Are We Ourselves?

Assertive versus Aggressive.  Confidence versus Conceit.  As a leader, we might display one over the other.  There was a guy I knew in high school who parlayed confidence into conceit on a regular basis.  He annoyed the crap out of me, but I found myself swimming in his lane to fight back.  I had become that rude jerk.  I was merely trying to be an assertive alpha male (my skinny frame didn't make it so easy to do....stupid track team), but it didn't translate that way to others.

While an assertive person channels and promotes good communication, the slide into aggression parlays that into interruption and talking over people.  It's a subtle slide.  There are characteristics that start healthy enough but then become twisted and contorted by a shifting foundation.

Is there something more lurking just a little deeper?  A lack of self-esteem may be at play.  It's not to say you don't have any self-esteem, but rather it's development might be askew.  Dr. Michael Miller, former editor in chief of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, says, “It’s more likely that self-esteem will come as a result of accurate self-understanding, appreciation of one’s genuine skills, and the satisfaction of helping others.”  As managers, is this our stance?

Observations for years show me how much management often find their identity in the work they do.  This becomes the basis for self-worth and self-esteem.  And this is a simple recipe for disaster.  When we base our esteem upon shifting sand, such as a particular organization, the work being done or even the people we work with, the foundation is based upon change.  People leave, we leave, the work changes and organizations are sold, merged, restructured or altered.  If we live for the company, we will be disappointed.

Our audience, however, might be receiving management poorly based upon the dilemma of assertive/aggressive or confidence/conceit.  Again, if it's a matter of self-esteem, your staff can easily identify the difference.  When a manager is over-the-top or a micro-manager, the talk among employees will start rather quickly.  It sets a tone for response that's based upon someone's individual needs (in this case, the manager) rather than the good of the whole.  Staff begin to look for ways to avoid the wrath of a manager or even seeing the manager at all.  These goals supersede the goals of the department in the work to be done.

Such a backwards setup.  We short-circuit the efforts towards our department's goals by the way in which we struggle to handle ourselves and the workload, for instance.  Help is an okay option.  It's not a sign of weakness, despite the possibility that your employer may think so.  And while I know your job is important to you (your finances, for example!), it cannot be that you should become less of the person you are or are meant to be.  Simple to say, right?  But what does it profit you to be aggressive, struggling with self-esteem or self-worth and not meet the goals you've set for work?  Right the ship.  Take the time necessary to unravel what's been going on.

Typically, managing the esteem of a manager is not on a job description, yet we see it happen.  Don't be the manager putting employees in this situation.  Get grounded outside of the work.  Then, when work needs to be done, it is a matter of how to best do it, apart from it fulfilling some esteem needs.  And while I am far from a self-help guru, I do know enough that there is truth that a person must discover for himself/herself that is separate from work, from a person or from status.  Take the time to examine yourself and find out what's true about you.

In human resources, we can find ourselves giving so much to others, which is a part of our job, that we tax our own foundation.  We must be sure to connect inwardly.

Pushing the envelope is worth it.  Don't fear being assertive.  It does matter in driving the goals of your department.  However, it is meant to be done with a specific goal in mind for the organization, not for your esteem.  If work defines you, take a small step back and look at the bigger picture.  Your role needs you to be as with it as possible.  You are the one in the role for a reason.  Get back to you.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Disappointment is a tough emotion.  There isn’t a way to avoid it.  If you’re going to work for a living, attend school or have any kind of relationship, then disappointment will come. 

I recently saw a story about a boy, Walker, who broke his arm and was in the hospital to address the situation.  When Walker awoke, he saw that he broke a bone.  Instead of dread and disappointment, Walker couldn’t get over his excitement in having a cast.  He began to ask everyone in the room if they’d seen his cast.  He was elated in the difficulty (okay,, the drugs helped, but...).  How much is Walker teaching us about approaching annoyance, inconvenience, frustration?

In human resources, we’re asked to deal with many annoyances.  We are to point others to a better (not bitter) way of handling emotion and its impact on work.  This isn’t to belittle the true feelings that someone may have, but rather to enable a healthy perspective.  The disappointment felt can be crippling to some.  We can draw on our own experiences to help guide others.

When a new problem enters my life, do I ask others in pure joy if they see this opportunity given to me, as Walker did with his arm?  Do I present it as a privilege?  This isn’t about positive self-help crappola (that’s Italian for “crap”).  It’s about dealing with two realities – people and opportunities to grow.

Growth is easier.  Think about the disappointments that you’ve experienced in life – lost jobs, bad relationships, financial struggle, even death.  What did you learn from each of those experiences?  While I don’t wish any of those situations on anyone, I am sure that there was an opportunity to grow in action, consideration and relationship. 

A proactive approach to an unwelcome reality takes discipline and effort.  I can choose not to learn anything from the situation in front of me.  I can choose to sit in a corner and weep.  I can choose to remain in that corner for days, weeks, even if not literally.  My spirit sits crushed inside of me and I accept the victimization.  Well-intentioned people get hit with life and all that it has to offer.  I have watched some rise to the occasion and some fall to the wayside. 

In business, I have sat with executives who’ve lost everything.  I have cried with staff that I had to reduce.  I have packed boxes for companies that had to close.  I have been to the funerals of co-workers who died suddenly, leaving young families behind. 

Expectation setting is one of the hardest mechanisms against disappointment.  This is where the people component comes into play.  I know that I have disappointed others and I know I am not done disappointing.  It’s not that I intend to do so, but the expectations of others are not ones that I can control.  Some have expected me to fail, and I didn’t.  Some have expected me to soar, and I didn’t.  In both situations, disappointment was there.

