Colour My World

Know your audience.  I can’t tell you how many times that advice has come out of my mouth.  Very often, people get too comfortable too fast.  Quick rapport development is an appealing quality, to be sure, but not at the sacrifice of the demeanor of the formation.

Lots of locker room talk consideration over the past couple of weeks in light of the Donald Trump hot mic bus recordings being released.  He and Billy Bush quickly established a “buddy” relationship.  And while, the majority of response has been to condemn the words along with sentiment and systemic treatment of women, it would be unwise to consider it in such a small context.  Trump’s words have been repeated in locker rooms since I was old enough to change for gym class right up through board rooms since I was experienced enough to have an executive role. 

Period movies and television shows from the 50’s and early 60’s show the dichotomy of family life and business life.  The male character is a member of the 1^st Baptist or Presbyterian church in town with his wife and kids; they raise their kids to be good Americans, respectful students and to be seen and not heard.  At work, that same male may participate in an affair with his secretary, in shady business dealings to undercut another within the company, and in drinks at 3PM to discuss work and women with his boss.  Very stereotypical, I know, but much of the content and context in those period dramas.

Our audience is no longer known by look alone.  White boys chatting it up about a woman’s anatomy and ability to score isn’t an inclusive strategy for corporate culture.  You cannot make a decision just based upon look as our workplace is no longer a homogeneous pool.  And further, those who do look the same as you aren’t necessarily coming from the same background as you.  It’s a whole new world.  And whether it’s Donald Trump on a bus or Bill Clinton on a golf course, any commentary based upon those assumptions is more than unwise; it’s deadly to our culture.

In the small kingdoms we manage in our workplaces, we may not be able to change the world, but we can influence one sphere.  Of course, the liability around harassment is evident.  It’s not okay to allow language that demeans and cheapens another, whether based on sex, race, religion, medical history, orientation or age, to permeate a workplace.  It’s illegal, if not federally, then likely on a state level.  You have a responsibility to protect the company you represent.  Work for change to minimize such liability.

And yet, as people we may have a deeper responsibility than merely the law.  What are we telling the future about us?  Our ability to engage at this level is just what a role in management and in human resources should be focused upon.  Process improvement, sales objectives and growth planning are necessary and the core duty for some of you.  Don’t disregard those needs.  Yet, those strategies and duties can be offered in a better context. 

The drum beating for employee engagement is loud.  To what are we asking them to engage?  Our company?  OK.  So, what is our company like?  Do you really want them to be engaged in and to it?  Think of it as you might a romantic relationship.  As things progress, your love interest gets to see your quirks about washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.  This person, also, experiences you more fully, warts and all.  That relationship will likely require you to change some things – maybe you need to make the bed, to put your dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, to throw out your porn.  Whatever you need to do, you may do to make the environment for your relationship bloom and grow more. 

Those same considerations at the workplace should occur (If you have porn at the workplace…yikes.  Let’s talk offline).  What is the willingness of the executive team to sacrifice to allow the relationship of the company and its employees to bloom and grow?  If it’s locker room talk that needs to be addressed, then let it go.  Don’t make excuses for it.  Uncover biases and systemic limiters, and then remove them.  Inclusivity is a popular term, and a respectable one, but to what are we including people?  Once they see it, they may not want to be included.  What a sad possibility.  But it’s correctable.

It’s important to remember that this is not about politics.  That may have been the most recent context we’re seeing, but it’s not the only environment where such a lack of care about people is evident.  Our workplaces may be run by locker room talking, “real housewives” attitude-mongering, bulldozing leaders.  Confront it.  Categorizing people or a person in an unhealthy or demeaning manner is unacceptable.  Act upon it and work for change.

My life is full of strong women, Christians, disabled individuals, gay men, multi-cultural heritages and races.  I like them each individually.  And though I may look like you, please don’t come to me to share in a negative view or a demeaning approach regarding any of them or what they “represent.”  It’s not funny.  

Are We Ourselves?

Assertive versus Aggressive.  Confidence versus Conceit.  As a leader, we might display one over the other.  There was a guy I knew in high school who parlayed confidence into conceit on a regular basis.  He annoyed the crap out of me, but I found myself swimming in his lane to fight back.  I had become that rude jerk.  I was merely trying to be an assertive alpha male (my skinny frame didn't make it so easy to do....stupid track team), but it didn't translate that way to others.

While an assertive person channels and promotes good communication, the slide into aggression parlays that into interruption and talking over people.  It's a subtle slide.  There are characteristics that start healthy enough but then become twisted and contorted by a shifting foundation.

Is there something more lurking just a little deeper?  A lack of self-esteem may be at play.  It's not to say you don't have any self-esteem, but rather it's development might be askew.  Dr. Michael Miller, former editor in chief of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, says, “It’s more likely that self-esteem will come as a result of accurate self-understanding, appreciation of one’s genuine skills, and the satisfaction of helping others.”  As managers, is this our stance?

Observations for years show me how much management often find their identity in the work they do.  This becomes the basis for self-worth and self-esteem.  And this is a simple recipe for disaster.  When we base our esteem upon shifting sand, such as a particular organization, the work being done or even the people we work with, the foundation is based upon change.  People leave, we leave, the work changes and organizations are sold, merged, restructured or altered.  If we live for the company, we will be disappointed.

