  Many of our teammates want to be asked.  The first couple of minutes may be awkward but plow through it.  The fruit of such conversations can alter the fabric of the company.  And sometimes, a trip to Mood is warranted (yes, I watch Project Runway, so?).

However, let’s say that these conversations illicit none of the magic hoped for.  What then?  Go back to the job description.  Is the person doing what he/she is to do?  Does the job description accurately reflect the KSA’s needed?  If collaboration, for example, is needed to do the work and it is not on the JD, then update it.  This will allow for truer dialogue around the duties rather than just a sense of disconnect.  Be mindful, though, to not make the JD too person-specific.  If Joe usually makes the coffee for the office in the morning and he stops doing so, and you sense something is wrong, I wouldn’t change his JD to include coffee preparation (unless he is a Barista).  Look only at the core duties for the role and what is needed to perform it well.

Sometimes, people need a conversation to cause them to “wake up” and look at how off track they’ve gotten.  Sometimes, they need a more formal interaction to do that.  And sometimes, it might lead to a new season for that person and for the company.  Sometimes it’s very healthy for someone to move on, even if they’ve been a decent employee for a while.  Maybe they’ve hit a ceiling and the challenges are few and far between.  Maybe they are at the max for compensation and that takes them down a peg or two.  Maybe they’ve just grown apart from the role.  It happens.

A word to my HR peeps…this applies to you, too.  Some of you need to leave where you are working.  Rough, right?  But I am serious.  You’re too settled, too cranky, too blasé, too distant.  Do a self-check, but also ask for feedback from those who know and work with you.  Staying with a job because you make good money is not helping the company.  Our role is to encourage health and growth within the organizations we serve.  If what we’re modeling is more of a “put my time in” kind of attitude, then we shoot ourselves in the foot.  Trust that your skill sets and aptitudes will open doors elsewhere for you; they can take you to a new challenge where passion and joy return.  Love your company enough to go.

And if you're not ready to go yet, then use the self-assessment and feedback from others to put you back on track.  Raise high the boom box and fight back!

One of my great loves in business is the “fire in your belly” that can grow.  Time does not have to dampen this.  Just because an HR pro or a CEO has been with one company for ten years does not establish some milestone that it’s time to go.  There is a difference between time spent and time served.  Follow?

Seasons change.  There is no question.  I am not in the same role I was in 20 years ago.  I am not in the same role I was in 3 years ago.  And I am not married to the person I almost married 20 years ago.  As painful and scary as those seasons might be, they do change.   

Bag Lady

(A post by +Victorio Milian) 

As a New Yorker, I use public transportation to get where I'm going. It's generally fast and relatively cost effective (especially when compared to the cost of owning and maintaining a car here).

It also provides a snapshot into how human beings act. Whether as individuals or in groups, commuters here speak quite clearly--through their behavior, dress, and other means--even as they avoid eye contact. One observation I've made over time is this: New York City commuters carry lots of bags. Now this is unscientific, but I can say on my normal commute to and from work most passengers carry more than one with them. The vast majority of multi-bag carriers are women. Based (again) on personal observation, most carriers seem to carry one bag for personal effects, and another contains essentials for the commute, such as gym clothes or work items (e.g., laptop, paperwork). 

For me, people carrying multiple bags present a challenge. They take up more room on the subway, which my main form of transportation. When you consider that close to millions of people take the subway on a daily basis, every available inch counts! In addition, I can't help but think that lugging that much stuff around consistently will have an impact on the carrier's health. If nothing else, it probably puts a lot of stress on one's back, shoulders, arms, and legs. I imagine that there's an enterprising chiropractor out there that specifically targets people impacted in this fashion. I know of one that has a sub-practice centered around clients who are in need, due to poor posture related to how they utilize their cellphones! 

With all of this, I strive to carry one bag with me when I'm out and about. Sometimes this presents difficult choices, but for the most part I can successfully balance my needs with my ability. I have bags of various sizes and shapes, and I also try to take care of myself so that, in the event of having to carry a particularly heavy load, I don't overdo it. I also try to carry items that perform multiple functions. For example, utilizing cloud based services such as Evernote, Google Drive, or Dropbox allows me to carry less paper files around. Because they able to be used across multiple devices, I can mix-and-match which ones I carry with me. Most days, this helps me to avoid carrying around my laptop, by far the biggest and heaviest of my work related devices. That being said, I'm overloaded in other ways. It doesn't necessarily manifest itself physically, yet it still can be exhausting. My issue is communication overload. Here's a snapshot of the various communication devices or channels I manage:

• Two smart phones (one for work, one for me)
• Several emails (roughly 1/2 dozen)
• Fax machine (don't ask)
• Two physical work mailboxes
• Two phone landlines 
• Social media outlets

There's a multitude of methods to reach me. And while it doesn't weigh much physically, mentally it can be a lot to manage and maintain. It demands that I check all these different methods, to insure I don't miss anything important. From a security perspective, the different programs and electronic devices I use means multiple access codes. It's a lot! With that, it's time to start thinking realistically around assessing, consolidating, and/or eliminating these items from my life. Wherever possible, as Erykah Badu would say, it's time to let it go...

How do you keep yourself from being overloaded?