Am I adding to that disappointment by fueling such expectations that others have for me?  Is it okay for me to address what I think others expect?  If you want to mitigate disappointment, then absolutely yes.  Walk into a team meeting and let others know what you’re sensing for expectations around a particular situation.  If they always think you’re to be the hero, is that fair?  Is that pressure yours to hold?  Aren’t you exhausted by all of the balls in the air?

Understand that the personal nature of some of this is very relevant in business.  We project personal feelings of disappointment on others.  When I work with a company that’s being sued by its own employees, it hurts.  There is no denying that, but does that business want to stay in business?  If so, then it cannot wallow in pity and despair.  Get up, understand that the expectations you had for that handful of employees was off, and work to make the company better today.  Direct your energies towards things that will give a return; don't settle for pure emotion. 

Listen, I am a crier (shocking to some, I know, but true).  I am a sucker for an emotionally charged commercial…where are the tissues?  My sensitive heart busts through my chest sometimes.  But that emotion may not be just about sappy sentiment, but also real disappointment and anger based on what I am seeing.  Previous experiences get brought to the surface based upon that movie, show or commercial.  I make connections in my mind.

These emotions and responses are mine to control.  Similarly, in work, I cannot expect a positive outcome if I project my disappointment on others. “Oh, if only so-and-so wasn’t here. It would so much easier to deal with work.”  Really?  Why give this person so much power in your life?  Why did you think you could expect a certain behavior from “so-and-so”?  Whose fault is that?

You should not desire to be a stumbling block to anyone, but know that it is likely to happen, as it has previously.  Intention is fine, but the reality as to how others respond cannot be overlooked.  Disappointment is going to happen.  It’s about how you will deal with it and what it does to your life.  Existing is no way to live.

Manage your expectations of others and know that there are certain things in life which are going to happen.  Death, taxes…and disappointment.  Rise above and use it to fuel health in all facets of your life.

Into the Woods

I am a sucker for a good story.  Basic story-telling should grab the listener early on, keep that person glued to the next word and then amaze and challenge to wrap it up.  In the musical Into the Woods, a mish-mosh of fairy tales come together, initially in ways we would expect, but then all of it collapses around us, such challenges are presented.  The pithy and wise-beyond measure granules of truth that come out of it are poignant, if not stunning at times.   The baker's wife sings "But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one."  The witch painfully sings "Children may not obey, but children will listen."  Or, my favorite, the Prince states, "I was raised to be charming, not sincere."

It's often the case that the simplest of stories can turn a head back to true north.  Our gauge can be put off from purpose and passions because of the myriad of distractions in front of us.  Our perspective has to be re-adjusted.  We need to wake up.  Sometimes, a trip to the woods is exactly what is needed.

Whether for a business or for an individual, this journey is one to be taken every so often.  What can the challenges that come with walking through a different set of scenery do for you?  Think about your company.  What if you had three people walk in, at times you didn't know, when you were not there, and then report back what they observed.  Would there be value in that?  Of course!  The meadow that you think you're lunching in may turn out to be full of thorns (or at least have some thorny patches).  

Perhaps it is wise to walk into a competitor's location and observe.  You know, shop or use their services, but really just be there to take it all in.  Sound deceptive?  Nah.  The great car makers bought cars from competitors.  Mr. Gimbel shopped in Macy's once in a while.  It's good.  It's profitable.

As individuals, the same push is there for us.  Are we walking in the woods?  Have I settled for complacency?  Another line from Into the Woods is "you're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice."  How awful!  Listen, I think I am a pretty good guy, but I would rather have someone hate me than just think I am nice...bleck!

With a new year upon us, what will you do to travel the path towards a new view, a new status, a new scene?  I could give you a hundred ideas, but the point is to start the journey.  Those doors will open.  The pathway will become clearer.  You will run into wolves, witches, princes and giants.  All of them will help you to see who you are and who you want to strive to be.  The inspiration comes not only from those feel-good moments, but also from those moments of despair and tragedy.

Businesses must be sharp and ready.  People must be challenged and pushed.  We have each other.  Walk the path with someone.  Don't fear.  Go to the woods!

Stir It Up

What can you learn from the Muppets?  Lots.  For those of us in a certain age group, we can recall those fantastic Muppet Show episodes with Julie Andrews, Paul Simon, Diana Ross and a host of other celebrities.  The Muppets would get these respected actors (and Mark Hamill), singers, performers, etc. to don a chicken costume or wrestle with a giant puppet all for the sake of a laugh.

In what ways do we become what we need to in order for the message we need to share to propagate?  I think about the tons of training I’ve done through the years and the ways in which I have had to grow the delivery and the content structure to meet the audiences in need of the knowledge.  Wow.  So many “performances.” 

Please know that I don’t use that word – performance – lightly or with frivolity.  I mean, performance.  The delivery of our information is as important as the information itself.  If we are unaware of the learning styles, the history of training in the company or the expectation of knowledge applied in the company, then we’re likely to see training fail.  That time will be little more than time off from the line for the average worker.

Ultimately, we know that this is not the desire of training.  The goal is usually wanting to expand upon some knowledge already in use and add to its functionality, or use it to build a bridge to another knowledge base.  So many times, I have watched the connection light bulbs go off.  These men and women, who have honed a craft, see the value in the information presented and desire to add it to the repertoire of duties they have.  It’s humbling.

And yet, I have also seen just the opposite.  I don’t always hit it out of the park.  I watch eyes that seem to say, “OK, how much longer do I have to sit here?”  Ugh.  That’s not such a great feeling.  Our duty as trainers is to give connectivity and relevance which comes from knowing your audience and the material well.  It then requires delivery in such a way as to hold attention, show appreciation and encourage participation.

