Don't Worry, Be Happy

There are almost 92,000 books being sold on Amazon.com right now that contain the word "happy" in the title.  This does not necessarily include all of the books that are actually about happiness.  Nor the ones that are about satisfaction, contentment or peace.  

#WorkHuman was a conference recently held by +Globoforce in Orlando. And while it was a conference founded upon recognition thoughts and strategies, there was a push towards happiness that I found refreshingly interesting.

From a scientific approach, the concept of happiness was explored by Shawn Achor.  What benefit is there to happiness in the workplace?  Of course, we would rather people be happy than sad at work.  It's not likely that any of us looks to see a line of sad people outside of our door that we need to convert to happy ones.  However, there is something to be said about our ability to promote a happier culture.  +JetBlue VP of People Michael Elliott shared how it's the job of HR, for example, to sell the success stories of the company.  Preach the ways we shine.  We have an opportunity to support the core values and encourage the mission of our organizations through a pursuit of happiness.

Consider, however, the concept of joy.  Happiness tends to be an emotional consideration, and while there are fuller perspectives, joy is more of a state of being.  What can we do to foster this level of consideration?  How can pursuing the right perspective of such a state of being impact workplace culture?

• Where does the joy come from? - Look for ways to push those around us to consider self-awareness.  Not necessarily in the metaphysical sense, but think of it in light of the wellness and mindfulness initiatives available to us.  Grounding people is a gift.  Very often, we get ensnared by the busyness of our roles.  We need to motivate ourselves to do our work because it's an expression of who we are.  Look to align the joy being cultivated in you around the functional roles of existence.  If it's out of line, you'll sense it clearly.  Adjust this in a timely manner and, then, recalibrate.
• What can the joy do for others? - In addition to the ways joy brings a stability to self, the joy one has can serve as a beacon to those looking to secure their own.  Reflecting the active nature of joy will inspire others, but will be done as a genuine by-product.  Manufacturing a trite or programmatic approach to this will be apparent to others observing, and the initiative will fail.  The honesty that joy gives is infectious and truthful.  There is something so attractive about someone who is naturally full of joy.  If you have known someone like this, think about how he/she made you feel.  Don't hide the joy at work; live it fully and others will observe it.
• What will work be like in light of joy? - A study in Britain showed that providing happiness outlets, even in small doses, could increase productivity by as much as 12%.  12%?!  Think about that.  That could be tens of thousands to hundreds of millions for our companies.  Amazing to think that encouraging happiness could lead to such results.  And the feeling of happiness leads to an openness to joy, contentment and satisfaction.  When workplaces cultivate this type of depth, talent does not look to leave as willingly, especially those who've worked in other environments.  There will be a great appeal to remain connected and committed to who and what the company is.

None of this is meant to cover up the difficulties that come along with living.  Sickness, financial strain, divorce, death...all of this and more vie for our attention and steal our joy.  We should not look to be smiling idiots or attempt to gloss over the pain that others might have.  We're still people, People!  

The thoughts here are reflective of the measurable affect that happiness can bring to the workplace.  While at this conference, +The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research founder was on-hand to share his perspective on life.  To hear someone who could have become rather bitter and jaded at the unfairness of life, share that he loves his life, is humbling.  The gripes about work - the amount to do, the managers that annoy and the lack of variety of coffee flavors - find a better context and become minimized in light of such a perspective.  Michael J. Fox shared his heart and his joy.  The lesson for all of us is to do the same.

Love Yourself

Almira Gulch.  What a name.  It's fraught with constipation and furrowed eye brows.  And while it wasn't her idea to be named that, she found a way to fulfill the name's intent.  Wait?  You don't know who Almira Gulch is?  Really?  You might know her by her stage name - The Wicked Witch of the West.  In The Wizard of Oz, Almira is the black and white version of her technicolor green self.  And she delivers deliberate cruelty and fear across the spectrum of color.  And while Dorothy ultimately destroys her (she liquidated her, according to the Wizard), there is a scene prior to the trip to Oz that is symbolic of HR.

