Creep

The challenge of negativity isn’t new.  We fight it everyday.  When we are faced with it, what is our normal response?  Walk away?  Join in?  Yikes.

Kit, the pitcher in A League of Their Own, is negative throughout most of the movie.  Manufacturing sympathy for her is tough.  She is a whiner.  She brings down those around her.  She is frustrated with the sister who seems to have everything.  She is obnoxious to her teammates.  She is negative about her life and wants to bring others down around her.

Think about how critical the pitcher is to the team.  What does it do to the team to have someone like this at the mound?  How many of these people work with or for us?  And while you might want to fight this person, just as happens in one scene of the movie, work policy is likely to prohibit you from doing so. 

Confrontation is appropriate.  You do not need to allow this person to monopolize your time or to jeopardize the flow of the rest of the team due to such negativity.  It is not okay.

Make the business case first.  Log the hours given in support of this negative person, to try to move him/her beyond the perceived issues.  Log the hours given in support of correction of the frustrated team communication.  Log the hours given in conversation with other team members who struggle to work with that negative person.  Those hours have a cost, with very little ROI. 

Often the pattern for a manager is to have all of these conversations, but the functional team dynamic remains the same.  The cycle of engagement is not impacted and the status quo returns a day after addressing the issue.  Management does little usually to course-correct the department.  The symptom gets address – frustration, lack of communication, hurt feelings – but the cause – the negativity of a person – is left because we don’t know what to do.

Sit with Mr./Ms. Negative and share the logged hours.  Show him/her how much time has been spent because of him/her.  Let the time be a factual example that the behavior has caused.  You’re not saying the classic, “I spend so much time dealing with your stuff.”  That’s too general and will likely cause the negative employee to be remorseful for a moment but with no lasting repercussion.  When management is specific to the time, a line can be drawn in the sand to say enough.

A manager should further make the business case regarding lack of productivity.  In all of the hours spent by the manager in dealing with the situations caused by the negativity, rest assured it’s about the same for the team members involved.  They are not on task because of having to address the related issues of the negativity.  And every member of the team is valuable.  It should be very easy to show the negative employee that the team is not here to deal with these issues; it’s not part of their job description.  The cost of lost productivity is real and can be shared as an amount based upon time, hourly rate, cost of goods, and other operational & production costs.  

Giving the negative person truth and fact is the most respectful way to engage.  It will allow the conversation to move away from feeling, which is the default position, and rest purely on fact.  Management must engage on a level that moves the negative person out of his/her own perspective and into one that includes the company’s purpose.  Often, the negative individual sees his/her role as unappreciated at the company.  By sharing factual information, the negative person is offered a different (and more correct) view of how the company sees him/her.  When confronted with such information, management can be deliberate about the path of engagement moving forward.

Management will need to follow through on this.  If we’re serious that the waste of time is enough, then we must act upon that.  No more resources of time, team members and operational productivity will be wasted on such negativity.  Everything isn’t terrible, everything isn’t against you and everything isn’t about you.  Clearly act on this.

And while management may feel that the negative person is too tough to handle, a better view is to think about the team members that aren’t receiving such attention despite the great work being done.  The squeaky wheel getting the grease isn’t a long-term strategy for success.  Affirm the right behaviors more than the wrong; look at the time you’re spending on the wrong and make corrections.

Keep in mind, too, that this negative person can follow the path that Kit did.  She got traded.  Don’t wait too long to trade your Kit.

Escapade

Starting over sounds like fun.  Remember when Billy Madison got to do all 12 years of school over again?  He challenged his father to let him redo each grade from 1^st to 12^th for two weeks per grade.  The goal was for Billy to show that he can work hard on his own, and therefore, be qualified to take over the family business.  And as a gibberish-speaking, Nintendo-playing, flaming bag of doggie poo lighting, raging drunk, that was going to be quite a feat.

Now perhaps you work for such a company owner.  Maybe, like Billy, your leader beat the odds and somehow ended up in the leader seat, despite having to wear loafer or Velcro shoes only due to an inability to tie a shoelace.  Maybe you’re wishing for your own do-over, or least the quickest escape. 

We both know that repairing the mistakes of others is an uphill climb.  It’s exhausting and it’s deflating to the soul.  Better would be to have a prevention plan in place and work from proactivity.  But this is for another blog….