Even in matters of compliance information, how much thought do we put into delivery?  With the Affordable Care Act, there is much to share, for example.  The material itself can be confusing or overwhelming, so consideration should be given as to how to deliver it.  For me, as I've shared with many on this topic, I have begun an information session by asking how the audience would have handled health insurance reform.  Obviously, you've got to keep a tight reign on conversation, but it has allowed the hearers to understand some parallels to the ACA.  Building blocks.  

Listen, constantly doing role play won’t work.  Always doing a video isn’t going to do it.  Arts and crafts at every training session is weird.  Think about variety.  Think about holding interest.  Think about the goal of the information.  Allow that to drive preparation for delivery.  Study the material to know it inside and out, yes, but also figure out what the best delivery method would be.

Think about how weird it might have been to sit in the creative arts and development office for a major television network and offer the Muppets as an adult solution to a primetime slot.  Crazy!  And yet, it worked because the delivery of material (the performance) was mindful of its audience.  We stepped outside of ourselves and entered this world.  That's what training should afford - setting the stage for dynamic engagement where effectual change occurs.

Talk Talk

I looked at a bottle of lotion today.  I use it often but I read the label today.  It said "20% more than 10 oz. bottle."  I looked at the weight of the bottle and showed 12 oz.  That is 20% more than 10 oz.  No false advertising here, but is it really advertisement worthy?  The bottle doesn't say anything more than this.  The sentence is running across the top of the bottle.  There is no mention of a value - paying for 10 oz. but getting 12 oz.  There is no mention of taking on the standard size lotion bottle.  Nothing but the statement.

My dad used to describe some people as "liking to hear themselves talk."  There wasn't much substance to what someone was saying, but they sure had lots to say.  The only way it made sense for that person to talk so much was that he/she liked the sound of his/her voice.  As weak of a reason as that may be, it just may be the best explanation.

Substance is needed in our conversations.  Too much fluff can fill our dialogues.  We talk about inane things that don't matter and don't help us.  As leaders, do we know what we're saying and why we're saying it?  Is it simply being said because you feel as though something has to be said?  That usually isn't a great reason.  In fact, it might be counter-productive because, first, it might water down anything of substance you do have to share in the future and, second, it might cause you to say more about something than you ought.  The value of communication is a demonstrated leadership quality.  Your team will get what you think about verbal communication when they hear and see what you're doing with it.

The words themselves are not stupid, but rather, not thought through well.  Take for instance a recent political  election commercial.  The woman running for office says that if elected, she would take medicare money from the US government for the state as opposed to the current official who is not.  She makes this point and then says, "and that's the kind of leader I will be."  I scratch my head.  Is taking government medicare money a sign of leadership?  That's the correlation?  Hmmmm.  I'm not convinced.  Sounds like fluff to me.

Simply, as leaders in our companies, we have to be thoughtful about our words.  What is it we really want to communicate?  Focus on that.  Make cohesive dialogue.  Share one point and connect it to the next in a sensible way.  Help others follow your progression.

1. Know what you want to communicate
2. Think through how you want to communicate
3. Clearly share the communication

I know it's simple, but the amount of rhetoric and jargon we slip into can make our necessary communication with our team ineffective and off-putting.  Take the time you need to gather your thoughts and share what you really want to share.  I would really like to hear that communication!

Don't You Forget About Me

Comcast is pushing its new Streampix movie and television show catalog.  There are promos aplenty with much of it being TV commercials.  And its primary movie of choice to play in the background of the announcer's messaging is "The Breakfast Club."  This movie debuted in early 1985.  It's 2013 (barely).  A movie almost 29 years old is the primary movie of appeal for current streaming consumers?  Apparently.

This movie has been shown hundreds of times on TBS and the like.  It's sold thousands of VHS and DVD copies.  And it continues to sell.  So why?  For those of you familiar with my deep love for Molly Ringwald, I will leave that aside as a reason (hard for me to do).  Part of the appeal is the nostalgia of the 80's.  Those of us who hit their teens sometime during that decade find that this movie, perhaps more than any other, defines our generation.  The characters struggle with identity and their place in the world.  The peer pressure, the temptations of life, the masks needed to be worn, the inadequacy of self - all of these are themes, still relevant today.

It's brilliant, actually, that Comcast is using it.  The movie is a microcosm of life beyond the teenage years.  Many of us work in places where we have to mask ourselves and pretend that all is well when it very much is not.  And, to be clear, this is not necessarily an indictment on the workplace or company; it may be that your continued poor view of self haunts your everyday existence and causes you to maintain appearances using all of your energy.  Letting your guard down is not an option and perhaps there is no real outlet for it.

I am aware that counseling is available for the deeper issues; some companies have rather robust EAP's or even in-house professionals.  However, the reality is that most of us won't use those available services or seek outside help for what we would call "it's just how I am."  Going home after work and popping on "The Breakfast Club" while crying might be all the therapy needed.  I have experienced workplaces where the demand is great and the care for people is not.  I have also been at workplaces where the care for people is high, but the facade to be okay and participate with others is crushing.  Not everyone is the "kum ba yah" type to be okay with HR's latest and greatest team building program.  HR can encourage, albeit unintentionally, poor self-esteem (I can't do what these people can do), dishonesty (a lack of people being able to be genuine) or compartmentalization (I need to work a certain way and fit into a certain box).

Let's not be offended by this.  Let that go.  It's not about you.  It's about the companies we work for and the employees we serve.  So, ask yourself, what have I forgotten about people that I need to re-learn?  Take some time to consider your company to jar your memory.  Does peer pressure still exist at work?  Is it positive in that it's about performance and cultural health? Or is it about high school groupings all over again?  Who are the Cool Crowd and how do they keep the Dorks out?  How do people sit in the breakroom?  Look, this is just one stream of thought - there are MANY to consider.  But we ought to think about the Ally Sheedy's and Anthony Michael Hall's of our companies.  Where do they fit and are they fitting well?  Don't forget about them.