Our audience, however, might be receiving management poorly based upon the dilemma of assertive/aggressive or confidence/conceit.  Again, if it's a matter of self-esteem, your staff can easily identify the difference.  When a manager is over-the-top or a micro-manager, the talk among employees will start rather quickly.  It sets a tone for response that's based upon someone's individual needs (in this case, the manager) rather than the good of the whole.  Staff begin to look for ways to avoid the wrath of a manager or even seeing the manager at all.  These goals supersede the goals of the department in the work to be done.

Such a backwards setup.  We short-circuit the efforts towards our department's goals by the way in which we struggle to handle ourselves and the workload, for instance.  Help is an okay option.  It's not a sign of weakness, despite the possibility that your employer may think so.  And while I know your job is important to you (your finances, for example!), it cannot be that you should become less of the person you are or are meant to be.  Simple to say, right?  But what does it profit you to be aggressive, struggling with self-esteem or self-worth and not meet the goals you've set for work?  Right the ship.  Take the time necessary to unravel what's been going on.

Typically, managing the esteem of a manager is not on a job description, yet we see it happen.  Don't be the manager putting employees in this situation.  Get grounded outside of the work.  Then, when work needs to be done, it is a matter of how to best do it, apart from it fulfilling some esteem needs.  And while I am far from a self-help guru, I do know enough that there is truth that a person must discover for himself/herself that is separate from work, from a person or from status.  Take the time to examine yourself and find out what's true about you.

In human resources, we can find ourselves giving so much to others, which is a part of our job, that we tax our own foundation.  We must be sure to connect inwardly.

Pushing the envelope is worth it.  Don't fear being assertive.  It does matter in driving the goals of your department.  However, it is meant to be done with a specific goal in mind for the organization, not for your esteem.  If work defines you, take a small step back and look at the bigger picture.  Your role needs you to be as with it as possible.  You are the one in the role for a reason.  Get back to you.

Hungry Heart

Wandering happens.  People find that what once satisfied, no longer does.  Marriages have broken up, families have been fractured, jobs have been left because of it, hobbies lay in corners of basements or garages all over this country because of it.  We get bored and our eyes begin to look for the next biggest, baddest, best option.

When The First Wives' Club started, the divorcees had all experienced a cheating spouse.  A spouse who found "happiness" in the arms of another (younger) woman.  The spark of attraction that originally came from the first wife was replaced with bland familiarity, boredom and predictability.  Of course what follows is hilarity, a song and dance number and domestic earnings of over $100 million (and counting).  In the movies, this is an "of course"; in our real lives, the song and dance is not usually found.

The struggle to find connection pulls at the heart of any relationship, whether person to person or person to purpose.  Brokenness and disconnect make other options seem more appealing.  There is a longing for something so much more than what someone is living.  And knowing this is a tendency for many of us, what do we do about it?  If we serve in a position of influence, however small, what kind of difference can we make?

A job becomes stale and predictable, just as a relationship does, when there is no encouragement towards or opportunity for creativity.  The imaginative spark has been studied for decades, particularly in its symbiotic nature with organizational change.  Creativity pushes boundaries and considers what might be.  Think about how your organization would benefit from such a posture.  Wouldn't the organization change as a result?  Perhaps it's the development of a new product or process.  Perhaps the method of delivery is improved or completely made over.  In some measurable way, the creative outlets for staff will drive organizational change.

Think about the correlation to relationships.  Wouldn't approaching a date with enthusiastic creativity likely make the date memorable?  If it's just dinner, again, where is the imagination?  So many of my friends do "date night" once a month with their spouses.  It's often just dinner.  Yawn.  It's no wonder that the time that's meant for connection becomes time spent looking at your iPhone to see what time it is.  Oh, when do we have to leave to get the kids?  

Stagnant relationships at work function in the same manner.  How do your staff relate to what their doing?  Do they own it?  Do they have an opportunity to enlarge their roles?  Bring your team together to see how this can happen.  Collaboration, also, fights against the restlessness of the role.  Working together and corporately setting goals for engagement and impact take the wandering eye off of what might be and focus it on what is and will be.  High functioning teams are not buzzworthy for the latest SHRM Conference; they have merit because the stats back it up.  Sales training, like Sandler, spend a full day on these merits and outcomes.  Jacob Morgan wrote a killer article on collaboration in Forbes a few years ago where he points out the heightened functionality that collaboration gives to the individual contributor, even when there are team or corporate benefits as well.  

An individual who is creative and collaborative has too much going on to wander.  He/She sees a place for contribution, impact and recognition.  The temptress walking by (whether a job posting, a call surveying interest to jump ship, etc.) isn't as appealing.  A deep connection to the work being done at the organization will keep people there.  The retention rate moves up, knowledge management can actually happen and succession planning becomes succession actuality.  The hunger for more is met with real opportunity from and with the same company.

As people who get to encourage our teams, it's important that we remember our relationships need vibrancy.  Our connection to the work, to the mission, to purpose have to be encouraged and kept fresh.  The lax that leads to a wandering heart will cost our companies money and time and resources.  Our staff will not be firing on all cylinders.  Stir the fire of creativity and spark collaboration.  And you'll satisfy the hunger.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Disappointment is a tough emotion.  There isn’t a way to avoid it.  If you’re going to work for a living, attend school or have any kind of relationship, then disappointment will come. 

I recently saw a story about a boy, Walker, who broke his arm and was in the hospital to address the situation.  When Walker awoke, he saw that he broke a bone.  Instead of dread and disappointment, Walker couldn’t get over his excitement in having a cast.  He began to ask everyone in the room if they’d seen his cast.  He was elated in the difficulty (okay,, the drugs helped, but...).  How much is Walker teaching us about approaching annoyance, inconvenience, frustration?

