The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Is it really?  I heard a woman severely curse off a Walmart Customer Service representative, while the woman’s 2 year-old child was in tow listening to every word.  I have had quite a few people tell me this is the worst time of year.  I have seen more than the usual amount of birds being flipped out of car windows on the highway.  And I have observed a toddler lose their mind on the streets of NYC because his mother wouldn’t buy him the toy he needed.  Ah, the holidays.

And when I walk through the halls of companies, I see employees devoid of emotion going through the task-management of the holiday season with no connection to one another or to the joy of the season.  I see managers with scowls, associates with the faintest hint of a fake smile and HR people stressed out of their minds due to W2’s, ACA 1095’s, compliance reporting, labor law updates, minimum wage changes and the list goes on.

Know what I say?  Enjoy the time.  Embrace the thrill of the season.  Go to a department store or mall and watch the little kids excitedly get on Santa’s lap.  Find those who have not yet been jaded by life and have learned to hate this time.  Change the vantage point you’re working from.

True followers of behavioral modification will tell you that change happens now.  Just make the change, that’s the easy part.  Stop with the frown and get on with the smile.  And yet, the trick in behavioral modification is sustainability.  What can be done to keep behavior changed?  How does the decision I’ve made today last longer than just today?

For all people, it comes down to the same decision being made every day.  Today may be the first day, but there are more days to consider and decide on.  I know for me that today has enough troubles of its own, so I don’t need to travel too far down the road of what might be in days to come.  Focus on today first.  What am I doing and why?

For those with real pain that seems to pierce the veil during the holiday season, I hear you.  Take courage because there are many in the same boat.  Find each other and decide to be a reason for joy for him/her.  Look for ways to serve others and watch how much the burden lifts from you.  It’s not idealistic; it’s psychological. 

My friend +Steve Browne often speaks of being positive in HR.  One of the best ways to do it is to foster deliberate and simple steps to think differently.  We don’t have to have our Master’s degrees or 300 letters after our names to be able to affect change in thought and dynamic.  We have to inspire others to make healthy decisions for themselves and, in turn, for the organization.  Our culture is impacted greatly by such an attitude in staff.

When I watch “Elf” each season, I am always struck by the forced conformity placed upon Buddy by his father and the world around him.  His overly enthusiastic self is asked to be buttoned down into a suit and tie.  He rebels, puts back on the elf suit and reconnects with Santa.  The rebellion is based upon a decision.  He decides to return to the positivity of what he knows.  We, too, have the choice to return to the positivity of what we know.  You're always going to have a new law to adhere to; we always do so don't stress.  Get the elf suit on and enjoy this time of year!

For the Love of Money

Is money the only reward we push?  I have had the consistent message of money in my face all week.  Money is all over the place and is a constant source of stress for individuals, couples, families and businesses.  Just look at the US Government; the shut down is all about money.  Who has it and who does not.

Everyone wants to make more and spend more.  Powerball and MegaMillions are national stories every week.  We want so much to make "bank." We regard success as based upon how much you make and what that gets you.  As I sit in Miami today, I see tons of Maseratis, Porsches and beyond.  The status behind the stuff has value here and elsewhere.  

Remember the first season of The Apprentice?  A bunch of people gathered together to learn from Donald Trump as to how to be successful (dysfunctional) business people.  It was a hit and we were glued.  And the main push for each "employee"?  Money.

And the rub is that most surveys show that compensation is not the primary driver for employees.  How can this be?  If we all want stuff and need cash-money to make it happen, then that should be tops, right?  Instead, we see recognition, efficiency, loyalty, purpose and effectiveness as tops on various reports and surveys.  Money cannot buy these things (the Mob tried to do this and it didn't work for them...how do we expect it to work for us?).

So, why the intense efforts around compensation as opposed to these other higher scoring characteristics?  Two realities seem to jump out to me.

First, putting the time into efficiency and effectiveness, for example, takes more time.  We seem to be okay to throw money at a problem or situation, sometimes even without a plan.  But, the thought of putting efforts into strategizing and being deliberate about enacting change is exhausting.  Here's the deal, though, if we don't start doing it, these same people will continue to leave our companies and take the knowledge, skills and aptitudes that we need.  As much as the effort costs, in terms of time and prioritization, we need to do it.