And yet, I would also submit that the Molly Ringwald's and Emilio Estevez's don't have it all together either. And sometimes, we in HR feed those roles and allow little room for them to say, "Enough!"  We build programs around the funny guys, rather than around significant content. so that we get a visceral response to affirm our own existence at work - close your mouth and don't pretend to be shocked.  I have seen this done numerous times and I am sure it will continue.  It's the same line of thinking around some who desire to be seen as "experts" or "thought leaders."  Posting and re-tweeting "smart" stuff doesn't really make you either an expert or a leader (ouch).

I am driven to always come back to the people we serve.  We have to consider all of them and how they fit together.  "The Breakfast Club" works well because we see the roles each one plays, the walls come down and true relationship emerges, but here's the reality - they went back to school on Monday and assuredly re-acclimated to their role.  They may hate it, but they do it.  Adults do it, too.  

Fitting in and finding your place means something to every person (don't even pretend it doesn't - even non-conformists hang out with other non-conformists).  Individual identity is precious and should be encouraged to be explored.  If you read biographies about some of the great business leaders, you'll see struggles dealt with in these areas for each and the way in which they were fostered through it.  We can consider this as we develop our programs and benefits, yes, but more so in our messaging and our recognition language.  

How do all of the pieces fit?  That's our job to study.  We are to create environments that will allow every person to be free to be the skillful, collaborative person we've hired.  That's what our companies pay for and that's what we need them to be.  And each person has a role.  Don't forget about any one of them.

The Story of My Life

Thankfulness is not trite.  It can be portrayed as such, but in actuality, it is quite a bit more.  Being face to face with someone who wants to express his/her gratitude to you is humbling, heartfelt and, well, special.  When those in my lifetime have sat me down to express a sentiment of thankfulness or if I have received a note to say as such, I am always taken aback.

It reminds me that my life means much more to many more than I realize.  It's so very easy to be swallowed by duty and responsibility.  I have a family, a job, a church...I define myself by function.  And yet, what matters most is not those roles but the way in which those roles impact the relationships connected - the people who value the work I do, the involvement in my church programs or the love in action for my family.  I define my life by what I do.  Gratitude shakes me back to what my life should really be about - relationships.

The story of my life has been marked by incredible difficulty and incredible pain, but those things do not define me.  If it does, it takes my eyes off of the incredible beauty and incredible blessing in my life.  So many people, so much love, so much to appreciate.  Each one of us has a decision to make each day - am I going to be a benefit or a distraction to those around me?  I can control my behavior...I am not a victim.  I can rise above the pettiness around me, if there is any.  I can choose to be a beacon of positivity in my work culture.  I can be grateful for where I am.

Gratitude is powerful.  I am amazed constantly at the impact of being thankful.  I don't know why I am amazed.  I have seen it happen plenty.  But I forget so easily.

During this week where it's easy and convenient to be thankful, let's think about ways that we can be more grateful all year.  I know that I can raise high the banner for what it will do to the workplace or to the family, but I think it's more than that.  When a habit of gratitude is lived, a life is really lived.

The story of my life needs to be about being thankful.  This isn't about self-help.  It's not about being a great leader.  It's not about being a good employee.  It's about you.  All of those things mentioned will happen when you're grounded.  And gratitude is grounding.

This Used to be My Playground

For 10 years, I have to admit, I have loved What Not to Wear.  I didn't really love Season 1, actually.  There was a different male host and the show was a little predictable.  But Season 2 turned the corner.  Men and women (okay, it's been all women for the last six seasons) with varying fashion dilemmas are nominated by friends and family for a makeover.  Seems classic, right?  In many ways, you would be correct.  So why with all of the other makeover shows that have come and gone, did #WNTW (oh yeah, I'm down with the hashtag) last for ten years?

In part, the hosts are hilarious.  Stacy and Clinton, bravo.  In part, too, it's because there is the understanding that the clothes don't make you feel something, but rather, who you are is highlighted by the clothes you wear.  Personality, professionalism and passion all pour through your outfit.  Silly?  What does it say to you when someone highly qualified shows up to an interview with ripped jeans and a graphic T?  Unless it's Urban Outfitters or a company in your mom's basement, you might be disappointed that this person did not think it worthwhile to dress accordingly.  Clothes do make the man (or woman, as it may be), but the tactic of #WNTW is to do so as an output of who the person is.

The hosts spend time talking to family and friends.  They ask the contributor what life has been like, where they want to go in the future personally, professionally, and how those around him/her can know those desires just by the contributor walking into the room.  It's not a clean shirt, trendy haircut and new lipstick kind of engagement.

We can do the same thing...not the wardrobe makeover part (I've seen what some of you wear and you're lucky there won't be an 11th year of What Not to Wear!), but a talent makeover.  Some of the issues for our long-term employees are that they've done work a certain way for years and it's tough to get them to try new ideas or new processes.  Perhaps they used to try and it didn't work out or the plans were too all over the place, so they don't "waste their time."  They have gotten used to playing on the same swing set and don't want to hear about the latest and greatest stuff.  It's very much like some of the contributors on the show.  They are still wearing clothes from the 80's and don't know why they can't get a date or that the dates they do get are psycho.  They're comfortable in what they know; "it's worked for me" is a common phrase.  

Let's show them how valuable their experience can be in light of new understandings of production, marketing and technology.  Let's get them into a new "outfit" not because we want to make them look hip, but because it will allow people to engage with them quicker and find out what they know.  Take the time to look at how things work in your place of employment.  Do the seasoned employees hang out with each other exclusively?  How will the younger ones feel okay to engage?  What about knowledge management?  What if some of those seasoned employees retire...where will that know-how go?