What stands out from this is a positional consideration.  It’s very true that being at the ready with a dust pan and brush stinks, but consider using different tools and a different context.

If you’ve been positioned as a janitor, despite being hired for what you thought was a different role, act like you’re working in the position you were hired for.  Stop taking on only a cleaning role, but more, stop letting others think that is your role.  You can’t always quit your job and just start over somewhere else.  It’s not that easy.  Enact subtle changes now to re-position yourself into the role you were hired for originally.

What if, instead of loathing the company owner described above, you chose to be a partner?  Put yourself on his/her schedule for breakfast or lunch.  Ask about his/her hopes for the company.  Ask how he/she hopes to get that done.  Ask how he/she sees the organization needing to change or bend to make that happen.  Put down the broom and pick up a pen (or iPad).  Have a couple of meals together to unpack these questions and the ones they’ll lead to.  Take notes.  You’ll see the small ways you can insert your expertise and ideas into the conversation.  You can begin to change the view of your role in that leader’s eyes.

Come back to mission and vision.  Plan, in your second to fourth meal time, to bring up what you understand the mission to be.  How does your manager see it?  Are there connections to the expressed hopes for the organization?  You’re now moving into an analytical posture with your leadership.  That’s an attractive position because it opens the door wider for analysis of the organization.

Look at the team around you, too.  Where are strengths being used?  Where are they lacking?  And is the right person doing the right thing?  You already know that your role has mutated unhealthily, so don’t be surprised that others are suffering in the same way.  Put down the dust pan and pick up a conductor’s baton.  Pull them out of it and put them in places to showcase the hirable skills originally displayed.  And if there are tasks that need to be done, get them done, but be smart about assigning them.  Look to see where those tasks make the most sense.  Remember, you can then speak to your manager about this thoughtfulness and restructuring in the context of the conversations you’ve been having with him/her.

That alignment is a display of giftedness meant for your role.  Granted, clean-up is important, especially when you first get to a company.  However, don’t stay in that posture.  Just because you can clean up doesn’t mean you should always do it.  And if there is that much going on, something is broken and you can fix it.

A stumble along this new path may occur.  You might find that the last week has put you back into clean-up mode only.  It’s okay.  You’re re-training yourself as well as others.  A step back is not uncommon.  Just make a course correction.

You can start over right where you are.  Make weeks into escapades rather than preparation to escape!  You don’t need to go back to first grade to prove you have something valuable to offer.  But, if you start seeing giant penguins running around the office, the pressure has definitely gotten to you.  Time to use some PTO.

(Why You Gotta Be So) Rude?

Positivity is so…positive. When I am referred to as the warm, huggy HR guy (stop laughing, it still happens once in a while), I smile.  I mean, it’s certainly better than being seen as the obnoxious, pencil-pushing, rule-following, do-gooder HR guy.  And while I don’t think that my career has hinged on my positivity, it certainly hasn’t hurt it!

Yes, I’ve done the birthday parties, the collection of funds for the family of a recently deceased employee, the bridal shower, the retirement dinners and countless company holiday parties.  And you know what?  It’s okay.  I’m not Martha Stewart.  I’m not David Tutera.  I’m not on the panel of The Chew.  But, I am willing.

Approaching the fullness of the HR role with a willing, positive spirit invites others in.  It can opens doors for conversation and perspective-sharing that may not have otherwise occurred.  I have learned much from employees when we’re working on a project together.  Years ago, I worked on a “prom” being held during the summer for a group of temporary workers, as a thank you for their efforts.  It was hilarious.  Everyone went to a thrift shop and got awful tuxedos and bad bridesmaid dresses.  We laughed and laughed as pictures were taken under the balloon arch that we made.  And yet, one of the best parts of the whole thing was how much I got to know other staff who helped me get this craziness together.  We spent time decorating, making picture frame gifts for each employee, etc., which all allowed for conversation.  I learned so much about facets of the company, of process, of the good others were doing that I would not have had reason to know otherwise.

I know, I know.  Many of you are saying, “OK, Baldino, you’re always telling me not to just be the party-planner.  What gives here?”  My answer is that you’re right.  I don’t want you to be JUST the party-planner.  But that does not mean you shouldn't be a part of it.  An organization’s cultural improvement and enhancement is going to need leadership…that’s us, HR.  Don’t be afraid.  Love the chance to foster team through these opportunities.

