Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Tenacious resolve.  Boy, it can be annoying.  Once or twice a week, I am on a train.  When I hop a train to New York City, I find a person or two with this tenacity around seating.  These people would sooner cut you than have you sit next to them.  They put their briefcase or purse on the seat next to them.  Fearful people walk by the open seat for fear of reprisal from the presumed bold person who would dare hold the seat with baggage.  I have watched a passenger stand by the seat, look down at the purse, look over at the owner seated next to it (who never looks up, to the right or to the left), and then walk on.  Where is the resolve? 

For those who’ve traveled with me, you could attest to the fact that I am of the type to board the train, pick up the baggage on the open seat, hand it over to the owner and sit happily for the remainder of the ride.  Only once did I have the baggage owner say something to me.  I did not look up, to the left or to the right.  I consoled myself with the thought of throwing momma from the train (probably the only positive context I can offer from that movie).  I exude resolve in that kind of circumstance.

This trait is not found in all people naturally.  It is, however, something that can be learned.  Tenacity is grown from a response to a core belief.  In the previous example, fairness is violated.  If fairness or justice or a sense of right and wrong matter to you, that can be built upon to develop tenacity around defending such a position or offering active engagement to its display.  It’s a manifestation of your belief system.

Think about your goals for this year.  It’s halfway through the year.  Do you still believe in them?  Take some time to measure where you’ve gotten with them and what’s needed to accomplish these goals.  But also, assess the tenacity with which you’ve approached the path towards those goals.  Do you fight for them?  Is your resolve deep around them?

Goals are important.  For as much as they’ve been over-complicated in creation, the point of them remains strong.  Goals serve as a beacon.  They are to drive the daily strain.  They allow for mile-markers of celebration on the path towards them.  They are the driving force of an organization.  If you don’t know where you want to go, then where are we going?

Being strong in our resolve towards these goals takes an unapologetic position.  Unapologetic is not the same as mean.  Be tenacious in protecting those goals, even if there is an alteration that has to happen to them.  Updating goals based upon new information is healthy.  If the new information is that you’re tired or it’s too hard, that is not healthy.  Goals should be designed to stretch you.  Easy to say, yes, but the point is to work hard to get this challenging objective. 

If you want to increase sales by 50%, calls will have to be made, networking will be expanded, pitching product and services will have to increase 100%, etc.  All of this takes great effort.  If you are not committed to the goal, then tenacity around it won’t develop.  Come back to goal creation.  Where do you want to get to and why?  Answer that clearly and create objectives to get there.

For those who are privileged to lead a team, work with each individual to develop strong resolve around the goals set.  Help them to know how to get to where they’d like to be.  Avoid the common issue of goals being set to paper, and then little else.  You have a great chance to enhance and develop skill sets for your team.  And then the celebration around accomplishment is even sweeter when it’s a collaborative effort of support and encouragement.

Fight more for the goals you’ve set.  Don’t cower.  Stand up and move towards accomplishment of those goals.  Remain laser-focused.  If someone has put a piece of luggage in your seat, move it.  You paid for your ticket.  You were up early to get the train.  You have a goal to get to the destination ahead.  See?  Think about goal-pursuit in simpler ways; it will help to foster tenacity.  And once you have the resolve behind the goals, watch out world!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

There are almost 92,000 books being sold on Amazon.com right now that contain the word "happy" in the title.  This does not necessarily include all of the books that are actually about happiness.  Nor the ones that are about satisfaction, contentment or peace.  

#WorkHuman was a conference recently held by +Globoforce in Orlando. And while it was a conference founded upon recognition thoughts and strategies, there was a push towards happiness that I found refreshingly interesting.

From a scientific approach, the concept of happiness was explored by Shawn Achor.  What benefit is there to happiness in the workplace?  Of course, we would rather people be happy than sad at work.  It's not likely that any of us looks to see a line of sad people outside of our door that we need to convert to happy ones.  However, there is something to be said about our ability to promote a happier culture.  +JetBlue VP of People Michael Elliott shared how it's the job of HR, for example, to sell the success stories of the company.  Preach the ways we shine.  We have an opportunity to support the core values and encourage the mission of our organizations through a pursuit of happiness.

Consider, however, the concept of joy.  Happiness tends to be an emotional consideration, and while there are fuller perspectives, joy is more of a state of being.  What can we do to foster this level of consideration?  How can pursuing the right perspective of such a state of being impact workplace culture?