Assess the environment.  Not just the physical attributes, but the cultural attributes.  What is it the company values and how is that upheld?  Just like the contributor is encouraged to let his/her inner passions and interests shine through the deliberately chosen wardrobe, so too should our companies shine the mission and values through it's outer markings.  And that is largely seen in our employees.

We ought to be the experts at recognizing competencies in our people.  We should look for ways to accent and highlight those KSAs in ways that others in the organization will take notice and want to engage.  Think of it like dressing someone up for a date.  He/She may look good when they walk in the door and cause the date to be thrilled at the sight, but the conversation throughout the date will determine how likely this relationship is to continue.  So many companies have thrown thousands at image and surface tactics only to come right back to square one once the hoopla is over.  We know better than to fall for that (I hope).

The territory we're in charge of is our organization.  Allow talent to speak through our talent.  How can we facilitate the recognition of such talent?  How can we get our talent to go deeper and express more?  It's our primary job in human resources to manage talent fully (that's a lot of "talent" usage, isn't it?).  We don't get a $5000 gift card per employee to get it done, but we do get to use the resources at our disposal, which includes our smarts, to make it happen.

Roar

I am a sucker for a good come-back movie.  I love seeing the underdog win over the well-funded or obnoxious favorite.  The storyline of hard work, honesty, faith and little bit of luck stir something real deep inside of us.  Sports-related plot lines especially seem to captivate.  Think about movies like Rudy, Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, Rocky and Invincible.  Are you feeling good?  Smile on your face?

These movies show us that skills, bravery, teamwork and willpower can come together around a common goal.  Even for those superstar athletes depicted, the concept of team is learned and he/she realizes that winning cannot be done alone.  Years ago, I worked for an organization that would show a movie on Fridays for the sales department.  The movie would play on all of the televisions in the sales area, which normally showed CNBC, for about 2-3 hours in the afternoon.  The idea was to play movies like this to inspire teams of people.  I loved walking through the department during the last 10 minutes of the movie.  As much as people were working during the majority of the movie, they could not help but stop cold for those last 10 minutes.  Eyes fixed, slight smiles on their faces and the occasional fist of victory lifted (of course, Boiler Room was shown often, too, and that doesn't quite have the same effect).

People want to be inspired.  They want to know that their efforts matter.  They want to be valued and encouraged in those success areas.  They want to see how they fit into the whole.  They want to know that they can win.  

Since we all are people-people, what is our role in building upon this natural inclination?  We know that those employees we serve seek success in effort.  How can they see how what they do matters for the team?  Can this be deepened or better defined?  How can you make the pathway clearer?  This is not existential in questioning (some would say I am not that deep to go there anyway), but rather practical in nature.  I would submit a couple of ideas.

First, train directors, managers and supervisors to assess talent.  We have to show these managers what to look for and how to determine the skills and abilities on their teams.  Often, we just let them figure it out, but most times, they don't.  Who taught you how to know what you truly have to work with?  No one?  Well, then, learn first.  Seek a mentor or coach of your own and then pass along what you are learning to a director.  Inspiration for your teams will settle in deeply if those team members know that you know them.  You will be thinking of ways to set them up for success.  They will rise to the occasion because you knew, sometimes even better than they did, where to put them and how to use their competencies.  

Management will be proactive in this posture, which may also be a complete departure from how it's worked to date.  So what?  Show flexibility and effort.  If we seek this in our staff, we should represent that.  We can share with the executive team what it means to inspire based upon lasting criteria rather than a flash in the pan.

Secondly, celebrate.  The successes, the wins, the records set...all of it.  Pizza on Fridays is not celebrating anything proactive.  That is a reactive gesture.  "Aren't you glad the week is over?"  "Thank God we only have two more hours of work after this pizza."  "Pizza, again?!"  Is this what we really hope to send as messaging or hear in return?  I doubt it.

Celebration is not just about the past.  When we celebrate a birthday, we appreciate all that a person is and has done over the past year and further back.  But also, the fact that he/she is with us today and what we wish for and know this person will be about as the next year progresses.  Wouldn't it be sad to say, "Happy Birthday! We know that this past year was okay and we really don't expect more from you, but we're celebrating your mediocre life" (that has a bit of a greeting card flow to it, doesn't it?).  We choose to celebrate to reflect on success and to establish a future plan of building upon it.  It sets a tone and creates a vision of what success should look like.

People want to have impact.  The movies mentioned early on resonate because of that basic premise within people.  It's why a song like, "Roar" by Katy Perry means something.  We want to be recognized for our strength, for our contribution, for our relationship-impact, for our value.  It is something we can do for our teams.

Get in the frame of mind.  Close your door.  Stand on your desk.  Play this video at a loud volume.  Get inspired and roar.  Really.  Out loud.  Roar like a lion.  Okay, I can't swear that this is exactly what you should do to get started, but I am loving the visual...

Ribbon in the Sky

Success stories are a standard in marketing.  In the health and wellness industry, for example, weight loss companies like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and NurtiSystem spend millions on celebrity testimonials.  And some of these celebrities have seen a resurgence in their careers as a result, like Marie Osmond, Kirstie Alley, Valerie Bertinelli, etc.  We love to see the dramatic difference in the before and after shots.  Those photos inspire and amaze us.  We celebrate the victory with that celebrity (like we know them or something). 

Victory is a great achievement.  It's worth celebrating.  Losing weight is a great accomplishment, but it is not the only accomplishment worth celebrating.  In our organizations, we have employees reaching and exceeding goals.  Are we celebrating?

As some of you know, I am big on expectations and measurement.  I believe that it's necessary to set clear expectations and goals and then follow up to measure how those things are being implemented, reached and if there is a need for change in approach.  We need to set our staff up for success right from the start.  I am, also, a believer of celebrating with those who meet or exceed those expectations and goals.