In human resources, we’re asked to deal with many annoyances.  We are to point others to a better (not bitter) way of handling emotion and its impact on work.  This isn’t to belittle the true feelings that someone may have, but rather to enable a healthy perspective.  The disappointment felt can be crippling to some.  We can draw on our own experiences to help guide others.

When a new problem enters my life, do I ask others in pure joy if they see this opportunity given to me, as Walker did with his arm?  Do I present it as a privilege?  This isn’t about positive self-help crappola (that’s Italian for “crap”).  It’s about dealing with two realities – people and opportunities to grow.

Growth is easier.  Think about the disappointments that you’ve experienced in life – lost jobs, bad relationships, financial struggle, even death.  What did you learn from each of those experiences?  While I don’t wish any of those situations on anyone, I am sure that there was an opportunity to grow in action, consideration and relationship. 

A proactive approach to an unwelcome reality takes discipline and effort.  I can choose not to learn anything from the situation in front of me.  I can choose to sit in a corner and weep.  I can choose to remain in that corner for days, weeks, even if not literally.  My spirit sits crushed inside of me and I accept the victimization.  Well-intentioned people get hit with life and all that it has to offer.  I have watched some rise to the occasion and some fall to the wayside. 

In business, I have sat with executives who’ve lost everything.  I have cried with staff that I had to reduce.  I have packed boxes for companies that had to close.  I have been to the funerals of co-workers who died suddenly, leaving young families behind. 

Expectation setting is one of the hardest mechanisms against disappointment.  This is where the people component comes into play.  I know that I have disappointed others and I know I am not done disappointing.  It’s not that I intend to do so, but the expectations of others are not ones that I can control.  Some have expected me to fail, and I didn’t.  Some have expected me to soar, and I didn’t.  In both situations, disappointment was there.

Am I adding to that disappointment by fueling such expectations that others have for me?  Is it okay for me to address what I think others expect?  If you want to mitigate disappointment, then absolutely yes.  Walk into a team meeting and let others know what you’re sensing for expectations around a particular situation.  If they always think you’re to be the hero, is that fair?  Is that pressure yours to hold?  Aren’t you exhausted by all of the balls in the air?

Understand that the personal nature of some of this is very relevant in business.  We project personal feelings of disappointment on others.  When I work with a company that’s being sued by its own employees, it hurts.  There is no denying that, but does that business want to stay in business?  If so, then it cannot wallow in pity and despair.  Get up, understand that the expectations you had for that handful of employees was off, and work to make the company better today.  Direct your energies towards things that will give a return; don't settle for pure emotion. 

Listen, I am a crier (shocking to some, I know, but true).  I am a sucker for an emotionally charged commercial…where are the tissues?  My sensitive heart busts through my chest sometimes.  But that emotion may not be just about sappy sentiment, but also real disappointment and anger based on what I am seeing.  Previous experiences get brought to the surface based upon that movie, show or commercial.  I make connections in my mind.

These emotions and responses are mine to control.  Similarly, in work, I cannot expect a positive outcome if I project my disappointment on others. “Oh, if only so-and-so wasn’t here. It would so much easier to deal with work.”  Really?  Why give this person so much power in your life?  Why did you think you could expect a certain behavior from “so-and-so”?  Whose fault is that?

You should not desire to be a stumbling block to anyone, but know that it is likely to happen, as it has previously.  Intention is fine, but the reality as to how others respond cannot be overlooked.  Disappointment is going to happen.  It’s about how you will deal with it and what it does to your life.  Existing is no way to live.

Manage your expectations of others and know that there are certain things in life which are going to happen.  Death, taxes…and disappointment.  Rise above and use it to fuel health in all facets of your life.

Rocky Mountain High

There has to be a better way to handle inspiration.  Doesn’t it seem that at times we ride this escalator to the top of the mountain only to tumble back down from a strong gust at the summit?  The efficacy of the inspiration stalls; it’s predicated upon circumstance which we know changes frequently. 

How many Hoosiers, Miracle, Rudy, (insert one of a zillion other movie greats) speeches can we give?  Those speeches are delivered at a moment in time.  Our desire is to make that moment last when we know it cannot.  That’s why it’s a moment.  It’s why The Mighty Ducks 3 isn’t as inspiring as the first (C’mon, you weren’t inspired by the first one?)

Effective inspiration consists of a deliberate balance between moments and the cultural training that occurs as a result of those moments.  Cultural training?  Yes!  Everyday, leadership instills an understanding of how things are, ought to be and will be.  Leaders deliver unspoken words of “don’t touch, don’t ask, don’t even think about it” as much as they deliver “please do, please ask, please engage.”  The context becomes clearer to employees as to when those messages are applied.  A culture then develops through the understanding of what can be and who is demonstrating “right” behavior. 

When we deliver inspiring thoughts and a call to action, we do so in the context of the culture.  If we say “Let’s go get ‘em” enough but are unable to “get ‘em” then we deliver a message that cannot be met.  Failure is okay; repeated failure means it can’t be done or you’re not the one who can do it.  And so, culturally, if we tell our team to keep going despite the inability to reach, we show that we don’t know our people, process or product.  The inspiring words are foolishness.