Set aside time to sketch out the framework of strategy around talent management.  Consider opportunities to influence recognition and purpose.  How can employees have some input in these areas?  Generate buy-in through inclusion.  Ask for ideas around efficiency and then recognize those great ideas.

But the second issue could be the executive team.  You may be on point with the planning component  and put together a framework, but when you presented it to senior leadership, they said "oh, thank you."  And after that, it went to the bottom of a pile never to be shown the light of day again.  So, what to do?  Build a business case.  Use real numbers around engaged employees versus non-engaged.  Use benchmark data to show stats behind your perspective.  Make it real to the bottom line.

Measure what productivity has been like over the past five years.  Is it down?  Up?  Why?  Just lucky?  More demand?  Great talent?  How do you know?  Answer those questions and you can start to lay a foundation for the business case.

Let's be deliberate in our business partnership in this arena.  We know what is ultimately driving employees and money is not the top answer.  By the way, I am not saying it doesn't matter because it does (it kinda helps to be able to pay your mortgage, you know?).  However, from a percentage standpoint, we spend more time on comp analysis and related issues than we do running after the real top answers.  Money is important, but it is not the primary motivator. We know it so let's act on what we know.

Running on Ice

Efficient living.  Oxymoronic?  Yes.  Everyday I wake up to the schedule I re-tweak from the night before and try to squeeze as much stuff into the time allotted to me each day (it's still 24 hours, but I have put a request for reconsideration).  There are clients to meet, HR work that they need done, advice to give that is relied upon (which means effort in thought) and a business to be developed.  Manageable, yes, but only if I didn't also have a family to spend time with, invest in and enjoy.  There are also friends to be with, working out, eating, sleeping....well, you get it.

I can actually feel your head nodding in agreement as you read.  I am not alone and neither are you.  We are so full that it's no wonder so many of us struggle with depression and anxiety.  And to top it off, do the majority of us feel as though our time is being used well?  With many companies still working under the "doing more with less" philosophy of talent management, our employees feel this, too.

All of the ideals that used to energize us and we would pursue with passion have become chores and duties.  We've allowed our focus to be on schedules and meetings rather than conversation and passion.  Simple to say, but true nonetheless.  So we have to consider and adjust.  For instance, look at what you've done over the past two weeks of work.  How much of it was truly productive?  

I had the absolute privilege of speaking with someone recently who shared honestly that as successful as he was, he had allowed his self-esteem to be tied to his performance at work.  He was valuable and regarded as such.  This pushed him to work even harder to keep that status.  In doing so, he lost sight of him.  He began to see himself as only about this one successful role, this role that kept him swallowed.  I found myself nodding in agreement with him.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  Your company sees real, true, measurable value in what you do and how you do it.  Your company wants to encourage more of that behavior and those results (and rightly so).  Your company is where you spend a good bit, if not the majority, of your time.  It is very easy to tie who you are to what you do in this one, albeit large, area.

The cycle looks just like running on ice.  You keep putting effort into the motion of running, but it's not very pretty and it really doesn't get you as far as you think.  Perhaps there is success in what you are doing, but is it as successful as it could be?  The baseball player who is hitting .213 may not seem so great, but he does if the rest of team is batting under 200.  It's relative.  You can advance in placement when running on ice, but the return on the effort exerted is not good.  As a former runner (dang right knee!), I have experienced the thrill (is there such a thing in running?) of moving on asphalt, rubberized tracks, wooded trails and miles of roadway.  My motion is different on those surfaces and I had to make adjustments.  Efficiency in running is connected to how smooth and fluid you can make each motion.  Movement of arms and legs, head position and breathing are some of the areas to bring together in cohesion for one fluid movement.

We often don't get to react fluidly.  We get to react.  Our lives move from being planned by us to being dictated by a thousand other things.  Control is needed.  Think about your movement.  

I know that there are happenings in life that you cannot plan for - death, injury, care for a parent, etc. - but that's not what I mean by control.  Ask some pointed questions of yourself.  Can I not participate in this meeting and trust that those involved can handle it without me?  Can I delegate more effectively?  Do I know the skill sets and aptitudes of my team?  How I can free burden from another worker, too?  How can we leverage each other better?  Examine your environment.

