You Make Me Wanna

I had the opportunity to attend a RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Association) summer program during high school.  It was hosted on a college campus where about 75 local students were exposed to leadership development skill building, team dynamics and effective organizational tools; it was not exactly Meatballs with Bill Murray, but it was a good time.  The chaperones were non-existent and a bunch of juniors in high school were left to run the “social” programs for the week.  Ah, youth.

What stands out to me is that I was not invited by my high school to be considered for RYLA.  For whatever reasons, the Guidance Department did not initially invite me to interview with local Rotary members for the opportunity to attend.  There were to be only four students selected for consideration – two guys and two ladies.  When I saw my friends get invites to miss a class in order to interview, I walked out of class and went to the guidance office.  A couple of my friends ran out after me and told me not to worry about it.  They asked me what the big deal was.  The rejection, the lack of ask, made me want to do something to change the perception that was obviously there.

As you might imagine, I was mad.  So, I shared with the Director of Guidance my feelings about the circumstances.  She apologized and said they had decided to exclude me because they thought I wouldn’t be interested.  What?  A free vacation without my parents and you thought I wouldn’t be interested?  What about me says “not interested”?  That conversation took longer, but needless to say, I secured an interview slot and kicked butt in the interview.

Assumption is an interesting reality for management.  I have heard on many occasions, “Oh, Joe (insert your own name of choice) would never agree to that.  He won’t do that work.  He isn’t interested in projects.  He doesn’t like the company so he wouldn’t do it.”  The reasons might be one or many, but managers use their observations to determine a response from a staff member without ever asking the employee.  Not only was the Guidance Department sure I wouldn’t be interested, but they about fell over when the Selection Committee chose me as one of the finalists.

Those with authority in your organization might only see glimmers of a person’s responsiveness or work output.  From a distance, it might seem to say something to them.  Those who are on the ground more might have a different perspective.  To be sure, there is something quite rich about opening a door for consideration with the individual employee directly.

Simply asking the employee whether he/she is interested in working on this extra project or handling a particular situation has great merit.  The response from the employee might surprise you.  The employee himself/herself might be surprised that you would think to ask.  As a result, work performance could increase or mature.  Understanding that the “company” is watching him/her should motivate, or at least, shock him/her back into right work habits.  The value comes in the results of asking.

If I had not been selected for the RYLA opportunity, I would have been disappointed; however, my disappointment in my high school leadership was greater.  Winning allowed me to shove it in their faces, but it did not remove the fact that they didn’t think it was for me.  What was I showing them?  What about me categorized me as a “just get by” kind of kid?  I had excelled in so much, well, at least in my mind.  The lack of the “ask” opened my eyes to see that my perspective on others’ view of me was flawed.   

Ask your team to step up.  Ask them to engage in special projects.  Ask them to lead a team to accomplish a certain production goal.  Ask them to train others.  Do it clearly and consistently.  Avoid assumptions.  When someone turns you down, then your view is based on fact rather than an assumption.  Allow an employee to own his/her future.  Declining opportunities to lead, to grow, to engage by an employee allows you to determine long-term involvement by that employee.  You can then move on to cultivate those that really want to immerse themselves in service to the organization. 

The “ask” has great value.  Be willing to ask people to engage.  There is nothing wrong with doing so.  Just do not assume the answer first.  Let the adult employee answer for himself/herself.  Actions taken as a result of the answer then have context.

Happy

The goal in life seems to be happiness.  Happiness based on our surroundings, on how we look, on our possessions, etc.  I have been in those seminars that teach you how to be happy.  For only $1095, you, too, can learn the secrets of the speaker.  He/She hops around the stage and over-inflects verbiage to stir a reaction in you (wow, that’s critical of me, isn’t it?).  And do you know who usually has the lasting happiness from that session?  The speaker who just made 70% per person with a room full of 150 people, if not more.

Why do we crave it so?  I think it’s because we are designed to achieve.  We are designed to inspire and to create.  We are designed to engage others and to energize our environment.  Happiness comes from doing what we are designed to do.  The pathing is unique, the skill sets vary and the product takes various shapes, but the outcome is consistent.

In the human resources sphere, I see lots of well-meaning people put together lots of well-intentioned programs.  We seem to think that these programs will fix what ails our people.  If happiness is what our staff is missing, no great program will provide lasting impact.  Sure, there will be some positive results.  Some staff will express gratitude for causing them to think differently about a subject or a process (which is a victory!), but does it last?  If one year later, you sense the same rut returning, then what has that program gotten you?

As taxing as what I am about to say is, over the last 20+ years, the most impactful push towards growth I have been involved with are about the individual.  Working with the individual to find what makes him/her tick. Working with that person to see what he/she can bring to the table.  Working with that person to see where he/she dreams, finds glimmers of fulfillment, and senses purpose.  When we can tap into those things, we find the core of happiness for that person.  That is the heart of the matter.

I believe our staff can find happiness in their work.  Our responsibility is work-related as business professionals; however, I understand and have observed an overlap to the personal lives of those we serve.  If the core of happiness is pierced and inspired to multiplication, then by nature, an individual will want to design his/her entire life around that exposed core. 

For the professional, we have to make a decision to coach effectively.  Coaching is not just about the skill desired or the task to be completed, but it’s about the whole person.  I have had many robust discussions with peers regarding this perspective, but I can only point to the lasting impact differentials I see.  Those employees that have been coached as a whole person, under the auspices of the work environment, have embraced lasting change and have remained happier than those who have not. 

Happiness is a decision; joy is a state of being.  Inspiring the lasting decision for happiness has to be based upon impact and validation.  My circumstances may not make me happy today.  So what does that mean?  Should I be an absolute jerk to those around me (with justification in my mind) because my circumstances suck?  No.  This is not beneficial to the work environment nor to the person.  We have to be content, satisfied, happy regardless of circumstances.  It’s a decision for approach and for interaction. 

Find what makes you happy at the core of your being.  How does that get expressed at work?  How can it get expressed at work?

And, as silly as this may sound, know what brings you back to center.  If you know what makes you happy, and you lose your way, know what triggers will push you back to it.  Is it a best friend?  Is it a favorite piece of writing?  Is it a song?  Talk, read or listen.  Do what you need to and you might surprise yourself at how happy you can really be.  And all that without spending $1095 (I mean, if you want to Paypal me the amount to make yourself feel better, I will send you the link…)