• Where does the joy come from? - Look for ways to push those around us to consider self-awareness.  Not necessarily in the metaphysical sense, but think of it in light of the wellness and mindfulness initiatives available to us.  Grounding people is a gift.  Very often, we get ensnared by the busyness of our roles.  We need to motivate ourselves to do our work because it's an expression of who we are.  Look to align the joy being cultivated in you around the functional roles of existence.  If it's out of line, you'll sense it clearly.  Adjust this in a timely manner and, then, recalibrate.
• What can the joy do for others? - In addition to the ways joy brings a stability to self, the joy one has can serve as a beacon to those looking to secure their own.  Reflecting the active nature of joy will inspire others, but will be done as a genuine by-product.  Manufacturing a trite or programmatic approach to this will be apparent to others observing, and the initiative will fail.  The honesty that joy gives is infectious and truthful.  There is something so attractive about someone who is naturally full of joy.  If you have known someone like this, think about how he/she made you feel.  Don't hide the joy at work; live it fully and others will observe it.
• What will work be like in light of joy? - A study in Britain showed that providing happiness outlets, even in small doses, could increase productivity by as much as 12%.  12%?!  Think about that.  That could be tens of thousands to hundreds of millions for our companies.  Amazing to think that encouraging happiness could lead to such results.  And the feeling of happiness leads to an openness to joy, contentment and satisfaction.  When workplaces cultivate this type of depth, talent does not look to leave as willingly, especially those who've worked in other environments.  There will be a great appeal to remain connected and committed to who and what the company is.

None of this is meant to cover up the difficulties that come along with living.  Sickness, financial strain, divorce, death...all of this and more vie for our attention and steal our joy.  We should not look to be smiling idiots or attempt to gloss over the pain that others might have.  We're still people, People!  

The thoughts here are reflective of the measurable affect that happiness can bring to the workplace.  While at this conference, +The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research founder was on-hand to share his perspective on life.  To hear someone who could have become rather bitter and jaded at the unfairness of life, share that he loves his life, is humbling.  The gripes about work - the amount to do, the managers that annoy and the lack of variety of coffee flavors - find a better context and become minimized in light of such a perspective.  Michael J. Fox shared his heart and his joy.  The lesson for all of us is to do the same.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Disappointment is a tough emotion.  There isn’t a way to avoid it.  If you’re going to work for a living, attend school or have any kind of relationship, then disappointment will come. 

I recently saw a story about a boy, Walker, who broke his arm and was in the hospital to address the situation.  When Walker awoke, he saw that he broke a bone.  Instead of dread and disappointment, Walker couldn’t get over his excitement in having a cast.  He began to ask everyone in the room if they’d seen his cast.  He was elated in the difficulty (okay,, the drugs helped, but...).  How much is Walker teaching us about approaching annoyance, inconvenience, frustration?

In human resources, we’re asked to deal with many annoyances.  We are to point others to a better (not bitter) way of handling emotion and its impact on work.  This isn’t to belittle the true feelings that someone may have, but rather to enable a healthy perspective.  The disappointment felt can be crippling to some.  We can draw on our own experiences to help guide others.

When a new problem enters my life, do I ask others in pure joy if they see this opportunity given to me, as Walker did with his arm?  Do I present it as a privilege?  This isn’t about positive self-help crappola (that’s Italian for “crap”).  It’s about dealing with two realities – people and opportunities to grow.

Growth is easier.  Think about the disappointments that you’ve experienced in life – lost jobs, bad relationships, financial struggle, even death.  What did you learn from each of those experiences?  While I don’t wish any of those situations on anyone, I am sure that there was an opportunity to grow in action, consideration and relationship. 

A proactive approach to an unwelcome reality takes discipline and effort.  I can choose not to learn anything from the situation in front of me.  I can choose to sit in a corner and weep.  I can choose to remain in that corner for days, weeks, even if not literally.  My spirit sits crushed inside of me and I accept the victimization.  Well-intentioned people get hit with life and all that it has to offer.  I have watched some rise to the occasion and some fall to the wayside. 

In business, I have sat with executives who’ve lost everything.  I have cried with staff that I had to reduce.  I have packed boxes for companies that had to close.  I have been to the funerals of co-workers who died suddenly, leaving young families behind. 

Expectation setting is one of the hardest mechanisms against disappointment.  This is where the people component comes into play.  I know that I have disappointed others and I know I am not done disappointing.  It’s not that I intend to do so, but the expectations of others are not ones that I can control.  Some have expected me to fail, and I didn’t.  Some have expected me to soar, and I didn’t.  In both situations, disappointment was there.

Am I adding to that disappointment by fueling such expectations that others have for me?  Is it okay for me to address what I think others expect?  If you want to mitigate disappointment, then absolutely yes.  Walk into a team meeting and let others know what you’re sensing for expectations around a particular situation.  If they always think you’re to be the hero, is that fair?  Is that pressure yours to hold?  Aren’t you exhausted by all of the balls in the air?

Understand that the personal nature of some of this is very relevant in business.  We project personal feelings of disappointment on others.  When I work with a company that’s being sued by its own employees, it hurts.  There is no denying that, but does that business want to stay in business?  If so, then it cannot wallow in pity and despair.  Get up, understand that the expectations you had for that handful of employees was off, and work to make the company better today.  Direct your energies towards things that will give a return; don't settle for pure emotion. 