The staff you are with is dealing with the same.  Perhaps working through efficient use of time with managers would be helpful.  They, then, can take that training back to their departments and teams.  Leveraging time well will lead to an increase in productivity.  But bear in mind that if most of us deal with a difficulty in managing our own time, then how would a manager feel equipped to help others.  Let's provide some tools!  Not everything "urgent" is important.  We should teach others that truth.

Start with you.  Sometimes, the summer months allow for a vacation or perhaps a couple of days off.  Might I challenge you to use a hour or two of it to work through this perspective?  Have you been running on ice?  Have you seen a loss of passion?  Why?  What can you do to approach it differently?  Are you moving so much but feeling like your not getting very far or making a lasting difference?  Have you allowed yourself to be defined by what you do?  The way you view your schedule might shed some light on this.

As I get ready for another day of 90+ degrees as part of the East Coast heatwave, I kinda like thinking about running on ice.  It's a heck of a lot cooler than running on the black top of the roadways around Philadelphia.  However, those runs really allow me to think clearer about my goals and whether the life I live daily are moving me towards them.  If that breakaway would be helpful for you, then grab an ice cube and some water and get moving!

Nasty

Often I walk into offices and am greeted by smiling people.  They are happy to see me.  They shake my hand heartily; some hug me as our relationship has been years in the making (don't worry, during work, it's an affirming side-hug that's HR-approved).  I am fortunate to know so many wonderful business friends and colleagues.  And yet, I was struck this week by the amount of time spent on relational issues.

At the workplace, I get to hear about how so-and-so told so-and-so about how such-and-such happened.  And from that, the hurt feelings, the anger, the retaliatory talk all began.  My opinion is then asked for in how to deal with it and how to make it so these types of incidents don't happen, or at least reduce in number. 

And so, I do some research into the company.  I look at how functions and processes flow.  I observe managerial interaction.  I look at how the executive team engages with all levels of employees.  And then I make some recommendations to better align or even fix some issues in process, procedure and/or organization.  And while I know those recommendations and action plans are used and appreciated.  There's often one item that I don't put on the list because it's too hard to manage.

We, as a people, struggle to be gracious.  I know, I know, we are the most generous country and help more countries than anywhere else.  I agree and there's no argument there.  We do know, to a degree, how good we have it.  However, those interactions are distant.  We can text our donation to the Red Cross and not have to engage any further.  It only cost us $10.

Graciousness is seen in action.  When it comes to an interaction with a co-worker, do you err on the side of grace in conversation?  Perhaps the person you are talking to is a dunderhead (tough word, I know) and it's all you can do not tell him/her so.  Count backwards from 10 and stay in the conversation.  Think of ways to help rather than tear apart.  Think about this: how can I impact this person for good today? If we're all about reacting and being nasty, what will that profit us?

More time, resources and money are spent on relational problems than any company would care to measure.  We should think like a business owner every day.  What will I do to make sure this company is moving forward and not mired in time wasting?  Extending grace to someone is not over-rated.  In fact, quite the opposite.  Consider the other person.  For as annoying as that person might be, think about what may have happened in that person's life for he/she to be this way.  I don't mean this judgmentally, but rather, compassionately.

If someone who was abused as a child is now defensive in most conversations, it is understandable.  If someone who had been stabbed in the back by a co-worker at a previous job keeps his/her guard up and won't engage with the rest of the team as desired, it's understandable.  Notice that I am using the word "understandable" rather than "excusable."  There will be reasons for these folks to move beyond the behavior they demonstrate or the language they use in order to contribute effectively in their role, but it's unlikely that those employees will be willing to do so without first being understood.

We might be too quick to jump on someone for something they say.  Please understand, again, that I do not find any inappropriate or conflict-starting verbiage or actions acceptable.  What I do know is that I would rather meet this person with grace to understand so that he/she would have the guard down to receive instruction and coaching.  I have had to train myself (not that I am a total expert by any means) to not assume the worst in conversations or to have my back up the moment a particular individual talks to me.  I realize this may be very tough for some, but it's something to examine.

Our time is valuable.  Our companies are trying to make money every day to keep the doors open and the lights on.  When we engage in marginal conflict with another employee, when we don't want to understand someone else, when we think we've arrived and everyone else has the problem, then we jeopardize the health of our company.

I do feel the need to mention, however, that if you are dealing with a co-worker who is clearly using offensive language or abusive engagement, then you ought to seek out your HR professional for assistance.  Something needs to be done about that.

