Caught Up

You know when you walk into your place and you see your significant other in a compromising position with your roommate.  And then you stop in your tracks with your jaw dropped until you see that one of them has gotten a bracelet caught in the sweater of the other.  And then you understand the context of the situation.  And it's not so bad.  That hasn't happened to you?  Well, you could just as easily find Three's Company on demand and watch any episode.

The specifics of the situation may change but the overall issue remains the same.  On Three's Company, the plotline was the same - some misunderstanding (usually of a sexual or relational nature), followed by a poor response, an awkward reveal of the truth, and then, reconciliation.  The core issue was mistrust, but the situations that revealed it changed.  

In our organizations, we might find ourselves facing the same circumstances.  There is a core issue at hand that seems to reveal itself in what appear to be unconnected situations.  In actuality, they are absolutely connected.  I recently was with some HR pros who were addressing an issue that had come up a few times previously.  The situation was presented newly, but the core issue remained the same.  And what we do in HR often does not push the envelope towards addressing the core issue.  HR tends to seek peace as its goal.  We'll just hurry up and find a quick solution to the situation, rather than the issue, and hope that it doesn't come up again or that the person who continues to pick at the issue leaves the organization.  This is not managing the situation effectively.

What we can do is take the posture of dialogue to reveal the core issue.  Allow the conversation to move beyond the buzz of cliched approaches with which we get caught up - we need to manage this change better, we need to assess our strengths so we know if we've got the right people on the bus, we need to have an outing so that we can unify our team.  Listen, those things can be great, but if the core issue is lack of trust, then none of those recommendations, along with a thousand others like it, won't work.  It will serve as confirmation, in some cases, as to why the mistrust is there.  Cliques, suspicion and faux-enthusiasm become obstacles heaped upon an already tough set of circumstances.

Consider sitting in a room and simply asking, "Who wants to be here?"  What if we start with that?  What if we push the conversation around why people don't want to be there?  In some cases, there's so much damage in the history book that someone might not be motivated to meet in the middle.  If that's the case, then an organization can just keep pouring good resources towards resolution that will never come.  If someone wants out, then sometimes that's the best answer.  There is not going to be a pretty bow around it and that person may not speak well of you or the organization upon departure.  Honestly, oh, well.  

Learn the lesson from that situation and understand that the core issue still needs to be addressed with those remaining.  Call it out.  Put it on the table.  Have an honest dialogue about it and understand that all parties might not see the same circumstance through the same lens.  Embrace it, as frustrating as it might be, and ask good questions as to how to handle the core issue.  It's not about dying on the hill of circumstances, but rather fighting to get back to giving others the benefit of the doubt.  As a team, we have to encourage that, but we have to do it from the core, not the surface.

Some of us need to wake up and take stock of the issues in our organizations.  Stop pretending they aren't there, that they'll go away or that it's someone else's problem.  Our job is to address and provide the forum for dialogue, healing and growth moving forward.  We lay out expectations on both sides for moving this forward.  We don't accept everyone's stubbornness; we don't bow to fear.  We don't allow one thing to be said in our meetings and then another to be said at the cubicles.  We push for honesty, grace and truth.  

Listen, I recognize how hard this can be in some of our companies.  I know that there is entrenched organizational un-health and the unwilling spirits of employees.  But, I also know that there will only be repeat episodes of Three's Company as long as nothing is done to get to the core issue.  And those episodes will play without a laugh track. 

How Can I Be Sure?

by +Victorio Milian 

I get approached regularly with requests for career advice. I get asked all sorts of questions but they tend to be variations on the following:

• How do I break into Human Resources?
• How do I use social media to build my brand?
• What help can you give me to find a job?
• Victorio, why are you so cool?

I admit that the last one, while my favorite, is false! The others aren't.

I can sympathize; I've been in that position, one where I felt clueless about an important question I needed answers to, or a choice that I needed to make. As a result, I do my best to help people out. Usually I start with an email exchange and then if they're comfortable we'll move on to a phone conversation. If they live or plan to be in New York City then we can meet in person. Through this process of communication I've helped people figure out next steps in their professional lives, as well as developed some great relationships.

As I mentioned, I've felt clueless. I still feel that way sometimes. I don't have all of the answers, nor do I want to. Having challenging questions to answer is part of the learning process as a professional. For me, it drives me to better understand and articulate my passion for Human Resources, along with how I can support my clients in the best possible fashion.