Auntie Em, the perennial calling card for home, is face to face with Almira Gulch.  Em has the perfect opportunity to tell Almira off.  Ms. Gulch has come to take away Toto (not Toto!), and it's crushing to the young Dorothy.  Em's maternal instinct kicks in and she's ready to take on this brash lizard of a woman.  And what does she say?  "Almira Gulch, just because you own half the county doesn't mean that you have the power to run the rest of us. For twenty-three years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!"  NO!

Why didn't she say it?  We're all there with her.  We want Em to haul off and deck her, honestly, and instead she leads us up to the finish line and then falls down just prior.  So frustrating.  We tend to do the same in HR.  

Think about terminations.  There are some that bring great joy to our hearts, admit it.  We're thrilled to see this slug of a human being exit our organization.  This person has been the bane of our existence for too long.  We've spent hours on this person and the situations created as a result.  And while there was hopefully some good that came through it all (management training, refinement of the discipline process), it is still a huge sigh of relief that he/she is gone.

Far be it from me to get my Philly on and ask you to just tell the person off on his/her way out (If you need that help, though, my mom is available for a reasonable cost...she's fantastic at it).  However, there is a truth to be shared.  In terminations, for example, it is helpful to the person for us to share what he/she can take from the experience in prep for the next role.  Frankly, we preach that formal reviews should contain nothing that hasn't already been shared with the employee.  So, sitting with the person on the way out to remind him/her of the progression shouldn't be new news.  What it is though is an honest recap of truth.

Haven't you hired someone and three months later think, "How did this person ever hold a job?"  And yet, they've worked for ten years' previous.  Likely, managers were just glad to see them go and didn't share much to help that person transition to the next role. 

And don't wait for a termination.  Give honest perspective throughout.  Are you afraid of being sued?  Seriously?  Anyone can sue any company for any reason.  Why fear what can happen no matter what?  I've watched companies get served lawsuits that are baseless and untrue, and yet still have to settle.  I don't think I am bitter in this, but rather, I take it as constructive freedom.

Please don't lose your basic HR communicative flow.  Frame your words, be thoughtful and encourage dialogue.  Ask perspective questions of the employee.  Be knowledgeable of the situation and prepared to discuss.  And tell the truth.

I would love to tell off a million people, give or take a thousand, but that's not ultimately for their benefit.  However, don't swing the pendulum too far the other way.  Don't live in fear and therefore not share enough.  Give people constructive feedback in an honest framework.  And if you need the release, go outside, behind the building and lose your mind.  And then come in, visit security, watch the video footage and crack yourself up.  You'll be back in the right frame of mind afterwards.

You Don't Own Me

It's not likely to be news that words have power.  They have power to alter behavior, influence change, lead a revolution and cause the deepest kinds of pain possible.  As professionals, we might forget that people still are impacted by words.  Perhaps we've taken to bending the truth in our conversations to either soften the blow or paint a better picture of things so that employees don't lose heart.  While there are a couple of studies that try to prove the value of lying, there are more that point to honest transparency as the beneficial route.  Whatever the reasons might be, our words matter.  

Have you seen the little girl telling her dad a lie about what happened to Barbie (and why?).  You must!  Amazing insight into our DNA.  We're not taught how to lie; it's a natural phenomenon for us.  We just do it in order to avoid trouble, deflect attention or save our skin.  Truth is easily replaced by a lie.  Consider the countless times people get pulled over.  Think everyone tells the cop the truth?  Or even playing the "I was speeding? I had no idea. Oh my gosh," when you know full well that you were flooring it.  Some of us give Oscar-worthy performances!

Fear is a huge motivator of our words.  What would it mean if an HR Manager said that he/she didn't know something that's HR related?  It shouldn't be a shock, but fear might stand in the way of that HR Manager being honest.  He/She might be afraid of looking weak or not-as-experienced as a supervisor would expect.  And so, if we are backed into a corner with our fear, we might lie.  We might say we know something.  We might say we have done a certain task.  We might offer perspective as if we've been there-done that.  All of it is dishonest.  And now those lies have to be built upon as time goes on.  Those lies own you.