I find myself consistently saying “Know your audience.”  Inspiration is lost on those who’ve heard it before and seen no action.  If, as a leader, you don’t realize the attitude in your culture, then no one is following you.  How are you a leader?  There is no influence happening.

Our intention to motivate is real.  Ultimately, we want employees to be inspired to greatness (if you don’t, you should seriously think about changing careers or changing your attitude, bearing in mind that changing roles still brings your attitude with you).  We have a workforce that wants to be the hero.  We can inspire them to that with messaging, tools and process that set them up for success. 

Inspiration becomes emotionally charged very easily.  That trap is attractive.  It’s feelings-oriented and it presents itself as effective in that moment.  We’ve all done it in our attempt to encourage and push. 

Let’s change the perspective and work to change culture through appropriate cultural impact.  Are competencies there?  Are processes ready to handle the effect of inspiration?  Is messaging consistent and thoughtful?  Simply, again, are we setting others up for success?  That’s what is truly inspiring and will give a return for quite some time.  Go Ducks!

Trouble

Tuesday nights at 8:30, you would find me on the living room floor, eating a bowl of cereal, watching “Laverne & Shirley.”  That was my routine for years as a kid.  That show would crack me up.  These two women would find themselves in all sorts of situations, that were often caused by them.  The remainder of the show would be about how they would unravel the trouble.  The classic misunderstandings, assumptions, over-promising and poorly defined expectations filled most of the plotlines. 

Sound a bit like work?  Think of the trouble caused by misunderstanding, to start.  Often, I hear the following:

• I didn’t know that was what he was asking me to do
• Wait, you meant for me to do that this week?
• I think my boss is trying to make me look bad on purpose
• How can I be expected to do anything more? No one knows all of what I do

Lack of clarity around process, personnel and results often find themselves into our daily  “issue board.”  You know, that growing list of concerns or problems brought up by misunderstanding.  Think of the extra meetings you’ve had to bridge the gaps towards understanding.  Lots, right?

I recall one particular time where I calculated 15 hours of my 40-hour work week spent on meetings I had not planned on having in order to mediate the trouble that was brewing surrounding misunderstanding, unrealized expectations and a general lack of grace towards each other.  That was 37.5% of my work week.  Productive?  Maybe.  Could it have been avoided to begin with?  Much of it could have been.

I know that there is much to learn through situations like this.  The “a-ha” moments usually come when someone, who has worked himself/herself into a tizzy, finds out that the “facts” he/she thought were off and it causes a reconsideration of how information is gathered and processed.  It’s a beautiful thing to watch.  And yet, if you find yourself in multiple situations like that, doesn’t that show more of a systemic issue?

Trouble is a difficult culture to break through.  There are some companies that love it.  They thrive on unhealthy relationships, difficult processes and a sloppy organizational design.  That’s not a dramatic statement.  Considering the amount of books, articles and workshops on dealing with toxic co-workers, difficult bosses and a separatist board of directors, it’s very reasonable to see that many companies must swim in this description and many of us deal with this on a regular basis.

As leaders, we ought to be proactive to thwart trouble before it begins.  We can offer direction on process, wisdom in relational dealings and passion behind seeking resolution directly.  It’s not meant to be emotionless, but it’s often the case that a culture allowed to be too emotional can end up being crippled by those emotions and fall short of the mission.  We can encourage folks to move beyond such short-sightedness.  The feeling is not where the prize is found; it’s in reaching the goal.

Consider marriage.  The wedding itself is a fun day.  It’s a party!  There is much to love and feel good about; however, the marriage itself is the goal.  Emotions won’t be in the same sphere each day as compared to the wedding.  If the marriage is based on the desire to feel the way they did on the wedding day, the marriage is doomed.  And so it is with business.  Not every day is the first day of work; not every day is the first sale made; not every day is the holiday party.  In between are days where a lack of clarity, issues around process and general trouble can occur.  Taking a proactive stance to thwart such problems and to add value to the communicative process so that others can perform it without you is our job.

Open the dialogue, call others to a higher standard and bring issues out into the open with the purpose of educating, diffusing and moving on.  Trouble festers if left unattended.  Don’t let it happen.  You can make such an impact.  I mean, if Laverne and Shirley were able to do it in a 30-minute time slot, I have faith that you can get it done in a timely manner.  Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated to all!

(Why You Gotta Be So) Rude?

Positivity is so…positive. When I am referred to as the warm, huggy HR guy (stop laughing, it still happens once in a while), I smile.  I mean, it’s certainly better than being seen as the obnoxious, pencil-pushing, rule-following, do-gooder HR guy.  And while I don’t think that my career has hinged on my positivity, it certainly hasn’t hurt it!

Yes, I’ve done the birthday parties, the collection of funds for the family of a recently deceased employee, the bridal shower, the retirement dinners and countless company holiday parties.  And you know what?  It’s okay.  I’m not Martha Stewart.  I’m not David Tutera.  I’m not on the panel of The Chew.  But, I am willing.

Approaching the fullness of the HR role with a willing, positive spirit invites others in.  It can opens doors for conversation and perspective-sharing that may not have otherwise occurred.  I have learned much from employees when we’re working on a project together.  Years ago, I worked on a “prom” being held during the summer for a group of temporary workers, as a thank you for their efforts.  It was hilarious.  Everyone went to a thrift shop and got awful tuxedos and bad bridesmaid dresses.  We laughed and laughed as pictures were taken under the balloon arch that we made.  And yet, one of the best parts of the whole thing was how much I got to know other staff who helped me get this craziness together.  We spent time decorating, making picture frame gifts for each employee, etc., which all allowed for conversation.  I learned so much about facets of the company, of process, of the good others were doing that I would not have had reason to know otherwise.