I also recognize that, while I consider myself smart, capable, and creative, I'm not the smartest, most capable, or creative Human Resources professional in the world. As Bill Joy, computer scientist and co-founder of Sun Microsystems, once said:

“No matter how many smart people there are within your firm, remember that there are far more smart people outside your firm.”

It's important to remember this. Even if you yourself are an expert in your respective field, there are others out there just as capable, if not more so. And in this era where top talent and resources can be accessed from almost anywhere, it pays to recognize when to reach beyond your known environment for advice and expertise.

This is part of what leaders do--gather intelligence, as well as assess its quality and relevance to the issue at hand, in order to make informed decisions. Without the ability to ask, as well as the willingness to reach out to those within and outside a person's comfort zone, people may not have the relevant insight, perspective, or information necessary to make good decisions.

Competitive advantage can come from timely access to information and expertise, not necessarily being the source of it. Approaching people for help isn't a sign of weakness, neither is asking questions. When done correctly, it demonstrates an ability to seek out and make quality decisions based on the best information available.

How do you ask for help?

Nothing Compares to You

There is likely no more appropriate focus for business today than to deal with the idea of entitlement.  Our workforce is pushed to consider self.  And while it is necessary to consider self in the grand scheme of life, it does not equate to all policy and business direction being dictated as it relates to self.

In our schools, for example, we have acclimated to testing utilizing a variety of methodologies and techniques.  If someone is a poor traditional test-taker, then we have allowed them to verbally take the test with the teacher or demonstrate a mastery of the subject matter is other ways.  Now move that same student ahead 10 years into the workforce.  How many different ways are there for the worker to demonstrate his/her mastery of the subject (work)?  Most times, there’s just one.  We assess in specific, often singular, ways.  A product has to look and function in a certain way; even the service industry has parameters to stay within.

The point is not necessarily that we assess in various ways (though I would lean towards such a thought), but rather our workers are left outside of the process.  They then slip into a fight or flight mentality.  Turnover comes easier when I realize I can’t do the work the way you want.  I will leave, no problem.  If I am 24, I will find another entry level role.  I’m young.  No big deal.  If I am 44, I will find another role.  I’m still young enough (please don’t tell me that this is not still young…I might just breakdown).  No big deal.  Plus there is always unemployment insurance to assist me in the transition.

But, if I choose to fight, I will retreat to entitlement.  I will call upon the god of entitlement and its minions - accommodation, leave and disparate treatment.  How can I take care of me?  How has this work environment been unhealthy?  It cannot be that I am unable to do what’s required of me, but rather it must be how terrible it is here at work.

Sound familiar.  Let me hit that nerve even more.  How many businesses are living in fear of their employees?  What if they sue?  Complain?  Gulp…call the Department of Labor?  The organizations established to protect the American worker are viewed as the enemy of American business.  How did this happen?  Entitlement.  (There are real situations where a breaking of the law is happening in some companies; it has to be addressed.  Of course it does.  I am not swinging the pendulum too far the other way.)

So, what to do?

• Address it – don’t be scared!  Call it out.  Say, “We all come from a position of entitlement.”  Work through simple examples.  Don’t accuse.  Share general observations.  Let people laugh at you.  Let them laugh at themselves.
• Be transparent – as best as you can, share financials.  Let people know that the pot is only so big.  Yeah, I want to live at Google offices, too, but we can’t.  Who’s going to pay for it?  Once some more liquidity is in our hands, how should we spend it?  Which of these three options makes better sense in light of our financials and our mission?  Let employees engage!
• Coach – devise a plan to battle “me first.”  How do we call it out in each other without irritating the stew out of each other?  There is nothing wrong with asking a question about self, but is that the default position?  Demonstrate business acumen and meet your employee where he/she is.  Guide them through components of business decisions.  Long term, this will pay off in huge dividends…and I don’t mean just money.

I believe we are better than entitlement.  We have to be.  Our business cultures, our family units, society as a whole needs us to move beyond this perspective.  When we see it, we have to take action.  Healthy, lasting business development comes out of a functional belief in the work to be done and the integrity it takes to do it.  Encourage pride, speak to the struggles and affirm correct competencies.  We are more than one.