Organizational health functions best in honesty.  When staff know that the words of the leaders are real, the response is genuine.  In late 2008, when the economy in the US fell due to the housing crisis, company leaders sat with their employees to let them know what was going on.  In some of those conversations, layoffs were presented as a viable option to save money.  The response from many employees was to keep everyone and just reduce every employee's hours.  They understood what was happening, why it was happening, and based upon the honest dialogue from leadership, volunteered a plan of action.  While the stress of the economics was real and cannot be denied, there was health in the approach to all get into the same boat and hold on.

It is important to note that no one is alone in this.  In some ways, we've helped create a culture of untruth.  Our fantasies are affirmed more than our realities.  We have allowed our leadership to be untrustworthy for a long while.  Just looking at our political landscape reflects such a position. Our role as management, as leaders, is to break the cycle.  I am not naive to think that this will mean open doors for everything with full disclosure.  Quite frankly, there are details that are not for the world to know.  This is not dishonest if it's shared just that way...."Here's what I can tell you and understand there are some parts that I cannot offer much detail due to (confidentiality, a matter of law, unsettled circumstances, etc.)"

We have one another to stand with in our doubt, in our lack of knowledge and in our fear. It's okay to not know something.  That's the beauty of asking our community, of attending seminars and workshops, of developing friendships with managers from other companies.  We can't know it all, and we have to be okay to say so.  Honestly, I know for myself and some others who've shared with superiors where our difficulties were, we were not fired.

Perhaps, you find this whole topic puzzling or amateur.  Fine, but the reality is that there is enough fear pushing a lack of truth in our workplaces.  If it's not you, it may be someone working for you.  Do our staff feel that they can say what they don't know without fear of reprisal?  Are they apt to lie?  How can we cultivate a different environment?

In HR, we see people lie often.  It's sad, but true.  We read resumes containing experiences that never occurred.  We hear from employees in a disciplinary situation covering their butts.  We hear executives tell us that everyone will keep their jobs as a result of a merger.  It is all around us.  We can push for a more honest culture by being an example first.

Caught Up

You know when you walk into your place and you see your significant other in a compromising position with your roommate.  And then you stop in your tracks with your jaw dropped until you see that one of them has gotten a bracelet caught in the sweater of the other.  And then you understand the context of the situation.  And it's not so bad.  That hasn't happened to you?  Well, you could just as easily find Three's Company on demand and watch any episode.

The specifics of the situation may change but the overall issue remains the same.  On Three's Company, the plotline was the same - some misunderstanding (usually of a sexual or relational nature), followed by a poor response, an awkward reveal of the truth, and then, reconciliation.  The core issue was mistrust, but the situations that revealed it changed.  

In our organizations, we might find ourselves facing the same circumstances.  There is a core issue at hand that seems to reveal itself in what appear to be unconnected situations.  In actuality, they are absolutely connected.  I recently was with some HR pros who were addressing an issue that had come up a few times previously.  The situation was presented newly, but the core issue remained the same.  And what we do in HR often does not push the envelope towards addressing the core issue.  HR tends to seek peace as its goal.  We'll just hurry up and find a quick solution to the situation, rather than the issue, and hope that it doesn't come up again or that the person who continues to pick at the issue leaves the organization.  This is not managing the situation effectively.

What we can do is take the posture of dialogue to reveal the core issue.  Allow the conversation to move beyond the buzz of cliched approaches with which we get caught up - we need to manage this change better, we need to assess our strengths so we know if we've got the right people on the bus, we need to have an outing so that we can unify our team.  Listen, those things can be great, but if the core issue is lack of trust, then none of those recommendations, along with a thousand others like it, won't work.  It will serve as confirmation, in some cases, as to why the mistrust is there.  Cliques, suspicion and faux-enthusiasm become obstacles heaped upon an already tough set of circumstances.

Consider sitting in a room and simply asking, "Who wants to be here?"  What if we start with that?  What if we push the conversation around why people don't want to be there?  In some cases, there's so much damage in the history book that someone might not be motivated to meet in the middle.  If that's the case, then an organization can just keep pouring good resources towards resolution that will never come.  If someone wants out, then sometimes that's the best answer.  There is not going to be a pretty bow around it and that person may not speak well of you or the organization upon departure.  Honestly, oh, well.  