In ancient times, the act of erecting a monument to recognize a victory was commonplace.  Great kings and conquerors took pride in the work they were doing (however terrible it might have been now that we look back) and as such, wanted every traveler who came into the territory to know.  While building a monument out of stone and marble might not be practical or cost-efficient, we can recognize those achievements in public and lasting ways.

It's also okay to recognize types of accomplishments differently.  Someone who meets the quota they were given might not deserve a huge fanfare in comparison to the one who superseded his/her quota by 50%.  The type of recognition might vary, but the act of at least throwing a ribbon in the sky is what matters.  Motivation from the recognition is a fact.

The Maritz Institute encourages use of a BET technique.  

• B - State the Behavior.  Let employees know what's expected of them and how it will be measured.  
• E - State the Effect.  The employees can handle understanding how what they do will impact the whole.  Let them know what difference they are making by performing the desired behavior.  
• T - Thank you! Recognize what an employee does out of a spirit of gratitude.

And I know the other side of it. I know that we're inundated with gift cards and online point-earnings that can lead to fabulous trips.  I know that we're not interested in one more initiative to manage.  I know that we're promised the world by technology providers but, at some level, we've got to manage it.  I get it.  And what I, also, get is that the CBA (cost benefit analysis) around recognition is worth the time and effort.  Employees who get to raise their hands in victory by the encouragement of their managers are more likely to learn new skills, to creatively think through current work processes and to lead those around them to a higher level of output.  Those are some pretty good reasons to build a monument.

Grab a couple of employees this week or next and test it out.  Recognize goals met or exceeded.  Share it with teams and divisions.  Throw a few "atta boys" out there in public.  The time spent will be well worth it if it's done consistently and with genuine enthusiasm (not an over-the-top-obviously-not-heartfelt attitude).  

And now, I am going to take some pictures with the current monument to victory...an unopened ice cream container in the freezer that's been mocking me since it's been brought into the home.  Yeah, baby, willpower!

Shake Your Groove Thing

I can recall winning a dance contest when I was 8 years old.  It was at a birthday party for a friend.  There were what seemed like 50 kids crammed into a small South Philadelphia row home.  We all had been sufficiently sugared up - candy buttons, small wax bottles filled with candy liquid, pixie stix and more.  There were games of all sorts being played and prizes awarded - jump ropes, hula hoops, that paddle and ball on a rubber band infuriating torture toy, etc.  But for the dance contest, there was a cash prize of $5.  For a kid in the late 70's, that represented 500 Red Hot Dollars (back when they were actually cinnamon and hot rather than raspberry like now) at Lou's Variety.

The music came on and my body began to show off some pretty dynamic moves.  Kids were all smiles as they watched in amazement (or maybe they were laughing at me, but I like my version better).  After it was over, I secured my $5 and received compliments from friends and the parents of the birthday girl.  Everyone knew at that moment that I could dance,  including me.

In our organizations, I believe that our outlets of creativity and expression have a place.  While I would not jump on my desk and bust a move (yeah, I just said that), I use those creative opportunities to prep me for engagement at work.  Energy levels are up when I dance or workout or have an opportunity to cook a great meal the night before or read a great book or swim in the ocean or...you get the idea.

Look to what you love and channel that in the work you do.  Focus on the energies and levels of health it gives you.  Our companies do well when we encourage staff to find and embrace talents and outlets.  Employees show increased engagement scores when companies encourage these outlets.  Organizations like Starbucks, Harrods and Pixar bake into their mission language commitment to creativity in their employees and fostering any opportunities to participate.  The investment of encouragement does not cost a company very much - some time in conversation and affirmation.

One of the truths from such creative pursuits is that it gives us a chance to do something in freedom.  The rules aren't seen as rules but rather parameters for us to be free.  Think of boxing, for example.  Gyms are offering forms of boxing as an exercise alternative.  To box, you have to have an opponent, a ring, some gloves and timed rounds.  Those rules are not burdensome but serve to surround so that the participants can focus their efforts on boxing with style and form, with paced breathing and movement and with concentration on his/her opponent.  The rules aren't seen the same way that the rule about not eating at your desk at work is seen.  We enjoy the freedom.

However, one point that presents difficulty for some is the identification of such interests.  For some folks, knowing what makes them energized is not so apparent.  They have hobbies, but sometimes those hobbies have become chores.  Scrapbooking is a great example.  When you start a hobby like this, the joys might be in the organization of the area to work, reviewing tons of photos and the memories recalled and the completion of the first book.  Nice.  By the 8th book, people start to think about "just getting it done" because it's taking too much time and the creative outlet it was supposed to be is now a mess on a desk.  

Suggestion: take an assessment.  Just what you'd expect from an HR guy, right?  Well, right.  We believe in assessments for work improvements, right?  Please be nodding your head yes.  We use skill inventory surveys, compatibility exercises, personality testing and the like all to improve our culture, the fit among our people and to explore new veins of growth from within.  Why would it be a shock to encourage the same testing usage for passions?  If we want to develop people, it cannot be in a vacuum of work.  Who they are is who comes to work.  By providing some tools to help those who don't know what they love or how to use what they love to energize their lives, we are helping to impact the whole person, which includes the one who comes to work!

Do a little research on these tools.  There are many out there so be careful.  Look for data and responses from people who've used it.  Take some of them yourself.  Maybe you'll be reminded of passions that you've long since laid aside for some reason.  Dancing, singing, working out, painting, cooking, sewing, playing sports, fixing cars...find out what makes you alive.  And then, do it.  Shake that groove thing.