I know, I know.  Many of you are saying, “OK, Baldino, you’re always telling me not to just be the party-planner.  What gives here?”  My answer is that you’re right.  I don’t want you to be JUST the party-planner.  But that does not mean you shouldn't be a part of it.  An organization’s cultural improvement and enhancement is going to need leadership…that’s us, HR.  Don’t be afraid.  Love the chance to foster team through these opportunities.

And be authentically positive.  There’s so much in our world that is tough, draining, annoyingly compliant (if ACA, FMLA and the like don’t make you want to pull your hair out, you have issues).  Leverage opportunities for proactive organizational investment through positive approach with defined plans.  Too many of us walk into these opportunities with the look of “I have to” on our faces.  You won’t get the type of return possible with that kind of attitude.  Find the genuine reasons to be encouraged which will allow you to display the positivity needed.

Sometimes, the crankiest person in the department becomes your best friend after a shared experience.  There’s nothing like sharing hot dogs, beers and fries at a baseball game to bond people (at least for me).  Create memories, encourage camaraderie and set the mood for laughter.

Take stock of your demeanor.  I know how entitled you are to be pissed.  I get that most of the people you see each day suck the life out of you.  I am aware that you’ve had to cover the butts of people in the office for years.  Keep it in check.  Ever think what others are thinking of you?  Do you think you’re alone in categorizing and judging others?  Someone has to stop the carousel of negativity.  We are the cultural ambassadors of our organizations.

Take hold of that role and don’t apologize for the smile on your face.  No one should steal your joy.  I’m positive that you can do this (see what I did there?).

Magic Man

(by +Victorio Milian)

Like many people, I can appreciate a good magic trick. When I was growing up television specials featuring performers such as David Copperfield, Doug Henning, as well as Penn and Teller were regular events. And in New York City you can actually walk down the street and run across street performers doing some pretty cool things. 

Part of how a trick works is that its mechanics are hidden from the audience. Whether its card tricks or displays of disappearing damsels, part of the fun (and what makes the magic, magic) is attempting to answer the question, 

Most magicians, understandably, don't tell you how they performed their tricks. Part of it is personal--a unique trick helps to differentiate one performer from another. Part of that reasoning is financial. If you reveal too much the audience loses interest and they stop paying to see you perform. David Copperfield, aside from being a talented illusionist, was also a wealthy one. He had a vested interest in making sure no one could decipher his tricks, going so far as to sue author Herbert L. Becker to prevent him from publishing a book in which he reveals magicians' tricks, including his own. 

Aside from the above, huge part of why magician's don't reveal their tricks is that it ruins the trick. For all that the audience may want to know, there's a part of them that doesn't. Magic lies in the audience's willing suspension of disbelief. We know that people can't pull coins out of our ears, or that pretty ladies can't be sawed in half and still live, or that the Statue of Liberty really disappeared. But we're still delighted by the trick. Very few people (Penn and Teller and Ricky Jay are two that come to mind for me) can be transparent as well as entertaining. 

In the customer service world a lot has changed. Yet satisfying consumer demand hasn't, it's only increased. Consumers have a variety of different ways to gather information about a brand. And company's feel pressured to reveal as much about themselves as reasonable, lest others do it for them. "Engagement" is the mantra of today. Having a presence online (whether to provide information, interact with others, or to allow customers to shop) is an important and ever growing part of a company's strategy. Rating systems, customer review sites, blogs that are for or against a certain brand make it seem that, in essence, customers are less willing to suspend their disbelief. With the amount of information produced and disseminated online it's increasingly difficult for an organization to provide a magical experience. 

As a Consultant, I'm not providing customer service in the same fashion as a Barista at Starbucks. I do however attempt to utilize my knowledge, skills and abilities in a similar fashion for the clients I work with. They have demands of me that I attempt to meet, and I endeavor do so in a fashion that goes above and beyond simply performing a transaction. I also work with organizations whose focus is to provide services to a particular audience. So part of my mission is supporting the client's attempt at delivering a magical experience. 

What can organizations and consultants do to ensure great customer service experiences? Here are a few suggestions:

• Understand and focus on your strengths. Some magicians can perform a variety of different tricks. Generally speaking, many tend to focus on a particular form of magic. Some are illusionists, others are great at slight-of-hand, and still others are excellent escape artists. Understanding what your organization's position of strength is with regards to your target market will allow you to focus resources on building it.

• Get the mechanics right. Magicians practice their tricks repeatedly until they become second nature. And feedback regarding if it was successful is pretty clear--people either like it or they don't.

There used to be a hangout spot, a deli, in New York. And in the back room, all of the top magicians would come and meet, and every young magician would go and try to learn something. I met a magician there... and he showed me an incredible card move, and as he was about to leave, I stopped him and said, "Please show me how to do this." He was like, "Kid, don't waste your time—you'll never get this." But before he left, he showed me how to do it, and for the next six months—every day—I practiced it.

Kalush, who's one of my best friends now, taught me that even when it feels like you're not going to succeed and everything is crumbling apart: keep going. David Blaine, Magician

Organizations and its members need to take this to heart. Get the mechanics (of resolving customer complaints, of managing orders, or whatever customer related process you're responsible for) right. Only then do you incorporate the magic.