Learn the lesson from that situation and understand that the core issue still needs to be addressed with those remaining.  Call it out.  Put it on the table.  Have an honest dialogue about it and understand that all parties might not see the same circumstance through the same lens.  Embrace it, as frustrating as it might be, and ask good questions as to how to handle the core issue.  It's not about dying on the hill of circumstances, but rather fighting to get back to giving others the benefit of the doubt.  As a team, we have to encourage that, but we have to do it from the core, not the surface.

Some of us need to wake up and take stock of the issues in our organizations.  Stop pretending they aren't there, that they'll go away or that it's someone else's problem.  Our job is to address and provide the forum for dialogue, healing and growth moving forward.  We lay out expectations on both sides for moving this forward.  We don't accept everyone's stubbornness; we don't bow to fear.  We don't allow one thing to be said in our meetings and then another to be said at the cubicles.  We push for honesty, grace and truth.  

Listen, I recognize how hard this can be in some of our companies.  I know that there is entrenched organizational un-health and the unwilling spirits of employees.  But, I also know that there will only be repeat episodes of Three's Company as long as nothing is done to get to the core issue.  And those episodes will play without a laugh track. 

Are You Gonna Go My Way?

Labeling is an easy skill for most of us.  Our minds have been trained to categorize and label people, things and places.  There are schemata filling the schema in our brains.  In other words, files filling file cabinets in our minds with connections and definitions.  It's why you might smell something, good or bad, and connect it to a memory, a place, a person or a time.  We label.

For those of you re-watching episodes on MeTV of "Happy Days" (or maybe watching them for the first time), you know that the coolest guy on the earth in the 1970's was Arthur Fonzarelli, aka Fonzie.  Initially labeled a juvenile delinquent, Fonzie rose to show a deeper character and a true coolness.  When an organization that worked with kids with who suffered serious abuse and were emotional stifled came to the attention of director Garry Marshall, he wanted Fonzie to alter the label of super-cool a bit.  When Fonzie cried in one episode, and those kids watched it, the result was an open door for that agency to help those kids.  They were ready to emote since Fonzie did.

The labeling takes over rather quickly, however.  We decide who is a jerk, who is nice, who is conceited, who is fake, who is a wimp.  We connect people into categories and then treat the group in that category in the same manner.  We respond singularly, for example, to someone who is mean.  For some of us, we retreat from such a person.  For others, we look to engage and rip apart that person.  It's a sport - the art of the run and the art of the fight.  We all travel the scale and, for some of us, we have to manage people on the same scale.

Our involvement in the label movement is an everyday contribution.  When we treat our employees in a responsive manner rather than at the level we want them to operate, we display our commitment to the label rather than the person.  To be sure, there are jerks.  Of course, those jerks might not be long for their employment.  Yet, even if they are  to be with you for a short time, let's engage them in a way that calls them to greatness rather than meets them in their jerkiness.

As you think about how you're reacting, consider these thoughts:

• Check your tone - are you sharper with a particular person than others?  Is your label of that person the reason for the difficulty in communication?
• Re-read emails before you send them - when tone is hard to know, as it is in emails, it means that a bit more time should be spent re-reading prior to send.  You may be giving shade, even unintentionally, by doors you've left open for interpretation of words (and, yes, I said "shade").
• Examine distribution of work  - are you sharing types of work as well as the amount of work equally, based upon skill sets alone?  Or are you giving the crappy work only to the employee you've labeled negatively?
• Rotate opportunities to lead - Allow staff to take turns leading various meetings, training sessions or projects.  By rotating the team leader, you are sure that you're negative slant towards someone isn't getting in the way of job expectations and opportunities.

If you're thinking, "I would never let So-And-So lead a meeting or be in charge of a specific type of work", that's fine.  I would just ask back, "Well, then, why is he/she still working at the company?"  If the basis work of work isn't being met that you've uniformly given, then the employment of that person should end.  The work is the reason a person is hired.  

Bear in mind, too, that people might just sometimes surprise you.  The jerk could let his/her guard down and show you how wonderful he/she is.  The wimp might find his/her courage due to the way you're running the department.  The fake might become the most authentic person on your team as he/she learns that skill sets and work product matter more than the facade portrayed.  If Fonzie can cry, then any of these changes could happen. Heyyyyy...