I still dance (much to the dismay of my kids).  I can wobble, dougie, slide, gangham style and some party rock anthem moves.  It's funny to watch me do the running man, pop and lock and bust out some Kid 'N Play moves from back in the day.  It's a great release and always makes me smile.  And so, at work, when someone walks over to me to complain about the choices in the vending machine (again!), I can keep a right perspective and a healthy mental outlook because of the outlets I have and am using.  I might be swinging my hips back and forth while he/she is talking to me, but hey, at least it's on beat.

Running on Ice

Efficient living.  Oxymoronic?  Yes.  Everyday I wake up to the schedule I re-tweak from the night before and try to squeeze as much stuff into the time allotted to me each day (it's still 24 hours, but I have put a request for reconsideration).  There are clients to meet, HR work that they need done, advice to give that is relied upon (which means effort in thought) and a business to be developed.  Manageable, yes, but only if I didn't also have a family to spend time with, invest in and enjoy.  There are also friends to be with, working out, eating, sleeping....well, you get it.

I can actually feel your head nodding in agreement as you read.  I am not alone and neither are you.  We are so full that it's no wonder so many of us struggle with depression and anxiety.  And to top it off, do the majority of us feel as though our time is being used well?  With many companies still working under the "doing more with less" philosophy of talent management, our employees feel this, too.

All of the ideals that used to energize us and we would pursue with passion have become chores and duties.  We've allowed our focus to be on schedules and meetings rather than conversation and passion.  Simple to say, but true nonetheless.  So we have to consider and adjust.  For instance, look at what you've done over the past two weeks of work.  How much of it was truly productive?  

I had the absolute privilege of speaking with someone recently who shared honestly that as successful as he was, he had allowed his self-esteem to be tied to his performance at work.  He was valuable and regarded as such.  This pushed him to work even harder to keep that status.  In doing so, he lost sight of him.  He began to see himself as only about this one successful role, this role that kept him swallowed.  I found myself nodding in agreement with him.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  Your company sees real, true, measurable value in what you do and how you do it.  Your company wants to encourage more of that behavior and those results (and rightly so).  Your company is where you spend a good bit, if not the majority, of your time.  It is very easy to tie who you are to what you do in this one, albeit large, area.

The cycle looks just like running on ice.  You keep putting effort into the motion of running, but it's not very pretty and it really doesn't get you as far as you think.  Perhaps there is success in what you are doing, but is it as successful as it could be?  The baseball player who is hitting .213 may not seem so great, but he does if the rest of team is batting under 200.  It's relative.  You can advance in placement when running on ice, but the return on the effort exerted is not good.  As a former runner (dang right knee!), I have experienced the thrill (is there such a thing in running?) of moving on asphalt, rubberized tracks, wooded trails and miles of roadway.  My motion is different on those surfaces and I had to make adjustments.  Efficiency in running is connected to how smooth and fluid you can make each motion.  Movement of arms and legs, head position and breathing are some of the areas to bring together in cohesion for one fluid movement.

We often don't get to react fluidly.  We get to react.  Our lives move from being planned by us to being dictated by a thousand other things.  Control is needed.  Think about your movement.  

I know that there are happenings in life that you cannot plan for - death, injury, care for a parent, etc. - but that's not what I mean by control.  Ask some pointed questions of yourself.  Can I not participate in this meeting and trust that those involved can handle it without me?  Can I delegate more effectively?  Do I know the skill sets and aptitudes of my team?  How I can free burden from another worker, too?  How can we leverage each other better?  Examine your environment.

The staff you are with is dealing with the same.  Perhaps working through efficient use of time with managers would be helpful.  They, then, can take that training back to their departments and teams.  Leveraging time well will lead to an increase in productivity.  But bear in mind that if most of us deal with a difficulty in managing our own time, then how would a manager feel equipped to help others.  Let's provide some tools!  Not everything "urgent" is important.  We should teach others that truth.

Start with you.  Sometimes, the summer months allow for a vacation or perhaps a couple of days off.  Might I challenge you to use a hour or two of it to work through this perspective?  Have you been running on ice?  Have you seen a loss of passion?  Why?  What can you do to approach it differently?  Are you moving so much but feeling like your not getting very far or making a lasting difference?  Have you allowed yourself to be defined by what you do?  The way you view your schedule might shed some light on this.

As I get ready for another day of 90+ degrees as part of the East Coast heatwave, I kinda like thinking about running on ice.  It's a heck of a lot cooler than running on the black top of the roadways around Philadelphia.  However, those runs really allow me to think clearer about my goals and whether the life I live daily are moving me towards them.  If that breakaway would be helpful for you, then grab an ice cube and some water and get moving!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

#culture is a hash tag trending topic on Twitter.  I see some great thought leaders on this subject post idea after idea.  I enjoy reading them and sometimes find myself drifting into "Thought World" and losing track of time.  I have to pay the bills somehow so back to work!

While at #shrm13 in Chicago last week, I couldn't help but be bombarded with some more ideas and considerations by the fleet of speakers on hand.  So, as someone who looks to culture often to help with any organizational diagnosis I am asked to do, have my thoughts changed or expanded?

Simply, no, but largely, yes (Uh oh, am I having a moment here?).  Company's are to ask themselves a very simple question - What are we going to be about?  That is the basic question that has to be asked and answered.  Talent is interested in knowing the answer to this question.  Interviewing is not just about the company finding out about the candidate, but the reverse as well.  The candidate wants to see if you know what your company is all about.  Failure happens quickly here.

Organizations who do not know who they are fall apart.  They don't know what initiatives to start and stick with rather than start and know an end to it (it's okay to do this, by the way).  Some companies float aimlessly hoping that whatever they throw against the wall will leave a residue of something that works.  Culture is now defined.  People recognize that their intrinsic worth for the organization is only about "what can you do for me?"