• Understand your audience and focus on their needs. Some people want to be treated special. They want you to know their name and how they like their coffee. Others just want fast, efficient service, particularly when returning or exchanging an item. This requires that an employee be able to quickly and successfully interpret and respond to a customer's needs. It's that understanding that makes or breaks the experience.

That deficiency is part of the reason why many people hate dealing with call center representatives. Many reps are trained to work from a script and may have little flexibility in deviating from it. Lack of flexibility can make it difficult to satisfy the customer, especially if presented with an unusual situation. This is part of the reason that Zappos get high marks for their customer service. Their representatives don't use scripts. In addition, they're empowered to resolve most customer issues without management approval.

• Give them something worthwhile. Magical customer service goes beyond the transaction. Delighting your customers isn't a simple equation (efficient service + being nice = magical customer service). If you are a hack no amount of effort can make the audience (or customer) love you. 'Nuff said.

Ignorance isn't just bliss, sometimes it's magical. However, in an increasingly transparent world, customers and clients are less ignorant. Be prepared to deliver on these changing expectations by understanding your organization's strengths, getting the basics right, understanding your customer's needs, and being able to give them something worthwhile. Then you should be able to consistently create memorable magic.

Seasons Change

At one point in my life, I was set to get married.  I guess I should back up to explain better.  I am married and I have three kids – Amazing, Amazing 2 and Amazing 3 (and all are that way due to Queen Amazing).  What I mean to say is that at one point in my life, I was set on marrying someone else.  I started looking at rings.  I thought through how I would ask her.  I dropped hints in conversation with her father.  I had dated this young lady for two years.

And yet, it didn’t happen.  We talked.  We realized that we weren’t where we thought we were.  It was awful.  I felt a bit like Lloyd Dobler – “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.”  Moving on was the right call, however.  Last I heard she was married.  Me, too.  Good for her.

Moving on is a difficult decision.  As business professionals, how do we determine if it’s time to move on?  I don’t mean just for ourselves, but for those on our teams, too.  For some employees it is easy to see.  Obnoxious behavior mixed with poor work performance.  SEE YA!  It is a simple conversation.  For others, it might be a matter of observation of their buy-in, their spirit, their passion.  Has all of that waned?  Is it being forced?  Are the conversations less fun, only business?  The work might be getting done, but the heart is no longer connected?  Tough call, right?

Surely, the first measure is to have an honest conversation with that person.  Ask good questions about satisfaction, purpose, connection, environment.  Draw out perspective and emotion.  Many of our teammates want to be asked.  The first couple of minutes may be awkward but plow through it.  The fruit of such conversations can alter the fabric of the company.  And sometimes, a trip to Mood is warranted (yes, I watch Project Runway, so?).

However, let’s say that these conversations illicit none of the magic hoped for.  What then?  Go back to the job description.  Is the person doing what he/she is to do?  Does the job description accurately reflect the KSA’s needed?  If collaboration, for example, is needed to do the work and it is not on the JD, then update it.  This will allow for truer dialogue around the duties rather than just a sense of disconnect.  Be mindful, though, to not make the JD too person-specific.  If Joe usually makes the coffee for the office in the morning and he stops doing so, and you sense something is wrong, I wouldn’t change his JD to include coffee preparation (unless he is a Barista).  Look only at the core duties for the role and what is needed to perform it well.

Sometimes, people need a conversation to cause them to “wake up” and look at how off track they’ve gotten.  Sometimes, they need a more formal interaction to do that.  And sometimes, it might lead to a new season for that person and for the company.  Sometimes it’s very healthy for someone to move on, even if they’ve been a decent employee for a while.  Maybe they’ve hit a ceiling and the challenges are few and far between.  Maybe they are at the max for compensation and that takes them down a peg or two.  Maybe they’ve just grown apart from the role.  It happens.

A word to my HR peeps…this applies to you, too.  Some of you need to leave where you are working.  Rough, right?  But I am serious.  You’re too settled, too cranky, too blasé, too distant.  Do a self-check, but also ask for feedback from those who know and work with you.  Staying with a job because you make good money is not helping the company.  Our role is to encourage health and growth within the organizations we serve.  If what we’re modeling is more of a “put my time in” kind of attitude, then we shoot ourselves in the foot.  Trust that your skill sets and aptitudes will open doors elsewhere for you; they can take you to a new challenge where passion and joy return.  Love your company enough to go.

And if you're not ready to go yet, then use the self-assessment and feedback from others to put you back on track.  Raise high the boom box and fight back!

One of my great loves in business is the “fire in your belly” that can grow.  Time does not have to dampen this.  Just because an HR pro or a CEO has been with one company for ten years does not establish some milestone that it’s time to go.  There is a difference between time spent and time served.  Follow?

Seasons change.  There is no question.  I am not in the same role I was in 20 years ago.  I am not in the same role I was in 3 years ago.  And I am not married to the person I almost married 20 years ago.  As painful and scary as those seasons might be, they do change.   

You Make Me Wanna

I had the opportunity to attend a RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Association) summer program during high school.  It was hosted on a college campus where about 75 local students were exposed to leadership development skill building, team dynamics and effective organizational tools; it was not exactly Meatballs with Bill Murray, but it was a good time.  The chaperones were non-existent and a bunch of juniors in high school were left to run the “social” programs for the week.  Ah, youth.

