The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Is it really?  I heard a woman severely curse off a Walmart Customer Service representative, while the woman’s 2 year-old child was in tow listening to every word.  I have had quite a few people tell me this is the worst time of year.  I have seen more than the usual amount of birds being flipped out of car windows on the highway.  And I have observed a toddler lose their mind on the streets of NYC because his mother wouldn’t buy him the toy he needed.  Ah, the holidays.

And when I walk through the halls of companies, I see employees devoid of emotion going through the task-management of the holiday season with no connection to one another or to the joy of the season.  I see managers with scowls, associates with the faintest hint of a fake smile and HR people stressed out of their minds due to W2’s, ACA 1095’s, compliance reporting, labor law updates, minimum wage changes and the list goes on.

Know what I say?  Enjoy the time.  Embrace the thrill of the season.  Go to a department store or mall and watch the little kids excitedly get on Santa’s lap.  Find those who have not yet been jaded by life and have learned to hate this time.  Change the vantage point you’re working from.

True followers of behavioral modification will tell you that change happens now.  Just make the change, that’s the easy part.  Stop with the frown and get on with the smile.  And yet, the trick in behavioral modification is sustainability.  What can be done to keep behavior changed?  How does the decision I’ve made today last longer than just today?

For all people, it comes down to the same decision being made every day.  Today may be the first day, but there are more days to consider and decide on.  I know for me that today has enough troubles of its own, so I don’t need to travel too far down the road of what might be in days to come.  Focus on today first.  What am I doing and why?

For those with real pain that seems to pierce the veil during the holiday season, I hear you.  Take courage because there are many in the same boat.  Find each other and decide to be a reason for joy for him/her.  Look for ways to serve others and watch how much the burden lifts from you.  It’s not idealistic; it’s psychological. 

My friend +Steve Browne often speaks of being positive in HR.  One of the best ways to do it is to foster deliberate and simple steps to think differently.  We don’t have to have our Master’s degrees or 300 letters after our names to be able to affect change in thought and dynamic.  We have to inspire others to make healthy decisions for themselves and, in turn, for the organization.  Our culture is impacted greatly by such an attitude in staff.

When I watch “Elf” each season, I am always struck by the forced conformity placed upon Buddy by his father and the world around him.  His overly enthusiastic self is asked to be buttoned down into a suit and tie.  He rebels, puts back on the elf suit and reconnects with Santa.  The rebellion is based upon a decision.  He decides to return to the positivity of what he knows.  We, too, have the choice to return to the positivity of what we know.  You're always going to have a new law to adhere to; we always do so don't stress.  Get the elf suit on and enjoy this time of year!

Candy Everybody Wants

SMH.  How cool am I?  I know that SMH means “Shaking My Head” in text and social media chat.  OK, you might not think I am that cool, but I do (and isn’t that all that really matters? Ok, not really).  We do know that just because you know the latest slang, technology or fashion doesn’t make you relevant.  Relevance comes from true engagement.

OK, what the heck does that mean?  Sounds like the latest talking point for me to use as a keynote.  I can travel from SHRM Chapter to SHRM Chapter and sing the values of true engagement.  “For only $39.95, learn all of the secrets of true engagement that will transform your business, your marriage and your life! Act now and I’ll throw in a Ronco Potato Peeler absolutely free! (Just pay shipping and handling)”.  Nice, right?

True engagement is about connectivity.  For business-minded people, this means connection to competition, market conditions, market changes, talent trends in skill sets and training, strategies around retention and succession planning, etc.  I will be relevant when I am relevant.  I don’t look or sound relevant alone; I am to be relevant in what I do, too.  Often this requires an investment in time to determine where my resources are better spent moving forward.  I assess situations, weigh the facts, research what I don’t know and make decisions.  This screams of relevance.

As people, we yearn for connection to others, to ideals, to purpose.  When something is out of line, we seek to find a replacement for what’s missing.  One of my recent favorite actors died this week.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman could draw you in to the role he was playing.  You believed it was real.  You tracked with him.  You could connect with the performance.  Out of the limelight, he struggled with the same things we all struggle with – relationships, meaning, direction.  What he ran to for answers did not provide what he was ultimately looking for, but don’t think he’s alone in that.  I am not speaking of drug use, but on a grander scale, running to something easy to fill the deeper.

Our relevance is not bound to coolness.  When I sit and listen to someone pushing a book about how to be relevant to Gen Y, for example, I could get up and punch them in the middle of their speech. (I mean, slap them, ‘er, rather, give them a stern glare…ah, that’s more HR).  Tell me how to measure competition better, how to measure and read financials better, how to discover better talent and recruit more effectively.  That’s what will make me relevant to the workplace, not a Blu-ray in the breakroom or $5 Starbucks gift cards on an employee’s birthday (OK, I don’t really mind that one, but…). 

Your connection comes from putting yourself in places to be connected.  What are you spending your time on?  Is it profitable?  Is it bottom-line driven?  We are so much better than flash and glitz; we are substance.  Our purpose comes from pursuit of such things; work to fight against those things that would distract us from our meaning.  We have depth.  We bring purpose to the table for others to share.  We are relevant to our companies, our homes, and our country when we pursue connection to real, lasting principles.  For our business communities, these principles must be foundational and returned to time and again.

There will come a time when I will no longer be able to physically pursue some of these things, and as such, my relevance may slip.  May I remain strong in my core to not become discouraged.  My mind may want more, but my body may hold me back.  But maybe, by that time, the Ronco Relevance Infuser will be on the market.  Of course, I will be first in line…SMH