Hungry Heart

Wandering happens.  People find that what once satisfied, no longer does.  Marriages have broken up, families have been fractured, jobs have been left because of it, hobbies lay in corners of basements or garages all over this country because of it.  We get bored and our eyes begin to look for the next biggest, baddest, best option.

When The First Wives' Club started, the divorcees had all experienced a cheating spouse.  A spouse who found "happiness" in the arms of another (younger) woman.  The spark of attraction that originally came from the first wife was replaced with bland familiarity, boredom and predictability.  Of course what follows is hilarity, a song and dance number and domestic earnings of over $100 million (and counting).  In the movies, this is an "of course"; in our real lives, the song and dance is not usually found.

The struggle to find connection pulls at the heart of any relationship, whether person to person or person to purpose.  Brokenness and disconnect make other options seem more appealing.  There is a longing for something so much more than what someone is living.  And knowing this is a tendency for many of us, what do we do about it?  If we serve in a position of influence, however small, what kind of difference can we make?

A job becomes stale and predictable, just as a relationship does, when there is no encouragement towards or opportunity for creativity.  The imaginative spark has been studied for decades, particularly in its symbiotic nature with organizational change.  Creativity pushes boundaries and considers what might be.  Think about how your organization would benefit from such a posture.  Wouldn't the organization change as a result?  Perhaps it's the development of a new product or process.  Perhaps the method of delivery is improved or completely made over.  In some measurable way, the creative outlets for staff will drive organizational change.

Think about the correlation to relationships.  Wouldn't approaching a date with enthusiastic creativity likely make the date memorable?  If it's just dinner, again, where is the imagination?  So many of my friends do "date night" once a month with their spouses.  It's often just dinner.  Yawn.  It's no wonder that the time that's meant for connection becomes time spent looking at your iPhone to see what time it is.  Oh, when do we have to leave to get the kids?  

Stagnant relationships at work function in the same manner.  How do your staff relate to what their doing?  Do they own it?  Do they have an opportunity to enlarge their roles?  Bring your team together to see how this can happen.  Collaboration, also, fights against the restlessness of the role.  Working together and corporately setting goals for engagement and impact take the wandering eye off of what might be and focus it on what is and will be.  High functioning teams are not buzzworthy for the latest SHRM Conference; they have merit because the stats back it up.  Sales training, like Sandler, spend a full day on these merits and outcomes.  Jacob Morgan wrote a killer article on collaboration in Forbes a few years ago where he points out the heightened functionality that collaboration gives to the individual contributor, even when there are team or corporate benefits as well.  

An individual who is creative and collaborative has too much going on to wander.  He/She sees a place for contribution, impact and recognition.  The temptress walking by (whether a job posting, a call surveying interest to jump ship, etc.) isn't as appealing.  A deep connection to the work being done at the organization will keep people there.  The retention rate moves up, knowledge management can actually happen and succession planning becomes succession actuality.  The hunger for more is met with real opportunity from and with the same company.

As people who get to encourage our teams, it's important that we remember our relationships need vibrancy.  Our connection to the work, to the mission, to purpose have to be encouraged and kept fresh.  The lax that leads to a wandering heart will cost our companies money and time and resources.  Our staff will not be firing on all cylinders.  Stir the fire of creativity and spark collaboration.  And you'll satisfy the hunger.

Higher Ground

Making an informed decision seems like a good plan.  I think most companies would look favorably on employees that decide to do that.  It seems like a mature, thoughtful response.

In school, I was involved in a pretty good food fight in the cafeteria.  Mashed potatoes were thrown onto the walls in our attempts to create art.  The school did not think it the best use of the food, especially when it moved from walls to people.  It was one of the rare times I was brought to the principal’s office (I was usually not caught for the stuff I did, not because I was angelic).  Because I had my own skin to protect (from my dad!), I found a way to present information that not only removed any malevolent thought of me, but actually made me sound like a good guy operating in the fallen humanity of school.  Brilliant? Yes.  True? Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.

What if the information is flawed? 

It’s probably due to a few possibilities.  One – perhaps there is a gap in the way information is gathered.  Maybe there are some steps that have been bypassed due to ignorance.  In our efforts to be efficient, we can forego communication steps and not look back.  Maybe we didn't know the process or all of the people involved.  We can easily assume some “facts” and fill in the blanks ourselves.  It’s not what we would like to do, I know, but the pressure of getting things done cause us to create shortcuts.

Have you ever been in a meeting where you offer a perspective as an absolute, only to find out that most of the room knows pivotal details?  And now you look like an absolute idiot?  Yeah, it’s never happened to me…I feel badly for you people (an obvious lie if you’ve ever been in a room with me!).

Secondly, the informed decision may be colored by self-esteem issues.  Crazy as it may seem, but there might be among those with whom we work a person or two who are devastated when they are not the founts of information.  To that end, they might offer bits and pieces of information so as to try to coax out the rest.  When bits and pieces fly around like that, it leaves open inference and flawed interpretation.  The decisions made would be based upon granules rather than rocks of truth.

And then there’s political positioning.  I have been in organizations where communication is used based upon maligned purposes.  There can be treachery and back-stabbing in an organization with information sharing an easy road to travel.  I may only share what I want others to know, with a longer term plan in place to paint someone in a bad light, to make myself seem more important or to inflate the view of the department I lead.  Shocking, I know, but it happens.

For those of us in an HR capacity, we have to be a bit more eyes wide open about information.  It is a necessity for us to do our homework.  Cultural and relational impact is likely to occur from some of the decisions to be made based on certain information.  We can serve in an unbiased manner and gather all of the facts.  If we were to slip into some of the posturing or sloppiness addressed above, we compromise our role as a strategic partner to the overall health of the business.

Over the past few months, I have conversed with some business owners whose experience with HR people has them characterized as “mealy-mouthed” or “chatty Cathys.”  What a sad perspective.  Is it really likely that our informed decisions will be seen as informed decisions when the impression we give falls into those categories?   It’s not about our skin.  It’s about our commitment to the senior leadership team to deliver truth that will encourage growth and health for the organizations we serve.

Really, what’s the worst that would have happened if I just admitted to flinging a spoonful of mashed potatoes?  Detention, cleaning it up, some Philly-Italian-style parenting?  You gotta have something to go to therapy with, right?