What stands out to me is that I was not invited by my high school to be considered for RYLA.  For whatever reasons, the Guidance Department did not initially invite me to interview with local Rotary members for the opportunity to attend.  There were to be only four students selected for consideration – two guys and two ladies.  When I saw my friends get invites to miss a class in order to interview, I walked out of class and went to the guidance office.  A couple of my friends ran out after me and told me not to worry about it.  They asked me what the big deal was.  The rejection, the lack of ask, made me want to do something to change the perception that was obviously there.

As you might imagine, I was mad.  So, I shared with the Director of Guidance my feelings about the circumstances.  She apologized and said they had decided to exclude me because they thought I wouldn’t be interested.  What?  A free vacation without my parents and you thought I wouldn’t be interested?  What about me says “not interested”?  That conversation took longer, but needless to say, I secured an interview slot and kicked butt in the interview.

Assumption is an interesting reality for management.  I have heard on many occasions, “Oh, Joe (insert your own name of choice) would never agree to that.  He won’t do that work.  He isn’t interested in projects.  He doesn’t like the company so he wouldn’t do it.”  The reasons might be one or many, but managers use their observations to determine a response from a staff member without ever asking the employee.  Not only was the Guidance Department sure I wouldn’t be interested, but they about fell over when the Selection Committee chose me as one of the finalists.

Those with authority in your organization might only see glimmers of a person’s responsiveness or work output.  From a distance, it might seem to say something to them.  Those who are on the ground more might have a different perspective.  To be sure, there is something quite rich about opening a door for consideration with the individual employee directly.

Simply asking the employee whether he/she is interested in working on this extra project or handling a particular situation has great merit.  The response from the employee might surprise you.  The employee himself/herself might be surprised that you would think to ask.  As a result, work performance could increase or mature.  Understanding that the “company” is watching him/her should motivate, or at least, shock him/her back into right work habits.  The value comes in the results of asking.

If I had not been selected for the RYLA opportunity, I would have been disappointed; however, my disappointment in my high school leadership was greater.  Winning allowed me to shove it in their faces, but it did not remove the fact that they didn’t think it was for me.  What was I showing them?  What about me categorized me as a “just get by” kind of kid?  I had excelled in so much, well, at least in my mind.  The lack of the “ask” opened my eyes to see that my perspective on others’ view of me was flawed.   

Ask your team to step up.  Ask them to engage in special projects.  Ask them to lead a team to accomplish a certain production goal.  Ask them to train others.  Do it clearly and consistently.  Avoid assumptions.  When someone turns you down, then your view is based on fact rather than an assumption.  Allow an employee to own his/her future.  Declining opportunities to lead, to grow, to engage by an employee allows you to determine long-term involvement by that employee.  You can then move on to cultivate those that really want to immerse themselves in service to the organization. 

The “ask” has great value.  Be willing to ask people to engage.  There is nothing wrong with doing so.  Just do not assume the answer first.  Let the adult employee answer for himself/herself.  Actions taken as a result of the answer then have context.

Time After Time

For a brief stint, I worked as a middle school teacher.  Teaching is a wonderful gift and I was delighted to do so.  I found that the most time spent, however, was directed towards items and issues that were not germane to the work I was asked to do.  Over and over again, forms had to be completed, state requirements proven and validated, interviewing with academia, etc.  Please understand that I believe in compliance and in accountability…definitely.  What I struggled with was the amount of time it took and how much time it took away from the students.

In human resources, I have experienced and witnessed a similar phenomenon.  While the distractions may differ, the results are the same.  For example, think about how much time you spend at your desk.  Can’t do it?  How about for the next 7 days, you keep a log (seriously!) as to how much time you are sitting at your desk.  Now, while sitting at your desk is not the enemy, per se, it may show you how much less you’re actually amongst the people you serve. 

And it isn’t just about paperwork either.  I bet it would be amazing for you to log how long you actually spend with a particular person or two each week.  Perhaps it’s all good stuff, but likely, you may have your time taxed by someone that should not have as much time as he/she has been allowed to have.  Think about that employee who “just needs 5 minutes” each day.  We know that 5 becomes 20 in seconds.  If it’s every day, what could you do with an extra hour and 40 minutes each week? 

There are still those time-suckers who want to review something again, complain about something again, have software explained to them again…it’s the same stuff time after time.  Am I insane?  Do I expect a different outcome?  Why do I allow this distraction to take me away from serving the larger population?  Stop the madness…you cannot get that time back.  Make decisions about the wasting of time.  If someone cannot handle the work they’ve been given, then get them out of that role.  If the same process isn’t getting the results needed, then put the effort in to change the process so you can be free from the hamster wheel.  Make the change.

I am not making light of responsibilities.  I know that form completion matters.  I know that one-on-one chats have to happen.  I know that your CEO will walk into your office and eat an hour of time.  I know.  Is that every day?  Is it keeping you from the objectives you’ve set?

Time will keep moving on.  Those goals you have for 2014 have a smaller window for completion.  We’re about 9.5 months into the year.  Can you accomplish those goals you set for the people of your organization in these last couple of months?  If so, maybe those goals weren’t so stretching after all?

Are you allowing busyness and distraction to keep you from what you’re to do?  My words are easy to type.  The action of leaving your office for a time and closing the door behind you might be a discipline that you have to employ.  Be with the people.  Learn processes.  Watch cultural interaction.  Those components will make you a better HR person, a better business partner, a better worker.  You will be energized, enlightened…more alive!  Take back your time.