Listen, I know that our employees are there to be productive and to increase the profitability of the company as a result.  That's not a secret to an employee.  However, when it's all that there is, then the culture is established as only being about that.  Depth is lost.  Knowledge investment and the capitalization of it is not a priority.  Organizational attractiveness and vibrancy doesn't exist; the mechanic of the company is all that there is.

So, again, what do you want to be about?  Let me ask this: what difference would it make to your organization if you had employees who were emotionally bought in to the mission of the company?  What if they understood that, while their skills are important to the success of the organization, they were to bring their creativity, passion and openness to work everyday?  And, what if they knew that the company valued those aspects and would take action in light of them?  You see, saying you want an honest dialogue with everyone means very little if nothing ever comes from those discussions.  

I have walked into organizations that encourage open discussion and sharing.  After the meeting is held and heads nod in agreement, it's right back to the same old same old.  Culture is then defined.  The actions of the organization win out every time over pithy slogans in the lobby or a letterhead with the mission statement on it.  If I tell my kids I love them but most of what I do sends a different message, then will they believe me?

Learning new components as to how to deliver messaging around culture or how to consider culture in light of the competitive climate today is fun.  I enjoy it.  However, it builds upon the foundational question that companies need to ask themselves.  When we ask talent to sign on the dotted line of the offer letter, we have to be prepared to honor that commitment in return.  It's our duty to establish what we want to be about and to lead our talent accordingly.  We are the ones who invisibly sign such a contract.

The new employee should not be looked at to fix it for the company.  "Well, if we hire Jennifer then she will get this all fixed" is not fair to Jennifer.  It's a company with lots of people and decision-makers.  We're not spectators.  We, too, are signed and sealed to the health of the organization which includes culture definition.  If organizations take the time to think deeply and act upon this commitment, I believe that there would be a strengthening of market share and global positioning.  

It's time to deliver on this commitment.

A Moment Like This

You know, I am going to see Kelly Clarkson next week.  She is awesome.  I don't know if you're a fan of American Idol.  I used to be, especially that first year.  Kelly was the perfect choice and embodied the hopes and dreams of other undiscovered talent.  She gave others a vision for what could be.  She set the stage, literally, for others to shoot for the moon.  And in that finale, when she gets choked up singing her first hit, A Moment Like This, I join her in being teary-eyed and overwhelmed at what had just happened.  

I am very excited to be going to SHRM13 to see her and, hopefully, to sing with her.  She doesn't know it yet, but security ought to know that I am planning on singing backup for one song.  Please don't escort me back to my seat, Mr. Big Bouncer...it's cool.  Right, Kelly?  Pretty please?

I don't think it much matters as to whether it's singing or dancing or typing or preparing reports or selling or litigating, when you find the right fit, it's exhilarating.  Finding someplace where you belong is everyone's ideal; we're wired for it.  We want to be a part of a community.  Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs 3rd Stage is Love/Belonging.  We need this engagement level to be met for holistic living and healthy growth.

If you are looking for a job, don't settle on this point.  I know it's easy to say, but I would want to encourage you to find that role that excites, empowers and challenges you.  Be vigilant in finding that role.  Study companies and look for what they offer employees, not just in compensation or health benefits, but in team-building and in knowledge enrichment.  Where can you grow?  With whom would you want to grow?

We would do well to remember that the candidates we're meeting with are trying to find a role.  It's been tough for some of them.  Some may feel like they've been waiting a lifetime for that one special job.  They often try to put their best foot forward and make a great impression.  

In my career, I have a friend, Matt, who has worked for me twice.  I am a couple of years older than Matt (stop laughing, Matt) and we were friends prior to him coming to work for me.  He wanted to work for a company that would invest in him and encourage him to greatness.  Tall order for any company, I know.  What Matt decided was based upon the relationship we had.  He already felt invested into and knew that he had grown as I had coached him a bit.  I knew that he was a hard worker and coachable.  When he secured a job at a company I was working for, he was elated.  And he did this again when I moved to a different company.  We don't work together now, but we still maintain our friendship.  He has used those times when he was invested into as a basis for discerning future opportunities.

Why isn't that the way it is more often?  Why can't we encourage that type of desire within our teams?  One area of typical failure is onboarding.  We don't do a good job, classically.  We spend so much time sourcing, screening, interviewing, testing, etc., that by the time we find the right candidate, we are exhausted.  "Yay, we are so glad you are here!" is our first day gush to a new hire. And very quickly, that same day, we check out and hope the person stays in the cubicle for the entire day.  That's what we now call a win?

Honestly, it should be more like Kelly Clarkson's win.  We should be enthusiastic about his/her future.  We should decide how to market this person to the others he/she will be working with regularly.  We should consider the deposits of culture seriously; decide on what we want messaging to be.  Leading them on a brisk office tour (just to get it done) is not effective onboarding.  Where is the excitement?  We, too, as a company should be thrilled to have found the right person!

I know that we don't always find the right person.  I know that as a result, our recruitment has become less fun and more task-oriented.  We have relegated the process to filling a role rather than finding the ideal candidate.  I know we talk about strategy and culture, but at the end of the day, we often fall back into a "get 'er done" mentality.  Let's put the brakes on and turn the car around!

Listen, it's not just about the enthusiasm or emotionality of the onboarding, it's about the stability of the company, the suite of training for the new hires and the organizational commitment language observed and heard.  These facets take work and take time, but they will produce a substantial return on investment.  Be long-term in your view!

So, consider how we welcome and introduce new hires.  What should they know about the company after being there for one day?  One week?  One month? Look at that list and decide on how those objectives of learning will be met.  And celebrate all the way through those learning opportunities.  Make the culture more vibrant and healthier.

I am not saying to have fireworks fall from the ceiling like they did for Kelly when she won Idol, but maybe a sparkler wouldn't hurt.