So, the next time you feel tension coming on due to a co-worker's approach or due to something someone has said, breathe.  Count backwards and think big picture.  Offer grace and trust in the fact that the likelihood of repair and correction will come as a result of the initial reaction.  As Ms. Jackson says, "Nasty boys (and girls) don't do a thing for me."  Grace allows the attractiveness of relationship to be forged deeper and, in the business community, will allow for better investment of time, money and resources to move beyond the petty.

Because of You

When Kelly Clarkson belts out this haunting tune, my heart breaks.  I can honestly feel her pain.  Allowing someone into your life so that he/she can just rip you to shreds...awful.  Sometimes, however, you don't really get to choose who gets to be in your life...like your boss.  The person you interview with at a company seems lovely and (if there is one) the RJP - real job preview - goes swimmingly as everyone is on their best behavior to try to impress you.  It's like a first date, really (I am trying to remember that far back).

Over the summer, I read some unbelievable statistics.  The World Health Organization stated that it costs American businesses $300 billion per year in employee stress-related medical issues, including increased healthcare insurance costs (http://www.who.int/research/en/).  On top of that, USA Today reported that 75% of employees surveyed stated that their immediate boss is the most stressful part of their job (http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/workplace/story/2012-08-05/apa-mean-bosses/56813062/1).  Ugh!  What a horrible indictment of management.  How can such a truth not be more addressed in the workplace?

But my focus on this is not for the manager, but for the employee.  When I was very young in my professional career, I was tasked to create a culture of learning in the organization for which I was working.  I studied up on what a learning organization is like, what kinds of strategies should be used to roll that out and surveyed employees to find out how some deficiencies could be addressed.  The roll-out was better than I could have hoped, and even better, after 90 days of initial implementation, there were real metrics that showed improvement and cost-effectiveness.  I was super-psyched!  And that all came crashing down when my direct supervisor caught up with me at the end of a workday to let me know that he did not approve of the style of font used in some of the internal marketing.  Excuse me?  Did you just say "font"?

Well, needless to say, I was sick.  Worse yet, the supervisor documented his comments on my performance review.  Now the word "font" was on my permanent record.  But, to remind you, I was young in my career.  I was so stressed by his critical nature that I made myself sick, to the point of contracting mono due to how worn-down I had made myself.  So, now, I got to spend three weeks resting and stewing over how much criticism I would receive when I returned to work.

So, why do I tell you this?  Because of him, I allowed myself to get sick.  My employment contract had become my life contract.  What it did to me was rob me of professional growth in some areas, but it also robbed me of my life outside of work.  I allowed it.  I gave power to that manager that he did not deserve.  You see, I finally realized that I was to do a great job at work for me.  I needed to impress myself first.  That manager was allowed to mess with my head, and I let him do it.  I allowed font styles to override metrics of success.  Opinion overruled fact.  And I let it happen.

As an employee, there is no denying the need to learn.  You've got to know what you don't know and find a way to learn it.  Seek out experts, watch the good habits of those who've been at the company for a while, ask a manager for suggestions for improvement, be vigilant in excellence.  You have the power to be successful in your role and it can be measured.

A Human Resources professional can work with management and their teams to enjoin appropriate expectations to output.  The HR manager can help employees understand how their work ethic and effort should align to corporate mission.  Management can be trained in developing performance indicators to share with their team.  These tools will help to balance preference with data.  

Opinion does matter and it should be given some consideration. You do want to perform well and meet expectations, but be sure to know how much of it is to meet someone's esteem issues or fear.  The manager I described was threatened by the success.  A 22 year-old kid should not have had such a winning roll-out, but I did.  My manager was not ready for that, but it didn't change the truth of what had happened.  

For those of you struggling with your managers, take a step back and figure out why.  Is the answer as simple as "well, he's a jerk" or something similar?  Even if he/she is a jerk, what does that do to you?  Can you really not do your job because of it?  Couldn't the people in the organization I was with still be set up for success in learning even though my manager was a jerk?  You bet.  My job was to do a great job.  I had to answer to myself first for the work I was doing.

And in my experience, when you answer to you first (not only), you will meet, if not surpass, the expectations of management.  Then, those who've benefited from your work will share their success with you.  And they might even tell you it happened because of you.