Freeze Frame

(by +Victorio Milian)

I've worked many jobs in my career. Some I've enjoyed, others I've hated. I'm fortunate at this stage of my life to be involved in a few professional ventures that I really enjoy.

Part of why I'm in a good place these days is that I've found a way to incorporate my creative talents into my work. For example, I've been writing for over five years for various blogs and other outlets. This has provided me with opportunities for my work to appear in magazines, to travel, as well as connect with other great professionals. My emerging interest in photography and graphic design is helping me with my clients and their respective needs. My hobbies and interests have a home in my places of work.

My creative activities also serve as a diary of sorts. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on my growth and development, both as a HR practitioner as well as a person.

I say all this because I recently read a NPR article entitled, 'Got A Hobby? Might Be A Smart Professional Move.' In it, the author, Maanvi Singh, discusses research which reveals that employees who have creative endeavors outside of work tend to perform better at work.

According to the researchers abstract:

We conducted two studies that examined the relationships between non-work creative activity, recovery experiences, and performance-related behaviours at work. Creative activity was positively associated with recovery experiences (i.e., mastery, control, and relaxation) and performance-related outcomes (i.e., job creativity and extra-role behaviours).

A word of caution--it was a study done on a small group of professionals. Also, more research needs to be done on the connection between a person's creative outlet and work performance. Therefore, I wouldn't point to it as definitive proof of a relationship.

For me, however, it does make sense. Particularly as a consultant, I'm more engaged with clients when I can bring my full array of talents to work, even if they're not needed or utilized. And I've learned plenty of things at work that I've applied at home. Also, having a creative outlet helps me to relieve stress and to regain balance.

How can employees figure out how to be more creative at work, so that they can be more satisfied? Here are a few suggestions:

• Look at yourself. Take stock of the things you like to do, particularly those activities that you may not be able to engage in during work hours. Perhaps you like art, or exercising. Whatever it is, take stock of those things.
• Look at your job. What type of organization do you work for? Specifically, what are the values and expectations within it? Understanding the type of environment you work within can help you identify whether or not there's an opportunity to explore incorporating creative activities at work. For example, I've worked in environments where my social media activities were encouraged. In others, it was a big no-no.
• Look at your supervisor. You will have no bigger advocate or obstacle than your immediate supervisor. And that goes for any organizational initiative you may want to implement or adjust.

Finding that professional/personal sweet spot is tough, whether you're a CEO or the janitor. When people are able to clearly articulate and exist within that sweet spot between the two, they (in my opinion) tend to do better at work.

Broken Wings

Sweet words can heal.  I can recall so many times as a dad where a “boo boo” was healed more by my words than any bandage or ointment.  My kids were more appreciative and comforted by sweetness in tone and message (coupled with a hug).

Think for a minute about how we would do that in a Human Resources function.  Are we to be the “boo boo” office?  Regardless of how many HR departments that I’ve known that were (some still “are”) exclusively like this, I recognize that there really is no other place employees would think of going to than HR for such a need.  So what do you do?

To start, I think it would be kind of awkward to hug and kiss the forehead of an employee whose feelings were hurt by a rough manager.  Aside from the lawsuit that might accompany it (think I’m kidding?), I would submit that there is a diminishing of HR when this is done.  Employees might see our office as we did the Nurse’s Office in school – it was a way to get out of class for a bit and you could rest there.  There was a guy I knew in school who went to the nurse’s office 3 days a week after lunch for a nap.  He didn’t have a doctor’s note or a parent’s permission.  There was just a sweet nurse who liked him and let him sleep.  Are we merely a “nice nurse?”  The nurse in school had her nursing degree and a skill set in it, but she relegated herself as being nice.  Her competencies were not appreciated by those she served.

Comforting a person in a tough situation or who is experiencing difficulty should have a human aspect to it.  I am not advocating a cold HR office (far from it!).  I believe that there is a deep reason to have an HR professional who can connect to the talent within an organization.  As cultural ambassadors for our companies, we have to engage with our staff to win the right to be heard.  We offer a productive viewpoint and a desire to affect change that is most readily received by an audience who knows us. 

When M'Lynn (Sally Field in "Steel Magnolias") loses her daughter Shelby (Julia Roberts), she is rallied to by all of the people in her life who really know her.  And while I know that the gut-wrenching scene at the cemetery is not what most HR folks will deal with each day, I do know that the aspect of putting yourself out there has to be practiced in order to engage with others in an impactful way.   

By being real, we open a door.  Are you hiding behind your door?  Open it.  Get up from your desk, open the door and head out to the assembly line, the sales floor or the customer service department.  Your words will bring healing when they are heard in the context of your relational deposits and cultural encouragement.  Believe that your skill set will shine as you embrace (figuratively) the staff you serve.

And consider that as people grow and mature (well, most people do…I see your head shaking…I know some exceptions myself!), the way in which comfort and connection happen might have to evolve, too.  I don’t speak to the entry-level folks exactly the way I do to those I’ve known for 20 years in the workforce.  There is history between us that I draw upon and allow my conversation to reflect that depth.  I won’t be able to just “kiss it and make it better” with them any longer.

Today, as my kids get older, I think about how one day they will be comforting me as I age.  When my ability to do things as I’ve always done becomes impaired, my children will have to use some of the skills in comforting that I’ve shown them.  I trust that those deposits of family culture and engagement will blossom into confidence and leadership as they take ownership of the family.  We need to build people up to handle such difficulties.  Whether our kids or our employees, we can bring comfort.  Think about the cultural deposits you’re making towards it.