And be authentically positive.  There’s so much in our world that is tough, draining, annoyingly compliant (if ACA, FMLA and the like don’t make you want to pull your hair out, you have issues).  Leverage opportunities for proactive organizational investment through positive approach with defined plans.  Too many of us walk into these opportunities with the look of “I have to” on our faces.  You won’t get the type of return possible with that kind of attitude.  Find the genuine reasons to be encouraged which will allow you to display the positivity needed.

Sometimes, the crankiest person in the department becomes your best friend after a shared experience.  There’s nothing like sharing hot dogs, beers and fries at a baseball game to bond people (at least for me).  Create memories, encourage camaraderie and set the mood for laughter.

Take stock of your demeanor.  I know how entitled you are to be pissed.  I get that most of the people you see each day suck the life out of you.  I am aware that you’ve had to cover the butts of people in the office for years.  Keep it in check.  Ever think what others are thinking of you?  Do you think you’re alone in categorizing and judging others?  Someone has to stop the carousel of negativity.  We are the cultural ambassadors of our organizations.

Take hold of that role and don’t apologize for the smile on your face.  No one should steal your joy.  I’m positive that you can do this (see what I did there?).

Broken Wings

Sweet words can heal.  I can recall so many times as a dad where a “boo boo” was healed more by my words than any bandage or ointment.  My kids were more appreciative and comforted by sweetness in tone and message (coupled with a hug).

Think for a minute about how we would do that in a Human Resources function.  Are we to be the “boo boo” office?  Regardless of how many HR departments that I’ve known that were (some still “are”) exclusively like this, I recognize that there really is no other place employees would think of going to than HR for such a need.  So what do you do?

To start, I think it would be kind of awkward to hug and kiss the forehead of an employee whose feelings were hurt by a rough manager.  Aside from the lawsuit that might accompany it (think I’m kidding?), I would submit that there is a diminishing of HR when this is done.  Employees might see our office as we did the Nurse’s Office in school – it was a way to get out of class for a bit and you could rest there.  There was a guy I knew in school who went to the nurse’s office 3 days a week after lunch for a nap.  He didn’t have a doctor’s note or a parent’s permission.  There was just a sweet nurse who liked him and let him sleep.  Are we merely a “nice nurse?”  The nurse in school had her nursing degree and a skill set in it, but she relegated herself as being nice.  Her competencies were not appreciated by those she served.

Comforting a person in a tough situation or who is experiencing difficulty should have a human aspect to it.  I am not advocating a cold HR office (far from it!).  I believe that there is a deep reason to have an HR professional who can connect to the talent within an organization.  As cultural ambassadors for our companies, we have to engage with our staff to win the right to be heard.  We offer a productive viewpoint and a desire to affect change that is most readily received by an audience who knows us. 

When M'Lynn (Sally Field in "Steel Magnolias") loses her daughter Shelby (Julia Roberts), she is rallied to by all of the people in her life who really know her.  And while I know that the gut-wrenching scene at the cemetery is not what most HR folks will deal with each day, I do know that the aspect of putting yourself out there has to be practiced in order to engage with others in an impactful way.   

By being real, we open a door.  Are you hiding behind your door?  Open it.  Get up from your desk, open the door and head out to the assembly line, the sales floor or the customer service department.  Your words will bring healing when they are heard in the context of your relational deposits and cultural encouragement.  Believe that your skill set will shine as you embrace (figuratively) the staff you serve.

And consider that as people grow and mature (well, most people do…I see your head shaking…I know some exceptions myself!), the way in which comfort and connection happen might have to evolve, too.  I don’t speak to the entry-level folks exactly the way I do to those I’ve known for 20 years in the workforce.  There is history between us that I draw upon and allow my conversation to reflect that depth.  I won’t be able to just “kiss it and make it better” with them any longer.

Today, as my kids get older, I think about how one day they will be comforting me as I age.  When my ability to do things as I’ve always done becomes impaired, my children will have to use some of the skills in comforting that I’ve shown them.  I trust that those deposits of family culture and engagement will blossom into confidence and leadership as they take ownership of the family.  We need to build people up to handle such difficulties.  Whether our kids or our employees, we can bring comfort.  Think about the cultural deposits you’re making towards it.