Listen, I am a crier (shocking to some, I know, but true).  I am a sucker for an emotionally charged commercial…where are the tissues?  My sensitive heart busts through my chest sometimes.  But that emotion may not be just about sappy sentiment, but also real disappointment and anger based on what I am seeing.  Previous experiences get brought to the surface based upon that movie, show or commercial.  I make connections in my mind.

These emotions and responses are mine to control.  Similarly, in work, I cannot expect a positive outcome if I project my disappointment on others. “Oh, if only so-and-so wasn’t here. It would so much easier to deal with work.”  Really?  Why give this person so much power in your life?  Why did you think you could expect a certain behavior from “so-and-so”?  Whose fault is that?

You should not desire to be a stumbling block to anyone, but know that it is likely to happen, as it has previously.  Intention is fine, but the reality as to how others respond cannot be overlooked.  Disappointment is going to happen.  It’s about how you will deal with it and what it does to your life.  Existing is no way to live.

Manage your expectations of others and know that there are certain things in life which are going to happen.  Death, taxes…and disappointment.  Rise above and use it to fuel health in all facets of your life.

Don't Fear the Reaper

Go to @twitter and search for #leadership and plan on spending the next four days with no sleep reading what’s there.  Oh, and that won’t give you enough time to finish.  We are a leadership-sensitive business community.  Books, articles, chats, posts, etc. are aplenty regarding the need for, the stability desired in and the call for leadership.  It’s needed in business, at home, in our houses of worship, for our town little league programs, for our school boards and beyond.

The marketplace is ravenous for leadership-directed material.  I have been known to write about it.  I have been known to coach leaders on leadership.  I lead one of the premier HR consulting firms – Humareso.  I like leadership.

Sadly, however, over the past decade, I hear many complaining that our need for leadership is thwarted by a lack of desire for people to step into leadership.  Let me be clearer.  We’ve all experienced leaders who had no business being in positions of leadership.  They were cruel, cold, uninspiring, lacked vision or narcissistic.  Many couldn’t manage their way out of a paper bag let alone lead anyone anywhere (ok, so I have some strong feelings about bad leaders, I know).

Perhaps because of those bad leaders, we have many who could perform the role of leader who won’t do it.  They’ve seen the bloody battle that erupts around leaders.  They see the accolades, sure, but they see the bathroom wall writing, too.  It’s a reputation-killer in our society to be a leader.  Can we honestly blame people for not wanting to lead?

Or perhaps it’s Marvel’s fault.  We hold up high the myth of the super hero who can come in and lead effectively with character and right action.  Those movies are blockbusters, but do they set us up to think that all leadership should look like Captain America?  It’s a fantasy.  Could it be that our fascination with that genre impacts our willingness to jump into leadership?  Could be.

So what do businesses do?  They are so starved for leadership that money and willingness become tied together.  Begging someone to lead and paying that person handsomely is our charge to motivate.  I agree that our leadership should be compensated for the skill sets, aptitudes and knowledge they possess.  However, if we bypass those qualities in favor of willingness to hold a position, we belittle the intention of leadership.  Instead of influencers towards mission, we box bodies into short-term, high-paying figureheads.   That doesn’t seem too appealing. 

If someone has some of the qualities necessary to build upon for a leadership role, it’s our job to help coach them into the role, not scare them off.  Promoting people because you can is not a successful succession plan.  True leadership is of a different path.  Leadership is about influence, yes, but deeper than that, a leader inspires others to push and reach for their excellence individually and corporately.  A leader rallies people toward a challenge or lasting goal.

One of our passions is to ridicule and belittle our leadership.  We leave them little room to grow from their mistakes.  The title of leader does not and should not imply perfection.  No one fully arrives once given a role like that.  Regardless of your political persuasion, look at the way we’ve beaten up our last six presidents (and please, don’t send me any articles as to why Bush or Obama or Clinton are more awful than others).  I wouldn’t want any of my kids to be president, and that’s a sad statement.

If I were president, I would receive a barrage of criticism just like they did.  And while that’s on a grand scale, the smaller version is just as powerful in our workplaces.  It’s why we struggle to find people willing to step up.  And so our succession plans move from who is able to who is willing.  There is a vast difference between the two.

Some of you reading this know I am talking to you.  You know that you have the ability to lead, but won’t jump in.  You’ve seen how other leaders have been devoured by their own.  I know it’s not pretty.  Leadership, however, is a privilege that costs.  It’s not that you will become a leader and now be free from ridicule because you’ll have them read this blog.  That’s not what will work.

What will work is your relentless pursuit of excellence, your drive to encourage those you lead towards the mission and your creative exuberance towards the vision.  Some will not like to see this type of person leading them.  It’s too active, too forward thinking, too expectant.  I would say that’s too bad for them.  You are made from deeper and richer stuff.  Don’t fear leadership and what might come with taking it; rather, fear what a lack of leadership will do for a spirit such as yours.